‘Over Feeling Overwhelmed’ Asked: Dr. Zoe, Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I just want to give up. There have been things in my life (like chronic illness) that have helped me develop more grit. I now know that I can keep going if I have to, but my first reaction to feeling overwhelmed is usually wanting to quit (if possible). It’s like I just want to escape. I have learned a couple things, like telling myself if I have gotten through the things I’ve gotten through, then I can do this, too. Also, reminding myself to chunk things down into smaller steps helps. I think I see the big, overwhelming thing and feel like it’s impossible to figure out… so just doing one …

Ask Dr. Zoe – What Steps Can I Take to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed? Read More »

‘Jan’ Asked: How do I even begin to connect with my teen stepdaughter? She is 15-years-old and disrespectful to her mom and me… Having already raised five of my own, I don’t have much patience for her entitlement and laziness. She is involved in many activities like show choir and cheerleading but truly her attitude is horrid… I understand life is not easy and she wants to fit in… The only time she is nice is when she wants me to buy her something. Her mom doesn’t know what to do with her and often gives in because she doesn’t want to fight. My husband has severe health issues and is firm, but quiet… So then she just stays in her room. …

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Can I Connect More With My Teen Stepdaughter? Read More »

‘Samantha’ Asked: I don’t feel like I’m living the life I want to be. I work during the week (and I love my job so I’m not trying to find an alternative to a 9-5) but on my days off (weekends) I end up running errands and doing household chores. How do I live a more fulfilled life while still working a traditional job? Dr. Zoe Answered: The only way to live the life you want is intentionally. Your work is not your life. It’s the thing you do to pay for your life. Hopefully, you are passionate about your work. Even so, it’s important for you to separate the two and intentionally live out your other passions. As a busy, working …

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Can I Find Time to Enjoy Life? Read More »

‘Languishing in London’ asked: Hi Dr. Zoe, I am currently in an unfortunate (self-induced) situation and am in need of clarity. I have a difficult decision I must make, one in which will affect several people’s lives in a hurtful way— regardless which path I take. With that, I will dive in. I have been in the same committed relationship practically my entire adult life. We have two children together and the youngest will be 19 this year. The word committed is used loosely here. We have not been good to each other in different ways. I have been unfaithful and he is unwilling to meet me halfway in terms of our financial wellbeing. I remain fiscally responsible for the lion’s share …

Ask Dr. Zoe – Should I Stay in My Marriage at the Cost of My Happiness? Read More »

‘Struggling to Lead My Kids’ asked: Hi, Dr. Zoe, I have a 5- and 3-year-old and I already see how my kids run me over in a lot of ways. They listen to their dad and respect him much more than me. When it’s just me at home with them, they speak to me and treat me much differently (worse) than when he’s around. I wonder if it’s partly because they’re more comfortable with me since I’m always home with them. But I’m also sure a lot of this is because I struggle with saying no and sticking to boundaries. I’ve always been more of a follower than a leader, and I see my struggle to be a strong leader of my …

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Can I Parent with More Authority? Read More »

‘Want a Promotion’ Asked: One of my goals for this year is to get a promotion. What’s the number one thing I can do to get noticed at work and prove to my boss he should promote me? I hate talking about myself but I know I’m good at my job and I’m valued in the workplace. Dr. Zoe Answered: I love working with women to help them get promotions! What better time than the new year to go after that promotion! There isn’t just one main thing that can lead to the promotion of your dreams. It’s a combination of things. So, I will give you the top ones: The most important thing to understand is that your value at work …

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Can I Get a Promotion at Work? Read More »

‘Sexless in Seattle’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, For most of my adult life I’ve struggled with not being interested in sex. I’m not a victim of sexual assault or abuse, I’ve just never had much interest. This is a struggle I’ve kept to myself due to hearing comments from people like, “I’d kill myself if I didn’t like sex.” I’ve been with my husband for seven years (married for almost two), and he is so patient and kind with me. I wish it could be enjoyable, but I don’t know what to do! Help! Dr. Zoe Answered: You are not alone. Despite our sex-crazed culture, there are others who struggle with this issue as well. It actually wouldn’t be an issue at …

Ask Dr. Zoe – I Don’t Desire Sex—What’s Wrong? Read More »

‘Leaving the Past Behind’ Asked: Last year was emotionally draining, and I’m afraid I will carry all the stress, anxiety and tension into this year. Is there anything I can do to leave the past behind me and start fresh? Dr. Zoe Answered: Whenever someone says to me that they are worried, fearful or unsure about what they will choose to do in the future, I always stop them mid-sentence. I don’t even want to hear the rest—so stop! You are the only person in this world who controls you. You can hope and worry and wonder about everyone else’s behavior in this world except your own. You get to choose your own thoughts, behaviors, actions and ultimately your life. When you …

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Leave Last Year Behind and Start Fresh? Read More »

‘Concerned but Hopeful’ Asked: Dr. Zoe, As a mother and grandmother, I feel we are in uncharted territory in our culture. The innocence of children seems to be robbed from them in the world they live in, through every medium and outside influence they encounter. I believe that we can not nor should escape the culture in which we live, isolating ourselves from everyone that we disagree. But how do we as parents and grandparents protect while we prepare this young generation? How do we help them develop standards and integrity while instilling compassion and understanding within them? I think most mothers and grandmothers could sure use some guidance. Dr. Zoe Answered: I’m glad to hear that you are hopeful. Our children …

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do We Teach Our Kids Compassion in a Culture So Divided? Read More »

‘Mother of 4’ Asked: Hello, I have been battling this for quite some time and just can’t seem to make a decision. My fiancé and stepfather to my children has a problem with everything my kids do, whether it’s coming down the stairs too hard, leaving pancake wrappers in the freezer with the other pancakes, not fully picking up after themselves, where they eat, if they leave little food crumbs on their desks, if their computers are too loud, if they are talking with their friends online and he can hear it, if they don’t say ‘hi’ or ‘bye’ etc… I’m literally going crazy. He doesn’t want to be their father but he wants to teach them how to be young men. …

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Defend My Kids from their Strict Stepfather? Read More »