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Welcome to Ask Dr. Zoe, where you ask the questions, and Dr. Zoe gives the answers!

Dr. Zoe Shaw is a licensed psychotherapist, educated at UCLA and Pepperdine University. She has a private practice in sunny California and a virtual practice working with people all over the world! She is a motivational speaker, podcast host, life coach, and fitness fanatic.

Dr. Zoe is also a busy wife and mama of five, which fuels her desire to help women attain the elusive balance between work, life, self, and relationships through cultivating healthy minds and bodies. Her passion is to help women find their strength, embrace it, and share it with the world. But sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself along the way!

Do you have a burning question about yourself, your relationships, or your parenting? Send it in, and Dr. Zoe will give you spot-on advice as a life and relationship expert. But don’t worry, she’ll balance her honest answers with grit and grace.

Read other articles written by Dr. Zoe or to learn more visit drzoeshaw.com

Asked & Answered

'Hoping to get Healthy' Asked: Lately, I've come to terms with the fact that I struggle with codependency. I still have some shame associated with that title but I'm ready to embrace it so I can overcome it! I had a very difficult childhood, and I don't know my Dad and

'Taylor' Asked: How do you make friends as an adult? Dr. Zoe Answered: No one tells us that it's so much harder to make friends as an adult than when you were a kid. Rest assured, you and a trillion other adults have the same problem. In adulthood, friendships tend to be pocketed, consisting

'Blessed at the Beach' Asked: I have been in counseling for postpartum depression and anxiety for about 9 months. I see myself making improvements in many areas, but I still struggle with anger when I am feeling especially anxious. I know that addressing the anxiety is the ultimate solution, but do

'Puzzled' Asked: I've become increasingly unhappy in my workplace (but not my position) due to a seriously unkind and hostile coworker. I've been pondering whether I should make a change but don't have another job secured as yet. Is it faith or foolishness to leave a job when one doesn't have

'Betrayed' Asked: I found out last year my husband of 25 years had been having an affair. He was a pastor when we first got married and we were teaching a Sunday-school class at the time he was having the affair. I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with

'Minny Mama' Asked: I have two friends in my mom group that are bickering/gossiping about each other to another friend in our group. I don’t like to get involved in gossip or other women’s drama. However, I feel that these women will each say I am not being a loyal friend.

'Alissa' Asked: After 5 years of staying home with my babies (now 5 and 2), I find myself constantly struggling between continuing to stay home and going back to work. I feel selfish that I miss my career so much but I am so afraid I won't be able to give

'Want a Promotion' Asked: One of my goals for 2019 is to get a promotion. What’s the number one thing I can do to get noticed at work and prove to my boss he should promote me? I hate talking about myself but I know I’m good at my job and

'Starting Over' Asked: After several years I realized I had surrendered myself to a man who was not committed to me. We never married, we have a child together whom I love dearly, but I finally came to understand that I was carrying the entire weight of keeping the family together. I

'Needing Girl Time' Asked: I want to make more time for friendships this year but I feel guilty leaving my husband and kids to do so—is it wrong to make regular girl time happen? How can I explain that I need it to my family without making them feel neglected? Dr. Zoe

'Leaving the Past Behind' Asked: Last year was emotionally draining and I’m afraid I will all the same "carry the stress, anxiety and tension" into this year. Is there anything I can do to leave the past behind me and start fresh? Dr. Zoe Answered: Whenever someone says to me that they are

'Sexless in Seattle' Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, For most of my adult life I’ve struggled with not being interested in sex. I’m not a victim of sexual assault or abuse, I’ve just never had much interest. This is a struggle I’ve kept to myself due to hearing comments from people like “I’d

'Sleepless Beauty' Asked: I have suffered from fear at night my whole life. I love sleeping, but falling asleep is the worst part for me. I’m always nervous that there is someone in my house, or will break in when I am sleeping. This has never actually happened to me in

'Balancing Busy Mama' Asked: I'm a single mom who works nearly full-time. I love my son, and I love my work, but sometimes it feels impossible to do it all. I find it hard to admit this to friends who don't work because they often want to answer it by saying

'Weighed Down Wife' Asked: How do you converse with your husband about an invasive mother? I found her one day in our bedroom changing our sheets, she has “cleaned” our bedroom without being asked, and puts things in our house where she feels they need to be. When brought up to

'Carol' Asked: I burned out and am changing careers mid-life. How can I assess my personality and joys to find a fulfilling new path? Dr. Zoe Answered: Carol, Good for you! You are doing what so many women dream of and regret not doing when they are older. It’s great that you are looking

'Mom of Three Boys' Asked: Hi there! As a mom with three boys (12-year-old twins, 9-year-old), how do I deal with the tween separation that boys do without taking it personally? And allow them their space after being super close with them. They used to be so chatty and fun and now

'Emotionally Charged' Asked: Is there such thing as being overly emotional? I hear this all the time by family members. I cry when I’m happy, anxious, scared, angry. I don’t have any explanation for why this is the emotion I am most prone to. Can you explain this? Dr. Zoe Answered: Emotionally Charged, We

'Dreading This Scary Conversation' Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, I recently found out that I have an STI, and I am devastated. I made decisions in the past that I am not proud of, but over the past couple of years, I’ve changed my lifestyle dramatically. Unfortunately, there have been some lingering effects

'Turmoil in Texas' Asked: My husband and I were married for 12 years. He cheated and we have been separated for the last four years and are now getting a divorce. I was very angry at him the first two years after we separated. Then, when my anger subsided and I

'Mama Llama' Asked: My 12-year-old male middle child gets very angry. He is belligerent and moody and verbally unkind to his immediate family. What are some ways to handle this aggressive behavior? Dr. Zoe Answered: Hi Mama Llama, I have been a mama of a 12-year-old three times so far, and I know how

'Coping With Anxiety' Asked: I recently realized the extent to which I have struggled with anxiety all my life. What are some healthy, Biblical coping mechanisms I can use when anxiety and panic set in? Dr. Zoe Answered: Dear Coping With Anxiety, What I love about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that it is completely

'In Love With a Narcissist' Asked: How long do I stay in a marriage with a narcissist who continually emotionally and verbally abuses me? Can he be treated/healed through counseling? I love this man with all my heart and have since middle school. (I’m in my mid-forties.) I left and divorced

'Exhausted Juggler' Asked: I have frequent days that I feel as if I'm center stage juggling family, work, home life, the needs of every human in my life all dependent upon my next move with the entire audience waiting for me to drop the ball. I want to prove them wrong,

'Alexis' Asked: How do you love your foster child’s parents well even when you feel like they aren’t trying? Alexis Dr. Zoe Answered: Dear Alexis, When I am struggling with my feelings about someone’s behavior, I often remind myself that all behavior makes sense in its context. Just because I don’t understand why someone is

'Running Turtle' Asked: My marriage broke up about 7 months ago. In the last few days, we’ve been seriously discussing divorce. I’ve been grieving the last 7 months, but these conversations have brought on new, almost overwhelming waves of grief, how do I cope? Running Turtle Dr. Zoe Answered: Dear Running Turtle, I'm glad you

'Worship Band' Asked: I sing in the worship band at my church. I was convinced to join by a friend who noticed me confidently singing all the words at practice. The leader agreed that I was a good fit. Fast forward two years and I'm still singing about once per month

'Faith Over Fear' Asked: I have been asked by several of my girlfriends who have watched me struggle, and somehow survive, “How do you deal with disappointment?” I don’t have the answers. And if I did, I would be selling it online in mass quantities for all my fellow stressed out warrior

'Dating a Recovering Addict' Asked: I have a friend who is getting serious with someone who’s a former addict. He has been through rehab more than once, but this last time seems to have been successful. He’s healthy and dedicated to his long-term recovery. I want to be supportive of my

'Stepmom Wanting to Do the Best for Her Crew' Asked: I find, like most siblings, that in a family that has children from two households, there is a love-hate between them. However, I have noticed jealousy in the child that is not with us full time. I am sympathetic to the

'Frazzled Florida Friend' Asked: Friends come and go and we all know that, but, how do I know when it's time for me to let a friend go? What are my signs that this may be a toxic friendship that I need to let go of? Should I just let us

'Curious' Asked: I grew up as a missionary kid and was abused by my missionary father. Emotional, spiritual, physical. Every girl friend of mine had been sexually or physically abused. I've heard it all. Seen it all. I was depressed for years. I dealt with my pain. I've healed and forgiven.

'Dealing With My Disconnected Husband' Asked: How do you approach your husband when he seems completely disconnected and like he has checked out? I have tried bringing it up in casual conversation with him so it doesn’t seem as though I am accusing or nagging, but he literally just ignores talking

'A Mom Trying to Figure It Out' Asked: Blended Family Rules I seem to have a mess of questions lately. Most all revolve around my blended family where children are raised in two households. I would like to know how to thrive not only survive (surviving seems to be the best I

'Stuck in the Middle' Asked: How do my husband and I practically set boundaries with our parents who are each going through a separation/divorce? Both sets of parents are going through a break in their marriage and all four of them come to us to talk. It's affecting our mood, emotional

'Potential Worry-Wart' Asked:  What is "normal" anxiety and what crosses over into clinical? In my mid-20s, I experienced panic attacks and a couple years of moderate to severe anxiety and depression. Before then, I did not experience any of those things and believe I had “normal” mental health. There were life circumstances

Are you struggling with a lingering issue or life problem for which you can't seem to find an answer? Maybe it's something you're unsure of, and you're afraid to talk to your friends about it. Or, you've tried several ways to manage an issue, yet you're still stuck. You are not

Are you struggling with a lingering issue or life problem for which you can't seem to find an answer? Maybe you're confused about one of your relationships or perhaps it's a personal problem you're afraid to talk to your friends about. You are not alone. It's OK to seek advice, and

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