Are you typecasting your children? Are you limiting their abilities for the rest of their life? How often do we, as well meaning moms, introduce our kids as: the smart one, the social one, the athletic one, the quiet one, the organized one, the funny one?
I am guilty as charged. I have been that mom, all the while thinking I was complimenting and honoring my child. After all I was saying something uplifting and good, yet I was really telling the smart one, she was not social and the athletic one, she was not the smart one. In reality, I put limitations on their abilities to be all that they were created to be.
At the same time, we have spoken negativity over our kids by saying simple things to our friends within hearing distance of tiny ears, such as: the lazy one, the rough one, the messy one, the rebellious one, the not so smart one, the troubled one, the one who doesn’t get along with others, the wild one, the one who is just like his dad (not in a good way).
Are you typecasting your children?
We have heard so many parents speak personalities, strengths, and weaknesses over their children. I am guilty of putting my kids in a box. It has to stop as we are crippling our children’s personalities and not equipping them to be well-rounded, confident adults. How can they think they are smart when Mom said their sister is the smart one? Just because one is smarter or more social does not mean he or she cannot become more social or smarter.
Children believe what we say, thus accepting the hidden lie they will never be known as the social one, the smart one, the neat one, the athletic one. They will always be the good one, the bad one, or the wild one. Before we know it, we have put a sign around their neck that they will carry for life. Unfortunately, we as parents have that kind of power over our children. Let’s choose to speak positivity, encouragement, and the building up of our children in the way they should go for the best of their lives.
It is our job as parents to teach confidence and boldness. We are to encourage our kids to shine in their strengths, not give up when life is tough. We are to teach them to keep trying, get up when they fall, and try again. Failing is not a weakness, it’s an opportunity to learn and fail forward. We are to teach them to be well-rounded young men and women. After all, that is exactly what colleges and employers are looking for. Why do we put limitations on our kids at such a young age?
However, there are two things you should know, Mom:
1. There is nothing wrong with complementing your children, just don’t make them “the one.”
2. There is nothing wrong with reaching out to a friend to discuss troubles you are having with your children, just protect their innocent ears from hearing they are “the troubled one.”
Mold them, but mold them with confidence in all areas of their life. What we say today makes a difference in their tomorrows, their families, workplace, social environment, and the world we live in.
They will all have smart days, funny days, quiet days, loud days, and some days they will put their teddy bear in the toilet. When all is said and done, you are to be their biggest fan, the one they can depend on, their cheerleader who believes and encourages them to reach for the stars because they can.
You’ll also like Here’s to Strong Men, and Here’s How to Raise One, You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be a Great Mom, Dear SAHM: I See You and Want You to Know These 8 Things, The Thief I Let In: a Day in the Life of a Working Mom, What Your Kids Get When You Let Them Fail, and Teaching Your Daughter How to Stand Out from the Crowd