If wealth is determined by the friendships in our lives, then I am swimming in gold. There was a time when this wasn’t true. In fact, for a time in my early 30s, I experienced such poverty in this area that I ached. Thankfully, during the past decade, several women have entered my story, invested in me, and become an integral part of my life. These women are 24 karat beauties, who have shining hearts, keen wit, and generous spirits.
And I rarely spend time with them.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t get to spend a lot of time with my friends. I’m talking about “no agenda, no errands, no exercise, no excuse” together-for-the-fun-of-it time. In the past when I’ve “made time” for my girlfriends, it has been with a premise: book club, scrapbooking, exercising, or some other pursuit.
But isn’t relationship alone a worthy enough reason to be with one another?
Aren’t we allowed to enjoy each other without need of excuse or the pull for productivity?
Recently, I had such an experience when I met two friends for brunch. Usually this means a quick bite, and then we’re off going our separate ways. This time, however, we sat outside enjoying the waning warmth of summer, and before I knew it two hours passed in relaxed, real conversation.
I tell you—it was just what I needed. My spirit was fed, and my heart was nourished. If it hadn’t been time to go to work, I could have sat with them for another two hours. It felt luxurious. Pampering. Good for me. And for a moment, I felt guilty. Indulgent. Selfish. (I know I’m not alone in this reaction.) Why? Why did I need to justify the two wonderful hours I spent with these friends?
The truth is we need each other. We need women in our lives. We need friends with whom we can be authentic and vulnerable. We need to share our stories. We need to be together, without an agenda, but for the pure pleasure of friendship. We need to relax and laugh and be silly. We need to give ourselves permission to pursue and enjoy these friendships. It’s refreshing and restorative. It’s rich. And it’s really, really okay.
You’ll also like Coffee & Conversation: How to Connect With a Friend, Enjoying Life, Friendship, and Unscripted Moments, 9 Qualities That Make a Great Friendship, and How Friendship Changes as an Adult