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Dear Single Friends: What I See When I Look at You

To my single friends

I have watched you. I have seen your days of discouragement, your seasons of loneliness. I have hurt when you hurt and desired for you all that you desire. Your road may be one without a partner, or you may be alone because the one you had left you behind. I have seen you feel so very alone.

Then I looked past those moments to see how you have lived, how you have loved. How you have filled the voids in life that others of us have no means to fill. You have stayed late to hold another’s grief in your arms when many of us go home. You have guided that niece when her mother is desperate for another voice, yours being the only one to which she will listen.

You have guided your children when you were the only one there. You have defended them, disciplined them, and cared for them knowing that your voice, though solo, carries weight. It was your strength and courage they depended on.

You have sat by your friend’s sick child’s hospital bed so she can leave and care for the other children. You are a constant in the needs of your community. You have taken upon yourself the financial support of a child in another country.

…your voice, though solo, carries weight.

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You have grabbed ahold of life through international travel, experiencing the lives and countries I only dream about. You have gained understanding of the world at large through those adventures. You have crossed borders and bridged cultures, then brought back the wisdom of God’s diverse world.

You may wish at the next big event or party that you had a plus one, but I can tell you this: your life is rich. You have many plus ones. The lives you touch hold treasure because you are there, because you allow your time to be theirs. When many of us are packing lunches, vacuuming the house, and juggling our lives, you are mending hearts.

You inspire me. You encourage me. Thank you, my friend, for taking the life you’ve been given and showing me how to truly live.


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Darlene, President of The Grit and Grace Project, is crazy enough to jump in the deep end then realize she may not have a clue where she’s landed. She has spent her adult life juggling careers in the music business, been an author, a video producer, and also cared for her family ... some days drowning, other days believing she’s capable of synchronized swimming.

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