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Dr. Zoe Shaw, A Year of Self-Care

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Asked & Answered

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Get Over the Loss of a Parent I Never Knew?

‘Danielle’ asked: This is less a question and more so information-seeking. My biological dad passed away in a tragic drowning accident 28ish years ago when my mom was 6 months pregnant with me. I recently started therapy for unrelated reasons, but discovered in the process that my dad’s passing is a huge source of emotion for me. The problem is, I can’t find other people like me who lost a parent they never even knew. My therapist hasn’t met anyone like me either, so we’re trying to figure out what would even be helpful for me, because I don’t know what I’m feeling or why. Have you interacted with adult children of fathers who died when they were in utero? Do you […]

Ask Dr. Zoe-My Boyfriend Promises We’ll Get Married But Nothing Has Happened

‘Bianca’ asked: Hi Dr. Zoe, My girlfriend sent me your “when he hasn’t proposed” article and it really gave me some clarity, but I’m still having trouble sorting out my feelings. Because my boyfriend promises we’ll get married but nothing has happened. In February, it will be my two-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I’m sad he hasn’t proposed yet, and I have spoken to him more than once. He’s told me he’s making plans and wants to surprise me. I feel like I’ve been hearing that for 6 months. We’ve lived together for a year and I went through a job loss just after moving in together. He’s fully supported me & my 3 children until recently. I’m so torn because I while […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – I’m a Stay-at-Home Mom Who Never Gets Rest. What Do I Do?

‘Stressed, Tired Wife’ asked: I’m a stay-at-home mom who never gets rest. My husband is a firefighter, and I try really hard to ease his transition back from the fire station, but when he walks in, it is so hard for me not to hand him the baby and walk out. I ask him for some time to unwind or relax for myself, like a morning to sleep in, but he will end up sleeping in or finding something else that needs to be done as a reason why he can’t help out with the baby. I want to be kind, and I know I’m in control of my own emotions, but I’m so tired and frustrated at going unheard with pleas […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – Can You Get Past a Betrayal in Marriage?

‘Loving Wife’ Asked: How do you get past a betrayal in marriage? Dr. Zoe Answered: You didn’t specify what type of betrayal this is, so I’m going to guess that it’s probably one of the big ones—otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked the question. When the trust in your marriage has been destroyed, when the marriage covenant has been broken, you have two choices—stay and deal or leave and heal. Staying also requires a significant amount of healing if you’re going to do it in a healthy way. In staying, you have an amazing opportunity to heal together. The betrayed isn’t the only one hurt and damaged, so is the betrayer. Many people stay in a marriage after a big betrayal, but instead […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – I Have Low Sex Drive—What’s Wrong?

‘Sexless in Seattle’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, For most of my adult life I’ve struggled with not being interested in sex having a low sex drive. I’m not a victim of sexual assault or abuse, I’ve just never had much interest. This is a struggle I’ve kept to myself due to hearing comments from people like, “I’d kill myself if I didn’t like sex.” I’ve been with my husband for seven years (married for almost two), and he is so patient and kind with me. I wish it could be enjoyable, but I don’t know what to do! Help! Dr. Zoe Answered: You are not alone. Despite our sex-crazed culture, there are others who struggle with low sex drive as well. It […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – Is He Unhappy in Marriage or Mid-Life Crisis?

‘Johanna’ Asked: How do I work on my marriage when my husband tells me everything in his life is in the air right now , he’s unhappy in marriage OR tells you “I’m sorry I’ve been living your life. You wanted kids and to get married, not me!” We’ve been together for 17 years now. How can I move on from that? I’m hurting right now. Dr. Zoe Answered: Your husband is going through something right now that’s making him question all of his choices in life. Unfortunately, that includes you and the kids, too. Maybe it’s true that he felt pressured to get married and have children. Maybe it’s actually that he’s unhappy in marriage, with how his life is turning […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – How and When Do I Tell My Man I Have an STI?

‘Dreading This Scary Conversation’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, I recently found out that I have an STI, and I am devastated. I made decisions in the past that I am not proud of, but over the past couple of years, I’ve changed my lifestyle dramatically. Unfortunately, there have been some lingering effects from my past, including a sexually transmitted disease. One of my biggest fears about this is that I just got into a relationship with someone I’m really excited about, but we’ve only been dating for a couple of months. Although we are not sexually active and hold similar beliefs on wanting to save that for marriage now, I do think it’s something that I need to share with him, but […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – How to Approach a Disconnected Husband

‘Dealing With My Disconnected Husband’ Asked: How do you approach your husband when he seems completely disconnected and like he has checked out? I have tried bringing it up in casual conversation with him so it doesn’t seem as though I am accusing or nagging, but he literally just ignores talking about it and says he just doesn’t want to be around people or talk about it. I need help on how to address this without pushing him away further! Loving and Worried Midwest Wife Dr. Zoe Answered: Hi Dealing With My Disconnected Husband, When your spouse is disconnected from you, it can feel like you are lost in a desert with no hope of water. You said that he doesn’t want […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – Should I Maintain a Friendship With Someone Who Keeps Pulling Away?

‘Frosty in Fort Worth’ Asked How to Maintain a Friendship: Hi Dr. Zoe, I have a cousin who is just over a year younger than me whom I have been close with since childhood. She was the person I would tell everything to, and I thought I was the same for her. Looking back now maybe it wasn’t quiet that balanced. As adults, we have the same friend group, go to the same church, and lived in the same house for some time. When I went through a difficult time emotionally and became very depressed, feelings were hurt, and we withdrew from each other. We didn’t speak to each other, except for the obligatory “hi” at family functions for two years, even […]

Ask Dr. Zoe – Can I Progress in My Relationship From Girlfriend to Wife?

‘Nurse Lauren’ Asked: Hello, I found the article you wrote about wanting a proposal and not getting it and how you shouldn’t feel bad about it just because you want to be married was really wonderful. There’s so much out there about oh you can’t make someone do something and you know you should just decide if you want them in your life and accept it and I just don’t think that’s really very fair. My specific question is regarding the four levels I’m just wanting to make sure that I’m not doing wifey things when I’m still in girlfriend status can you help me learn more about that. Dr. Zoe Answered: Women who find themselves stuck in a relationship phase are […]

Dr. Zoe Shaw is a licensed psychotherapist, educated at UCLA and Pepperdine University. She has a private practice in sunny California and a virtual practice working with people all over the world! She is a motivational speaker, podcast host, life coach, and fitness fanatic.

Dr. Zoe is also a busy wife and mama of five, which fuels her desire to help women attain the elusive balance between work, life, self, and relationships through cultivating healthy minds and bodies. Her passion is to help women find their strength, embrace it, and share it with the world. But sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself along the way!

Do you have a burning question about yourself, your relationships, or your parenting? Send it in, and Dr. Zoe will give you spot-on advice as a life and relationship expert. But don’t worry, she’ll balance her honest answers with grit and grace.

DISCLAIMER: Not all questions will be answered. Due to volume, your question may be used at a later date. This website and its content (including any information provided by users) is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, financial, legal, or other advice. The Company Parties (defined below) make no representations or warranties and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning any treatment or action by any person following the information offered or provided within or through the website. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional or medical advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.
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