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This Will Make You Rethink Your Singleness

This Will Make You Rethink Your Singleness

I am engulfed in a society where some of the best things this world has to offer come in pairs. Cute shoes. Contact lenses. Delicious Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Diamond earrings. Ideally, the greatest of couples. Raised in a conservative Christian household, every girl is, at some point, taught about the importance of finding the perfect match. And this Cinderella seems to be one shoe short of the sparkling set. Perhaps my glass slipper shattered somewhere because Prince Charming hasn’t shown up at my front door yet.

But from personal experience, I have this embedded feeling that, since I am still single, I am somehow still missing a piece of what God designed my life to look like. The self-doubting voice in my head that says if I wanted a passage onto Noah’s Ark, I would be denied a boarding pass because I’m not part of a set. I’m not marching two by two.

Well, that is a bunch of bologna. And if I spend any more nights in tears, blubbering over being single, I’m not only wasting my time and my life, but I’m also wasting my purpose. It’s pretty pathetic to sit back and withhold some of the gifts and talents that I do have until I finally get myself a man. What I have should be served to those around me and not held on reserve until the “right guy” shows up. Being single does not give me a freebie pass to be stagnant or stationary. I owe it to myself to find my inner strength, beauty, and confidence. All regardless of my relationship status.

I carry a lot of burdens: relationship struggles (or lack thereof), work stress, approval of others, self-esteem issues…my list could go on forever. Doubting my worth seems to be my constant battle. It seems I’m always laying something back down at the foot of the cross after I’ve picked it up again and again, knowing I need to just leave it in God’s hands. I should just be saying a prayer, and then getting off my knees and stepping forward in faith.

On days when my heart is so weak and my fears fester, I struggle to sleep. I can’t shut off my brain or put down my phone, and I end up in tears left over from depression, anger, and disappointment. I know there’s nothing else I can do. I’ve already given everything back to God. But I’m still left wondering what the plan for my life is. Searching for my purpose.

Finding what I want in a partner is easy, finding my purpose in life is a whole lot harder. And I’m painfully learning, growing, and discovering that I don’t need to have one to pursue the other. I’m not required to have a partner in order to have a purpose. So why do I let it occupy so much of my time and my emotions? Most likely because I’m not investing enough in the pursuit of my life’s purpose. It’s a whole lot more rewarding to chase my passions and gain the positive results than it is to search for a man to fill the fairytale fantasy of a life that may not be one I’m meant to have at all.

So instead of struggling through singlehood, I need to put down in faith the things I continually pick up in fear. I’m choosing to grab a bottle of Super Coffee, work out, and power the passion of my purpose each and every day. With or without a partner. I’m trusting what the Bible says, “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (Proverbs 3:6).

For more encouragement, listen to this podcast episode from This Grit and Grace Life5 Things a Woman Must Do for Success in Life – 040!

You’ll also like What My Faith Says About My PurposeNot Sure How to Answer the Question: “What’s Your Why?”Does Finding Your Purpose Really Matter?, Dear Single Friends: What I See When I Look at You, and How to Have Your Own Coffee + Bible Time.



Cortney's found beauty in the warriors from around the world—from those who’ve had to fight tougher battles and still smile. When it comes to life, she’d say sweating the small stuff only makes you smell bad.

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