| The Grit and Grace Project

woman sitting on couch looking hopefully out the window ready with steps to move on

Ready to Move On? 4 Steps to Leave Brokenness Behind

I have some sweet friends who have family living in their office closet. It started a few years ago and has grown from one to two, and finally three. They often tease that there is no more room for another urn or sealed box. And I’m earnestly praying they don’t have to expand their relative’s memorial to another space. Recently, they shared that the closet was being emptied. Each loved one was going to their final resting place. And with each departure, I wondered if there wasn’t a sense of sadness mixed with perhaps a little relief. It can be hard to live waiting for the past to move on. Is Your Past or Pain Keeping You Hidden Away? I lived in […]

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God’s Strength is Found in the Hard Places

By Allison McCormick / Faith

The surgeries started in her early 20s, and for the next 10 years, 12 would follow. The scars on her abdomen ran from a few inches above her belly button to pelvic bone and from hip to hip. She often joked that it looked like a ship’s anchor. The surgeries had taken away her most precious dream, having a baby, and it left her confused about her future and purpose. Some 20 years later, another surgery. This time leaving scars that traced the outline of her breastbone and two, one that resembled a cross and the other appeared as a lopsided “X” just below her left rib cage. The scars from her past and these new additions were separated by a three-inch

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Infertility Is an Interruption, but Not the End

By Carey Melton / Life & Culture

When I was a little girl, I distinctly remember playing with my baby dolls and being their “Momma.” I gave them bottles, rocked them, changed diapers, put them down for night-night, and talked and sang to them…my babies even had a place at the dinner table. It all came second nature to me, and I never questioned whether or not this would be my reality one day. Why would I? No mom sees their little girl pretending to be Momma and stops her to say, “Now honey, there is a chance you won’t be able to have kids.” I know I’m not the only little girl who played Momma or house and assumed it would all happen in real life exactly as

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How to Wait With Grace During the Adoption Process

By Carey Melton / Motherhood, Best Of

Oh my goodness, it’s with tremendous humility that I write about adoption. To me, there is no greater honor than to have been chosen to adopt each of my babies. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would ever be giving insight or even be passionate about such a precious gift, I would have very enthusiastically said, “Never!” I have to confess that I love my comfort zones. It’s something I’ve always struggled with—making sure I adjust, adapt, and prepare in order to be comfortable. I thought that if something was “hard” then I must not be doing it right. This really started after my mom passed away. I began to take every relationship and situation in my life

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I’ll Never Forget the Time I Overshared at Church

When You’re Desperate to Know the Reason for Your Pain

By Kelsey Adam / Faith

Friends. I write this with a very heavy heart. Pain. Confusion. Rejection. I want to talk about all of that today. I am not here to make light of any situation. I am not here to try to bring perspective to your problems or circumstances. I will save that for a later day. I am here to say it is okay to be broken. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to feel confused. It is okay to ask questions. The Bible never promises us that once we give our life to Christ we will no longer deal with pain. The promise is not if you love God you will have more good things happen,

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This Is What Being a Surrogate Taught Me

By Jessica Girado / Motherhood, Best Of

“But in my opinion a mother isn’t born when a child is born. A mother and father are born when the dream of a child is conceived.” Lindsey Henke There I was, strapped to a table in the operating room waiting to meet two beautiful babies that were growing in my belly. I was nervous and anxious, not knowing what to expect. I had given birth five times before, but this experience was so very new to me. I needed a C-section, they said. It’s not how we expected the babies to arrive, but it was a joyful moment nonetheless. My husband held my right hand and the mother of the babies held my left one. She stood there with anticipation and

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How to Answer “When Will You Have Kids?” When Facing Infertility

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Life & Culture

‘Liz’ Asked: Dr. Zoe, My husband and I are infertile. People ask us a lot when we are going to have kids. While this question is often asked with good intentions, it’s a painful question for me, as I wanted kids, so I always struggle with how to answer. I’m a little tired of stumbling through a polite, but usually untrue answer. At this point, I feel tempted to be brutally honest with the next person who asks me. Maybe then they will feel the awkwardness I feel. What’s a good way to answer that question without walking away feeling both hurt and dishonest? Dr. Zoe Answered: I love how you say you’re tempted to be honest. Girl, be honest! First of

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Why Strong Women Can (and Should) Rebuild Their Lives with Molly Stillman – 125

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | More Women are so resilient. Even when we face challenges that could potentially take us out entirely, as is the case of our guest Molly Stillman, we tap into our deepest grit. With countless roles and seasons, we are continually reinventing and re-shifting. We give ourselves and others the necessary grace needed to gain strength and wisdom on the other side. Molly faced the death of her mother as a teen, found herself drowning in debilitating debt post-college, was a comedienne, weathered a toxic dating relationship, and then after marrying the true love of her life (and having two healthy kids) experienced the heartbreak of back-to-back pregnancy

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This Is What I’ve Learned 16 Years After My Miscarriage

This Is What I’ve Learned about Grieving My Miscarriage

By Melissa Solle / Life & Culture

17. This summer will mark 17 years ago that we suffered the unimaginable loss of a baby. Over time, the details have gotten somewhat fuzzy, but I do remember the significant physical and emotional hurt and pain of this late miscarriage. We were well into our 2nd trimester (around 17 weeks); friends and family knew we were expecting our third child—it was obvious since I was already showing quite a “baby bump.” I remember going into labor at home but not fully comprehending that that was what was happening to my body. After all, it was much too early for labor, I wasn’t even halfway done with this pregnancy. I remember knowing something was devastatingly wrong. I remember my husband trying to

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When God’s “No” Became My Best “Yes”

By Allison McCormick / HerStory, Faith

I sat on the edge of the exam table, a sheet draped over my lap, exam gown tied in the back. I was waiting for the doctor to enter the room. I needed him to tell me why I couldn’t get pregnant. It was difficult to understand—there were women all around me that just looked at their husbands and got pregnant. So many stories on the nightly news of babies being found in dumpsters, abandoned in the cold, young women ending their babies’ journeys out of convenience. What was wrong with me? I wrestled with my emotions and if I am completely honest, I was angry. Mad at myself for failing to be a real woman and mad at God for not

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Can I Move on After Pregnancy Loss?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Pregnancy Loss’ Asked: I am currently dealing with a pregnancy loss. It is a blighted ovum and my body is just not catching up to what is happening. I am going back to the doctor to make final decisions at the end of the week. The problem is I still have pregnancy symptoms and because I haven’t physically miscarried yet, I just don’t feel like I am truly processing what is happening. To make things more complicated my husband is graduating from police academy (he has been gone for 6.5 months – only home on weekends) next week and then we may go away before he starts at his post the following week. While the distraction is helpful, it prolongs the process

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Help! My Mother Makes Infertility Even Harder

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘In Waiting’ Asked: As my husband and I dive deep into our 6th year of infertility we continue to struggle with an insensitive, narcissistic mother/mother-in-law. Going forward how do we not only manage our heartbreak, but our broken relationship with her as well? Dr. Zoe Answered: These are two very big issues! Your narcissistic mother-in-law is a continual part of your relationship and family life. Your infertility is a journey. You mentioned that your relationship with your mother-in-law is broken. I’m not surprised. It’s very hard to have an intact, healthy relationship with someone who is truly narcissistic. So for the purpose of the question, I will address your relationship with your mother-in-law in the context of your infertility. It’s often disappointing

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This Is Why the Hidden Scars of Miscarriage Are so Painful

By Britt LeBoeuf / Motherhood

I’ve experienced a pain that no mother ever wants to endure—an awful nightmare that came to life not just once, but twice in my journey to motherhood. I’m not sure why I was chosen to become a mother to two angels, or why my children were never allowed to know life outside of my womb. Even now, nearly three years later, I think about that question at least once per day. I question the existence of a God that would allow me to go through such pain and not allow a baby to meet his mother and father. Some say it is time for me to move on with my life and focus on the two beautiful children I do have here

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How to Flip the Script on Your Infertility Journey

By Frances M. Davis / Faith, Best Of

A quick Google search will tell you that one in eight couples struggle with infertility. I never imagined we would be one of them. And, once diagnosed, I never contemplated this leg of my life’s journey would take years. This is our fifth attempt at in vitro fertilization (IVF). The first was a canceled cycle, where my body didn’t respond to medication. In the second, we lost four embryos—three of them after they were transferred into my womb. The third cycle, like the first, was canceled. In the fourth, we were filled with hope at the prospects of our sole embryo. I was convinced we would defy the statistical odds. Instead, we got another negative pregnancy test. The disappointment has become familiar.

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When Others Minimize the Pain of Your Miscarriage

By Ashleigh Marie / Life & Culture, Motherhood

My husband and I have always been dreamers and planners. When we started dating, we dated with the intention of marriage being our end goal. We talked about life goals, dreams, that white picket fence, traveling plans, and of course, kids. We wanted children. Lots of them. Running around, playing. We wanted the chaos and the home filled with love and the laughter and the fun. Husband came from a big family (he is one of six) and I came from a large blended family (I am one of seven). But though our “plans” had children in them, the pressure of making sure we had “a plan” for when we wanted to start our family was there, loud and clear. I started

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My Road Through Infertility

By Bethany Moore / Faith

Like many women when they first get married I believed I would get pregnant easily. I started taking birth control at 25 for cramps, got married, and soon got off of them because we figured in a few years we’d have a baby. This was the next step if that was in your future, so we took it. My husband and I began the natural family planning method. I would diligently take my temperature every morning and then begin to chart it. Well, a year into that plan of action I realized that my diligence had lasted for a few months. I was terrible at it, pitiful at remembering every morning and was completely off my chart by halfway through the week.

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