Sex | Grit and Grace Life

Differing Sex Drives in Marriage: When He Wants More and You Don’t

Remember when you and your husband were in pre-marital counseling, starry-eyed and excited to begin your life together, and the counselor warned you that over time, you might have differing libidos and that it could present a problem in your marriage? Oh wait—that didn’t happen, did it? No one warns us about that. Libido: Desire For Sex Libido is defined as the desire for sex. This is influenced by a myriad of things over the course of a marriage: stress, pregnancy, differing schedules, hormones, and psychological and social factors. Some women think: This is just the way I am. I don’t have a high sex drive. And they stop there in frustration. But it’s not that simple. All behavior makes sense in […]

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Ask Dr. Zoe – My Teen Is Sexually Confused—How Can I Talk to Her?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Very Concerned Dad’ asked: Please help. I’m religious and my wife kinda is. Our just-turned 13-year-old daughter had a crush last year on a girl and also thought she was trans—not fun. She’s not trans and realizes that now. She was manipulated/indoctrinated at an independent, Catholic school that felt we should change pronouns. My wife and I were able to get through that. However, she has feelings about girls and boys and I’m trying to help her. Today, I got an alert that she was looking up her girl crush (an older student) online, so I need to talk to her tonight. Any advice about sexuality that I can share with her? I’m just so darn lost and not getting any help

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Unplanned Pregnancy—the Tale of Two Girls

By Darlene Brock / Life & Culture

I was a teen in the early years of Roe v. Wade when a significant cultural change began. I don’t think we realized then how much impact a decision made by seven Justices of the Supreme Court would have on our lives. Pregnancy wasn’t ever present in our minds, but it was something we were trying to avoid, often rather ineffectively, given this was also the era of “free love.” In those years, an unplanned pregnancy had even more impact on a female’s life than it does today. Girls were labeled, often looked down upon, which didn’t make a lot of sense since they were not alone in their activity. They merely experienced the possible consequences that many others risked. It was

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Ask Dr. Zoe – I’m Disappointed My Teen Daughter Is Having Sex. What Should I Say to Her?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Sister’ asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, My 20-year-old teen daughter is having sex. She lost her virginity at 17 1/2 years old. She is now on her fourth boyfriend and I believe is having sex with him, meaning she has had sex with four boys now. I’m a Christian woman and had high expectations, so when she lost her virginity, I was so broken. And when she recently told me she had sex with the last two boyfriends, I couldn’t believe it. And now I’m sure she’s having sex with her new boyfriend. father knows about the first boy she was with but not the rest. He would be so hurt as a father. She is our only daughter and we have always

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The Good Christian Girl Who Struggled With Porn

By Jessica Harris / Faith

I was 13 when I found pornography. Understand my family was super conservative. I was raised in the church. My mom and I never had the talk. I’m almost 32, and we still haven’t had the talk. The most I knew about sex was that it was something my public school classmates were starting to do, it was all boys thought about, and God didn’t want me to have it. That was the extent of my knowledge, until the day I was researching for school and came upon a porn video. I’ve always been a learner. I like exploring new things and learning new information. Finding the porn video, as graphic as it was, felt like a clue in my life’s quest to

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You Need to Talk to Your Teen Girl About Sex, Here’s How to Do It

By Dr. Zoe / Motherhood, Featured

Are you that mom who would rather stick an icepick through your eye than talk to your teen girl about sex (seriously, it doesn’t have to be that bad!)? Or maybe the idea of sex conversations makes you squirm a little. We need to talk, girlfriend! First, let’s talk about why you need to have the conversations. Notice I said conversations. This really should be an ongoing conversation that starts in preschool. But if you are behind the 8 ball, and even if you fear that your daughter may have already had sex, take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. It’s time to talk. The reason why research has demonstrated that abstinence programs have not been successful (teens who participate in

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Ask Dr. Zoe – I Have Low Sex Drive—What’s Wrong?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Sexless in Seattle’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, For most of my adult life I’ve struggled with not being interested in sex having a low sex drive. I’m not a victim of sexual assault or abuse, I’ve just never had much interest. This is a struggle I’ve kept to myself due to hearing comments from people like, “I’d kill myself if I didn’t like sex.” I’ve been with my husband for seven years (married for almost two), and he is so patient and kind with me. I wish it could be enjoyable, but I don’t know what to do! Help! Dr. Zoe Answered: You are not alone. Despite our sex-crazed culture, there are others who struggle with low sex drive as well. It

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How and When Do I Tell My Man I Have an STI?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Dreading This Scary Conversation’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, I recently found out that I have an STI, and I am devastated. I made decisions in the past that I am not proud of, but over the past couple of years, I’ve changed my lifestyle dramatically. Unfortunately, there have been some lingering effects from my past, including a sexually transmitted disease. One of my biggest fears about this is that I just got into a relationship with someone I’m really excited about, but we’ve only been dating for a couple of months. Although we are not sexually active and hold similar beliefs on wanting to save that for marriage now, I do think it’s something that I need to share with him, but

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If You Wait for Marriage, Will Your Sex Life Be Boring?

By Dr. Zoe / Relationships

So, a client got me thinking. He was discussing waiting until marriage to have sex. He expressed his respect for that choice, but also his concern as a dating, single male. He said, “What if I marry her and then find out that we are not sexually compatible?” I can certainly understand his concern. Some people would say if you have never had sex before, you won’t know any difference, and it won’t matter. But the majority of people who are abstinent are re-committing to abstinence (some coming out of marriages). They’ve had prior sexual experiences and are worried about sexual compatibility because, well, they actually will know the difference. Should You Wait for Marriage to Have Sex? So, I decided to do some research into this issue, realizing it

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The Reality of STDs: Hard Conversations You Need to Have

By Darlene Brock / Health & Beauty, Best Of, Relationships

There truly are some conversations we would much rather avoid. The ones that create angst in both the discussion starter and the recipient, whose terrified expression is begging you not to continue! An honest talk about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) has to be in life’s top five! This is definitely not sunny chatter over the dinner table, or light banter with the store clerk like you’re talking about the fair weather. But the reality is that our current societal statistics require us to have these talks. We absolutely must have them with our children. We absolutely must have them with our dating partner. Today’s studies tell us 1 in 4 females between the age of 15 and 24 have an STD*, currently a full

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Are There Biblical Guidelines for Sex and Dating? with Kat Harris – 202

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreIn this episode, we’re talking about sex! There’s a lot of talk about sex in our culture today—in fact, nearly every part of our day-to-day experience is saturated with it. But are there biblical guidelines for sex? How can Christians, or women of faith, view or take part in sex, especially as it pertains to our relationships and dating? Author and blogger Kat Harris specializes in this conversation. She joins Darlene and Julie this week to address the long-held notion that sexuality is sinful. She shares what the Bible has to say about sex, intimacy, love and pleasure outside of just procreation. Kat will tell you that

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Talking to Your Teens About the Grey Area

By Amy Saxby / Motherhood, Best Of

The Grey Area. It’s not black and white. It’s blurry. It’s the place in dating relationships that nobody talks about. While they may not act like it, our teenagers find safety in boundaries, and they want direction in defining them. As you know, it’s all too common that a variety of media platforms inform and shape our teenagers’ perspectives of what dating and marriage should look like. How do we step into this? Teenagers Want to Talk About the Grey Areas This past fall, a good friend of mine and I asked a group of high school girls if they would be interested in discussing these tricky topics. The group of girls consisted of about 12 high school juniors and seniors. We were delighted and

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This Is Why Christians Need to Talk About Sex

By Ashley Chesnut / Faith

As a little girl, I didn’t grow up dreaming about the day I’d write a book about women, sexuality, and sexual sin. (Who does?) As a kid, I didn’t want to talk to my own mom about puberty, much less talk to anyone else about sexuality and God’s design for our bodies! But God set me on a trajectory I never anticipated when, as a seminary student, He led me to disciple a group of college freshman. Christians Need to Talk About Sex For all four years of their undergraduate studies, we met weekly to study the Bible, pray, and share with one another, and as I built relationships with them outside of our weekly study, they began telling me about their

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An Intimate Look at Your Sex Life With Dr. Miller OB-GYN – 135

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | More It’s time to get “down and dirty,” or, in other words, have an honest discussion about sex! We’ve brought Dr. Holly Miller (board-certified OB-GYN) back to the show for a real conversation about sexual and reproductive health. Darlene and Julie ask questions you might secretly be wondering and are perhaps even afraid to ask your GYN. So, ladies, we’re “going there,” with questions like: -How do you know if you’re ready to have sex with your partner? -How do you talk about his (or your) STI? -Should intercourse have pain? What do you do if it does? -How do different contraceptives work? -Do you have low

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Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask Your OB-GYN Answered by Dr. Holly Miller – 119

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | More In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, we chat with Dr. Holly Miller on women’s health issues you need to know about but are probably too embarrassed to ask. Dr. Miller is a board certified OB-GYN, wife of 20+ years, mother of four, and dedicated to ensuring you know everything you need to about your feminine health. This episode is filled with questions that women tend to run from… When do we see a gynecologist? Why do we see gynecologist? Do we have to see gynecologist? And the biggest question, why are we terrified of seeing a gynecologist? It’s our goal with this episode to

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If You Wait for Marriage, Will Your Sex Life Be Boring?

By Dr. Zoe / Best Of, Relationships

So, a client got me thinking. He was discussing waiting until marriage to have sex. He expressed his respect for that choice, but also his concern as a dating, single male. He said, “What if I marry her and then find out that we are not sexually compatible?” I can certainly understand his concern. Some people would say, well, if you have never had sex before, you won’t know any difference and it won’t matter. But the majority of people who are abstinent are re-committing to abstinence (some coming out of marriages). They’ve had prior sexual experiences and are worried about sexual compatibility because, well, they actually will know the difference. So, I decided to do some research into this issue, realizing it is one that many couples are facing. In part, the idea

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Great Sex—What Is It?

By Darlene Brock / Relationships, Best Of

There seems to be an unending list of articles on the subject of sex, from espousing general attitudes to detailing specific acts. Interesting though many of them are, I believe there is often one missing detail. The basis of great sex is not physical; it is relational. A satisfying sex life is based upon sharing your life and your heart, not just your bed. We have within us a quiet barometer, which, if listened to, will help us sort out truth from theory. There is an inner voice in all of us that speaks sometimes faintly, other times with urgency. It’s a voice we should listen to. When having sex for the first time, that voice will often speak to our fear,

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