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What to Do When You Need a Change

What to Do When You Need a Change

One of the great things about the chronological advancement of life, is you have brilliant hindsight. As the years pass by glaring life realizations gain light. The biggest may be that the only time my circumstances ever changed is when I acted. Even though there were many times in life I wished I had a do over, that cute little reset button, that’s not how it worked. There is nothing that will completely erase the past. There is no miracle cure that will fix the problem and change the future.

But, there is always, may I emphatically without reservation repeat the word always, a path to create the change. Forever and in all things there is hope. Maybe I need to scream this one … there is hope!

I know this because I lived it. Sometimes I took action, and sometimes I did not.

Stuck in a job you don’t like? Kids won’t behave? Have a boyfriend whose video games take precedence over his relationships? Have you made compromises you regret? Maybe the road you’re on is not the one you intended. Ok, we’ve all found ourselves there, the question is, what ya gonna do about it?

The hard part is recognizing that all change begins with you.

Let me get you started with a few tips that this amazing hindsight has taught me:

1. Identify. What specifically needs to be changed? Consider this slowly, thoughtfully.

2. Define. What are you seeking; your purpose and goals? Happiness is not the end but the byproduct of achieving those.

3. Accept. Be willing to accept the problem may be your doing (hated that one!). It’s not simply someone else’s fault. We hold responsibility, even if it’s getting into the mess in the first place.

4. Plan. It must be specific, purposed and achievable.

5. Find your people. Find capable, compassionate, supportive folks to assist.

6. Do it. Step up to do the hard work to make this life change.

You’ll never find that fulfilling career, keep the kids in line (at least the majority of the time), build healthy relationships, or be content alone unless you take action. You will never rise above your compromises or make this new road until you do. So when life finds you stuck, defeated, or discouraged, take heart.

This is not the end of the road, only an opportunity to build your off ramp, the way to get from where you are to where you want to go. Then years later as you have your own hindsight you’ll see the great things that happened simply because you did.


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Darlene, President of The Grit and Grace Project, is crazy enough to jump in the deep end then realize she may not have a clue where she’s landed. She has spent her adult life juggling careers in the music business, been an author, a video producer, and also cared for her family ... some days drowning, other days believing she’s capable of synchronized swimming.

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