Have you ever wondered what women are searching for on the World Wide Web? What are the questions we ask in hopes that a search engine can solve our problems as instantly as shaking a Magic 8-Ball? Recipes, tire sizes, celebrity gossip, directions…those are all in my most-frequent searches. Things that I thought were pretty basic, normal, and acceptable things to look up.
According to my last search, these are some of the top and most common inquiries from my fellow women:
How Many Cats Are Too Many Cats?
Are we asking for a friend? When you have to ask, you might have too many.
How To Lose Weight Overnight
Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice? I’ve been working on losing weight “overnight” for over a year now. Weight loss and healthy living isn’t magic. It takes time and discipline and not magic beans. Unless they are coffee beans. Those are magic.
Cute Finger Tattoos
Whether you’re for or against tattoos, I’m not sure I would ever want a tattoo of something that is popular at the moment. Tattoos are personal and pretty permanent. Whether on your finger or anywhere else, I would make sure you know what you want and for what reason before you go letting the internet determine what is cute or not.
How to Buy Wine in Bulk
I honestly have no idea. I personally don’t drink it. I would struggle to even purchase a single bottle when presented with all the options, let alone consider how to purchase it in large quantities.
Where Can I Buy a Unicorn?
To embrace a little Julie Graham (@thejuliegraham) and her mantra of “Be Bold and Just Be You.” I’m all for letting your nerd-flag fly, but reality needs to be a foundation. Dear women, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, and Snuffaluffagus aren’t for sale on Amazon.
Can I Get Pregnant?
One Day Late, Am I Pregnant?
Is It Normal To Have Your Period Once a Month?
I’m going to combine all of these together. I understand that any problems or questions about what happens down there is embarrassing. And doing your research is important. Being educated and proactive about your health is vital to your well-being. But ladies, we should be able to be open and honest when talking to our doctors and our GYNs about what makes us female. If you’re one of the many women searching this topic, this podcast episode is a great place to start: Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask Your OB-GYN Answered by Dr. Holly Miller – 119!
How to Cut Your Own Hair
I’m having horror flashbacks happening right now thinking about when my mom tried to cut my bangs. The shorter they got, the more the desire to wear hats became a real thing. If you’re bold and brave enough to test those waters yourself, I give you major props. But I personally would find a trusted hairdresser. A woman’s hair is some sacred material. Cutting, coloring, and changing of any kind can be considered some sort of religious ritual that requires someone much more qualified than advice from the web. Or, just be willing to wear a hat for a while.
How to Twerk
I honestly didn’t know that was still a popular thing to know how to do.
Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me?
Well, I’m not sure the inter-webs are going to know that fact any more than you do. You and I both know that if it could generate a response at all, it probably won’t be the answer you’re going to trust. Woman up. Talk to your significant other. If you are having serious doubts about his ability to be faithful to you, consulting a web search isn’t going to salvage your relationship.
And last, but not least…
Does Passing Gas Burn Calories?
Well, I guess someone would have to wonder that at some point. I never have. And from what I can find, research can’t seem to decide it either. But hey, you believe what you need to. I might still jump on the treadmill just in case it doesn’t.
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