| The Grit and Grace Project

5 Tips for Mending Fences in Your Relationships

It’s a great time to begin mending fences. Not the ones in the back 40 of the ranch where very few of us currently live; I’m talking about the fences that require repair between us. We all experience damaged or broken relationships. Admittedly, some relationships are beyond repair, but most of the time, that’s not the case. So ask yourself, do you really want to be 90 years old, comfortable in your lift chair, and remember a relationship you once had? Pondering the friend you lost because of anger over something you can no longer recall? The sibling rivalry you never outgrew? Or the parent you walked away from? Probably not. So, how do you manage this repair process before the knees give […]

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How My Husband and I Survived My Affair

By Author Anonymous / Faith

“How did I get here? This can’t be happening,” these words raced across my mind as I sat in a room with our pastor and the seeming stranger I was married to. But there I was, a church-raised, young woman in the throes of a nasty adulterous mess… but my affair was what got us there. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I could slip so far or that divorce would seem like an obvious lifeline amidst the chaos. I so badly wanted to flee this moment of accountability, wanted to flee this marriage, and by doing so, escape the mess I had made. That summer, almost 11 years ago now, things had come to a head. But the

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You Can Turn Back to God, No Matter What—This Is Why

By Eve DeBardeleben Roebuck / Faith

When I stumble in my spiritual life, whether it’s a whole-hog wallow or just a baby toe in the dirt, my comeback is the same: I turn around and head home to the Father. And I receive his love and forgiveness. And then I head into the after-party. Pretty simple, really, regardless of whether it’s just a little trip or a full-on face plant. The Story of The Prodigal Son These pieces of coming back to God come right out of the best Bible story I know about restoring a broken relationship with God, the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. Since it’s familiar, I’ll briefly summarize: a younger son asks for his inheritance while his father is still alive,

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Grace Is Not Weakness; It Requires Strength

By Darlene Brock / Faith, Purpose

Defining Grace Grace is the anchor of our faith, the reason for the confidence we have in a God of mercy. It’s what is extended to us through a relationship with God established by the sacrifice of Christ. When we accept it from our Creator, it seems it should be such an easy thing to extend because he does it so magnificently. But for us to live our lives offering the same grace to others is anything but an easy task. Living a life of grace is very often misinterpreted. Some believe it’s an indicator of weakness. In the eyes of many, extending the truest form of grace, which is forgiveness, means giving up. Others believe grace is automatic and easy to

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How to Forgive a Friend Who Betrays You

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Faith

“You don’t even know us well enough to not like us,” I wanted to say in a smirky tone. I could tell from day one that the new computer teacher didn’t like me or my husband. He wouldn’t smile or joke around with us as he did with the other staff and faculty, and when I asked a question, he mumbled an answer without looking me in the eye. Baffled by an Unexpected Admission For twelve years, I wore a few different hats at a Christian boarding high school founded in 1924. I served as activities director; oversaw the publications, including the student newspaper; and coached an award-winning cheerleading squad. Michelle, who taught art, was my closest friend on staff. She was

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Easter, the Best Love Story Ever Told

By Darlene Brock / Faith

I sit this morning alone, watching as the sun crests the peak of my home. It is quiet, with a waterfall in the background and nature sounds playing their melody. I ponder the gravity of this season. It is once again Easter, the celebration of the best love story ever told. I am reminded of the week’s beginning. The triumphant entry of Jesus, in humility, seated upon a donkey as he arrives at the city of Jerusalem. Greeted as the conqueror, the expectations of those who lined the streets were high as they placed palm fronds before him, expressing their delight at his arrival. The same people who were there to laud his entry, within a few days, were absent from his

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Can You Get Past a Betrayal in Marriage?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Loving Wife’ Asked: How do you get past a betrayal in marriage? Dr. Zoe Answered: You didn’t specify what type of betrayal this is, so I’m going to guess that it’s probably one of the big ones—otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked the question. When the trust in your marriage has been destroyed, when the marriage covenant has been broken, you have two choices—stay and deal or leave and heal. Staying also requires a significant amount of healing if you’re going to do it in a healthy way. In staying, you have an amazing opportunity to heal together. The betrayed isn’t the only one hurt and damaged, so is the betrayer. Many people stay in a marriage after a big betrayal, but instead

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This Is What I Would Say to the Man Who Raped Me

By Caroline Beidler / HerStory, Faith

The cutting cold of the night numbed my cheek as I lay against a pillow of snow. My head was heavy—I could not lift it—but my eyes could still look around from my quiet place on the ground. No one. Silence. Maybe the faraway hum of traffic. Maybe a street light casting a yellow shadow on the parked cars. Maybe the taste of acidic peppermint in my mouth. I was glad to be alone. The crowd had become too suffocating. Someone’s parents were gone for the weekend, so a bunch of us decided to have an older brother buy alcohol. The one who smoked Camels and drove a Camaro. Boys in puffy coats sat around a kitchen table and played cards, and

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Forgiveness Came the Day I Befriended “The Other Woman”

By Adina Larson / HerStory, Relationships

Few other words strike up as many feelings as the word forgiveness. There are many opinions on what it means to forgive and how much gray area there is in the “forgetting” part that is often associated with forgiveness. This concept is one I have personally wrestled with for a few years now, and this is the story of my journey. My Husband Betrayed Me My ex-husband had an affair. The details of when and for how long are still a little blurry to me; but, nonetheless, it happened. I was able to figure out who “the other woman” was because, well—I knew her. We had only hung out one time with our families, but we were friends on social media after that

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My Parents’ Murder-Suicide and the Road to Forgiveness with Tracy Brandt – 208

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreHow do you forgive the unforgiveable? This week’s guest, Tracy Brandt, did just that after losing her parents to murder-suicide: Her father took her mother’s life, just before taking his own. Tracy joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to share details of the dysfunctional and tumultuous upbringing that preceded the loss of her parents. They fought often, held bitterness toward each other and seemed incapable of communicating in a healthy way. After learning the news, Tracy had no intention of forgiving her father. About a year later, however, she felt God place it on her heart. In this episode, she recalls the emotional back and forth she

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Forgiveness Is the Key to Living a Bitter-Free Life

By Amber Koehn / Faith

I have a lot of conversations with people in my job as an office administrator for my church. Most of the time, these conversations center around family and friends and sports and the weather—surface stuff. Every now and then, someone will walk into my office seeking council on a deeper level. Sometimes, I’m just a listening ear; other times, I’m asked to provide advice or weigh in with personal experience. And when this happens, 99% of the time the conversation is about forgiveness. Someone is hurt by someone else by either actions or words (or both), and they’re looking for answers or for a way to feel better. And in my experience, the person who is hurt rarely looks within themselves for

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You Will Heal When You Look at Forgiveness This Way | Our Grit and Grace Life

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Faith

We’re told that we should forgive those who have hurt us. But when the pain is so severe, are we expected to just forgive and forget? Hannah Cox, one of the writers for Grit and Grace Life, shares her thoughts on forgiveness as surrendering our feelings to God. She discusses what forgiveness isn’t, and how we can practically seek it in our lives. Read Hannah’s article on forgiveness here: You Will Heal When You Look at Forgiveness This Way

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The Complicated Heart – Loving Even When It Hurts With Sarah Mae – 149

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreSometimes the people who are supposed to love us the most hurt us the deepest. Wounds from dysfunctional relationships left untreated can cripple us for a lifetime. Sarah Mae, author of The Complicated Heart: Loving Even When It Hurts, joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to talk about healing. Having learned how to break the chains of hurt, she shares the complicated relationship she had with her mom, her pain after an abortion, and steps to finding lasting hope and change. In Sarah’s words: “If you’ve struggled with a difficult relationship, if you’ve felt torn-up and crazy and confused because of it, if you just want to

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How To Heal Emotionally After Hurt, Betrayal and Divorce

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Beijing_Mom’ Asked: My husband and I are in the process of a divorce after being married 20 yrs. I found out he was a porn addict and also that he had given me a STD from other sexual adventures. Lucky for me antibiotics could get rid of this one. The biggest hurt wasn’t the adultery but the years of self hate and anger that he projected onto me. We lived overseas so I couldn’t leave early with our children. The disdain, lack of intimacy, manipulation and anger I experienced from him has left me battered. I’ve been told maybe I have PTSD and I know something is wrong with me. I used to put all my faith in God and think the

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When to Remember and When to Forget (in Your Faith)

By Cherie Shaw / Faith

The third time is a charm they say. Well, I sure hope so. I’m tired of washing this same load of laundry, the load that is removed from my realm of remembering the minute it is finished, the load that becomes musty before I can manage to get it into the dryer. What in my life is so pressing that I cannot remember to move a load of washed laundry into the dryer, three times over? And I talk to myself like I’m a day-dreamy girl, “Get your head out of the clouds, little love! We have a lot to do!” The damp clothes finally make it to the dryer. They tumble with my woolen dryer balls sprinkled with lavender, and I

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When a Strong Woman Is Quitting, But Not Failing

Do You Want to Be an Overcomer? The Way Out Is Through

By Rachel Hagstrom / Purpose

I’m a sucker for a story about an “Overcomer.” I am a woman who is attracted to and allured by the tales of those who persevered in the face of adversity. The discovery of inner grit, finding hope amid hardship, grace mired in trials…these are the type of stories that ignite in me a deep love for humanity. During my adolescence and youth, I was told about the Overcomers: my relatives, both living and passed, who had “been through hell and high water.” The saying wasn’t figurative when it came to my grandma—one of the most resilient of my family—considering she had endured six floods in her life. To me, Gram was the most glamorous woman I had ever seen. She held

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Ask Dr. Zoe – I’ve Grown Up, Should I Apologize for My Immature Past?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Annie’ Asked: Hi Dr. Zoe, In the process of healing from my childhood trauma, I’m learning how disordered my actions were and how unhealthy my attachments were when I was in my late teens/early 20’s. I can see now more clearly where my behaviors came from but I can’t help but feel so ashamed of how I acted in my relationships with friends during that time. These people are no longer close friends but are still acquaintances via social media. There is a part of me that always wants to share with them how I’m sorry how I acted during that time and how I recognize ways where I was overly clingy or if I acted inappropriately, but I also don’t know

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