Carey Melton | The Grit and Grace Project

Want to be a Strong Woman? Be Dependent And Vulnerable

I’ve thought a lot about strength lately. Working full-time, raising three young kids, my husband going through a job change… During this crazy life stage, I hear a lot of, “You’re so strong”; “How do you do it all?”; “How are you so strong?” It’s flattering to hear, and sometimes I think to myself, “Wow I have them fooled!” Other times I almost cringe inside and want to cry, “If they only knew how weak I really feel.” It’s usually in the moments when I’m trying to do things on my own, be tough, and look strong and unfazed that I’m actually the weariest. Webster defines strength as “being able to withstand great force or pressure.” In today’s society, we must wear […]

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I’m a Busy Mom—How to Give Back When My Plate Is Full

By Carey Melton / Purpose, Motherhood

It’s 8:15 p.m. and you’ve been up for 16 ½ hours. Your day started with coffee, Bible, packing lunches, showers, makeup, actually making yourself presentable, signing agendas, looking over homework, ironing, dressing, brushing, constantly “motivating,” maybe even a little wrestling. In the car, you give a rundown of the day, quizzing, reminding, praying, consoling, and encouraging. You drop the kids off and are filled with anxious emotions: “Are they okay? Will they do their best? Will they make good choices? Will they….” You fill in the blank, I’m a busy mom. At work, you assume the position of friend, advisor, encourager, listener, decision-maker, supporter for people you spend more time with than your own family, and leave over 8 hours later with

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I Lost My Mom and Found My True Strength

By Carey Melton / HerStory, Purpose

I’ve heard it said that life is the sum of all the choices you make. I get this, but what about the things we don’t choose? Don’t those things still shape our lives and set a course that we may not have “chosen” for ourselves? Growing up, we all hear phrases like, “You’re in the mistake zone,” referring to young adults between the ages of 18-22, and, “You never know what you have until it’s gone.” Being well out of my 20s now, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard or experienced more accurate phrases. I’ve made a myriad of mistakes along the way, and I try to live each day with no regret, but there’s one choice that still haunts me.

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10 Life Lessons From Christmas Classics That Will Make You Think

By Carey Melton / Life & Culture

Being an English teacher, I always look for the meaning behind the words. A song is not just a song, and a movie isn’t just a movie; it’s a script dripping with images and symbols to represent something deeper and is written to reveal something tender to the heart of the author. It drives my husband and students crazy! “Why can’t the wall just be yellow,” they might ask about a story. Nope. For me, there is always a reason. Even the authors of the most anticipated Christmas classics had a goal, a purpose. We can learn a thing or two from these 10 Christmas classics! The Santa Claus: A story of forgiveness and second chances. Divorced dad, Scott, has custody of

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7 Faith Podcasts That Will Encourage Every Mom

These Faith-Based Podcasts Will Encourage Every Mom

By Carey Melton / Faith, Motherhood

Ever heard the phrase, “It takes a village,” about raising kids? Well, with three young ones who are only getting older and more complicated, I need a whole village to myself! Shoot, each kid needs their own village. Each child is so different; this means different methods of raising, different temperaments, and different responses. They are not cookie-cutter versions of my husband or me. Motherhood is all new territory every day and every year, with every child. After talking with several friends who have older kids, I’m pretty sure the adversity during the toddler and elementary years are just the calm before the storm. Before I had children, I started filling my village with people, books, sermons, devotions—you name it. In recent

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Do High School Girls Want to Be Sophisticated Ladies?

By Carey Melton / Purpose

“Hold your head high when you walk.” “Make sure your skirt and shirt are pulled down.” “Don’t be louder than a boy.” “Cross your legs when you sit in a skirt.” “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” “At times, it’s OK to be seen and not heard.” “Make eye contact and say ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘yes sir’.” “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” “Girls who talk about other girls will most likely talk about you too.” “Always act like a lady.” These are just a few of the simple lessons in life I remember my mom teaching me as a young girl. They

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Ever Crash a Kid’s Birthday Party?

By Carey Melton / Motherhood

Not too long ago, my kids were invited to a birthday party at a local jump and play place on a weekday. Those are win-win parties because the birthday kid, the guests, and their family just show up and play. Everything is paid for, and the venue provides the food, plates, treat bags and entertainment, and the kids get worn out! I had a meeting scheduled for the same time the party started, so I double-checked the time, date, location and confirmed that my husband was available to take the kids. When I called to let him know my meeting was over and I was on my way, he said, “OK, the kids are having a great time and already jumping and

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Infertility Is an Interruption, but Not the End

By Carey Melton / Life & Culture

When I was a little girl, I distinctly remember playing with my baby dolls and being their “Momma.” I gave them bottles, rocked them, changed diapers, put them down for night-night, and talked and sang to them…my babies even had a place at the dinner table. It all came second nature to me, and I never questioned whether or not this would be my reality one day. Why would I? No mom sees their little girl pretending to be Momma and stops her to say, “Now honey, there is a chance you won’t be able to have kids.” I know I’m not the only little girl who played Momma or house and assumed it would all happen in real life exactly as

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Working Mom Guilt, When You Love Your Work

By Carey Melton / Work & Money, Motherhood

I have to start this off with a confession. I sat down to write this article four different times but couldn’t put it all into words. None of it made sense. I am simply dealing with working mom guilt who loves her work. The words sounded so silly, confusing, and insignificant. But, as I sit here at the start of the school day, literally with tears in my eyes because I’ve just dropped off a five-year-old to kindergarten, a three-year-old to preschool, and I am in my classroom awaiting the flood of students, I can honestly say that everyone is right where they are supposed to be, and it all makes sense now. I’m stepping back into the classroom after over three

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Tired? Overwhelmed? 4 Guilt-Free Reasons to Say No

By Carey Melton / Life & Culture

Are you tired and overwhelmed? Distracted? Disappointed in yourself? Feeling used and used up? There is a good chance you’re saying “yes” to too many things and people. True, you have a part to play in life. False. You have to play every part in the play of life. It seems impossible to find guilt-free reasons to say no. Too many times, we try to do it all because somewhere along the way, we fell into the trap of believing if we’re not saying “yes,” then we’re selfish or lazy or replaceable or aren’t good enough. Author, Lysa TerKeurst, stated in her book, The Best Yes: “If I want things about my life to change, if I want to change the way

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How to Wait With Grace During the Adoption Process

By Carey Melton / Motherhood, Best Of

Oh my goodness, it’s with tremendous humility that I write about adoption. To me, there is no greater honor than to have been chosen to adopt each of my babies. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would ever be giving insight or even be passionate about such a precious gift, I would have very enthusiastically said, “Never!” I have to confess that I love my comfort zones. It’s something I’ve always struggled with—making sure I adjust, adapt, and prepare in order to be comfortable. I thought that if something was “hard” then I must not be doing it right. This really started after my mom passed away. I began to take every relationship and situation in my life

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Want to Be a Woman of Virtue? Remember These 4 Things…

By Carey Melton / Faith

Several years ago, the school where my husband and I taught asked us to give the Baccalaureate speeches at the graduation festivities. This was extra special since it was the first graduating class in the school’s history, and it’s a privilege we still talk about to this day! We grew to love these kids as our own. We taught and coached them, had them over for dinner in our home, celebrated successes, and consoled through failures. It’s neat to see how God has worked things out, and now we are not only “former teachers” but friends with many of them. During the years we had with them, we focused on teaching them about life because they were all about to enter into

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A Note to Women Grieving on Mother’s Day

By Carey Melton / Motherhood

I won’t pretend to know or even understand all the situations that could make a woman grieve around the celebrations of Mother’s Day. I also won’t pretend to understand the unimaginable pain of losing a child. For Those Grieving on Mother’s Day What I can tell you is that I have grieved. Sometimes I still grieve, and not just on Mother’s Day—but maybe on a random Tuesday too. Like many of you, I’ve been on both sides of Mother’s Day being difficult to celebrate. I lost my mom; actually buried my mom four days before Mother’s Day 20 years ago. I’ve also grieved because I longed to be a mother so badly. Grief would rear its ugly head at pregnancy announcements for

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10 Mom Hacks That Will Make “Back to School” Easy

By Carey Melton / Motherhood

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or working mom, going back to school changes the flow of any routine you got into during the summer. Each new school year seems to be different, too. There can be new drop-off and pick-up guidelines, new start times, and new opportunities for your kids to be involved in before or after school activities. If you’re a seasoned “back to school” mom or are just now in the heart of this juggling act, you’ve got to keep things up and running on the homefront and not lose your mind in the process. With my three kids ages seven and under, a full-time job, and a husband’s schedule that allows him to be home most evenings, we have found

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Teaching During Covid Is No Joke, but We Can Finish Strong

By Carey Melton / Life & Culture

Picture it: a school in 2021. Welcome signs and student artwork are replaced by Covid-19 warning posters. Full faces are replaced by masks revealing only the eyeballs and up. Physical bodies are replaced by foreheads or ceiling fans on a screen. Class sets of copies are replaced by scanning > saving as a pdf > downloading to your computer > then adding it to Google Classroom. All the while, we teachers are getting our in-person students started on their bell-ringer and signing onto the Google Meet with virtual students. We do all this with the same smile we started the year with, although now it’s a little forced. We click, talk, answer questions, pass out papers, and write on the board simultaneously!

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To the Teachers Who Want to Finish 2020 Strong

By Carey Melton / Life & Culture

Picture it: a school in 2020. I dodged students as I sprinted to the bathroom where I had approximately 90 seconds before I had to join my virtual students’ Google Meet and welcome my in-person students with a smile. In a haste, I pull the toilet paper and only receive one square of it. “That’s not enough,” I thought. Pulling a little harder in hopes to get a few more turns out of the roll, my hand drops with—one square. I pull again. One square. Realizing how much time I’m wasting along with the crippling rage caused by ripping off one square at a time, I bust out in tears of anger and pure exhaustion. Yep, right there in the bathroom stall

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When You Don’t Love Your Kids’ Dreams

By Carey Melton / Motherhood

There is something to be said for a kid who knows what they want and won’t let it go. We all remember Ralphie from the timeless Christmas classic, “A Christmas Story,” and his infamous Red Ryder BB gun. We saw the joy it brought him and we rallied behind his dream of owning that gun. But we also saw how the adults in his life labeled his obsession as immaturity and a “little” dream. But it wasn’t little to him. With the humblest of intentions, we dream of our children growing up and living a comfortable American Dream life, and we decorate their nurseries with Hobby Lobby art that read phrases like “Dream big, little one” and “If you can dream it,

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