Dr. Zoe Shaw, A Year of Self-Care

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Asked & Answered

Ask Dr. Zoe – My Teen Is Sexually Confused—How Can I Talk to Her?

‘Very Concerned Dad’ asked: Please help. I’m religious and my wife kinda is. Our just-turned 13-year-old daughter had a crush last year on a girl and also thought she was trans—not fun. She’s not trans and realizes that now. She was manipulated/indoctrinated at an independent, Catholic school that felt we should change pronouns. My wife and I were able to get through that. However, she has feelings about girls and boys and I’m trying to help her. Today, I got an alert that she was looking up her girl crush (an older student) online, so I need to talk to her tonight. Any advice about sexuality that I can share with her? I’m just so darn lost and not getting any help […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – I’m Disappointed My Teen Daughter Is Having Sex. What Should I Say to Her?

‘Sister’ asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, My 20-year-old teen daughter is having sex. She lost her virginity at 17 1/2 years old. She is now on her fourth boyfriend and I believe is having sex with him, meaning she has had sex with four boys now. I’m a Christian woman and had high expectations, so when she lost her virginity, I was so broken. And when she recently told me she had sex with the last two boyfriends, I couldn’t believe it. And now I’m sure she’s having sex with her new boyfriend. father knows about the first boy she was with but not the rest. He would be so hurt as a father. She is our only daughter and we have always […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Can I Find Time to Enjoy Life?

‘Samantha’ Asked: I don’t feel like I’m living the life I want to be. I work during the week (and I love my job so I’m not trying to find an alternative to a 9-5) but on my days off (weekends) I end up running errands and doing household chores. How do I live a more fulfilled life while still working a traditional job? Dr. Zoe Answered: The only way to live the life you want is intentionally. Your work is not your life. It’s the thing you do to pay for your life. Hopefully, you are passionate about your work. Even so, it’s important for you to separate the two and intentionally live out your other passions. As a busy, working […]

Ask Dr. Zoe -Why Do I Feel Anxious When I Hear About My Boyfriend’s Ex and Mother of His Daughter?

‘Crystal’ asked: Hello Dr. Zoe, Thank you so much for your time. I have only been dating my boyfriend for three months, and he has a 8-year-old little girl and co-parents the child with her mom (his ex-girlfriend). I haven’t met the mom yet, but I am taking my time and getting to know my boyfriend and also just getting to know his daughter on a couple outings. The mother has mentioned to my boyfriend that she would like to meet me as well. I told my boyfriend that I would pray about it and when I feel lead, I would look forward to meeting her. My boyfriend respected this and lovingly said whenever I am ready to meet her that I […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – My Boyfriend Hasn’t Proposed but Wants Me to Wear a Ring. Should I?

‘Darcy’ asked: My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 years. We don’t live together. He knows I’d like a commitment (at least engagement). I’m 50 years old and absolutely hate having a “boyfriend.” He talks about our future and says he wants to marry me, but always has a new timeline. He’s bought me a couple rings (not engagement and definitely not proposal) and says he wants me to wear a ring on my left hand at all times. I’ve expressed many times that I don’t understand why he won’t at least change his Facebook status to say he’s in a relationship. Honestly his status is irrelevant to me—I guess it’s more that I’m trying to prove a point to […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Get Over the Loss of a Parent I Never Knew?

‘Danielle’ asked: This is less a question and more so information-seeking. My biological dad passed away in a tragic drowning accident 28ish years ago when my mom was 6 months pregnant with me. I recently started therapy for unrelated reasons, but discovered in the process that my dad’s passing is a huge source of emotion for me. The problem is, I can’t find other people like me who lost a parent they never even knew. My therapist hasn’t met anyone like me either, so we’re trying to figure out what would even be helpful for me, because I don’t know what I’m feeling or why. Have you interacted with adult children of fathers who died when they were in utero? Do you […]

Ask Dr. Zoe-My Boyfriend Promises We’ll Get Married But Nothing Has Happened

‘Bianca’ asked: Hi Dr. Zoe, My girlfriend sent me your “when he hasn’t proposed” article and it really gave me some clarity, but I’m still having trouble sorting out my feelings. Because my boyfriend promises we’ll get married but nothing has happened. In February, it will be my two-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I’m sad he hasn’t proposed yet, and I have spoken to him more than once. He’s told me he’s making plans and wants to surprise me. I feel like I’ve been hearing that for 6 months. We’ve lived together for a year and I went through a job loss just after moving in together. He’s fully supported me & my 3 children until recently. I’m so torn because I while […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – I’m a Stay-at-Home Mom Who Never Gets Rest. What Do I Do?

‘Stressed, Tired Wife’ asked: I’m a stay-at-home mom who never gets rest. My husband is a firefighter, and I try really hard to ease his transition back from the fire station, but when he walks in, it is so hard for me not to hand him the baby and walk out. I ask him for some time to unwind or relax for myself, like a morning to sleep in, but he will end up sleeping in or finding something else that needs to be done as a reason why he can’t help out with the baby. I want to be kind, and I know I’m in control of my own emotions, but I’m so tired and frustrated at going unheard with pleas […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – Can You Get Past a Betrayal in Marriage?

‘Loving Wife’ Asked: How do you get past a betrayal in marriage? Dr. Zoe Answered: You didn’t specify what type of betrayal this is, so I’m going to guess that it’s probably one of the big ones—otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked the question. When the trust in your marriage has been destroyed, when the marriage covenant has been broken, you have two choices—stay and deal or leave and heal. Staying also requires a significant amount of healing if you’re going to do it in a healthy way. In staying, you have an amazing opportunity to heal together. The betrayed isn’t the only one hurt and damaged, so is the betrayer. Many people stay in a marriage after a big betrayal, but instead […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – I Have Low Sex Drive—What’s Wrong?

‘Sexless in Seattle’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, For most of my adult life I’ve struggled with not being interested in sex having a low sex drive. I’m not a victim of sexual assault or abuse, I’ve just never had much interest. This is a struggle I’ve kept to myself due to hearing comments from people like, “I’d kill myself if I didn’t like sex.” I’ve been with my husband for seven years (married for almost two), and he is so patient and kind with me. I wish it could be enjoyable, but I don’t know what to do! Help! Dr. Zoe Answered: You are not alone. Despite our sex-crazed culture, there are others who struggle with low sex drive as well. It […]

Dr. Zoe Shaw is a licensed psychotherapist, educated at UCLA and Pepperdine University. She has a private practice in sunny California and a virtual practice working with people all over the world! She is a motivational speaker, podcast host, life coach, and fitness fanatic.

Dr. Zoe is also a busy wife and mama of five, which fuels her desire to help women attain the elusive balance between work, life, self, and relationships through cultivating healthy minds and bodies. Her passion is to help women find their strength, embrace it, and share it with the world. But sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself along the way!

Do you have a burning question about yourself, your relationships, or your parenting? Send it in, and Dr. Zoe will give you spot-on advice as a life and relationship expert. But don’t worry, she’ll balance her honest answers with grit and grace.

DISCLAIMER: Not all questions will be answered. Due to volume, your question may be used at a later date. This website and its content (including any information provided by users) is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, financial, legal, or other advice. The Company Parties (defined below) make no representations or warranties and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning any treatment or action by any person following the information offered or provided within or through the website. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional or medical advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.
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