Anxiety

How do we combat anxiety? Advice from our resident therapists and real-life stories offer you steps to overcome your anxiety while acknowledging that it’s ok to seek help.

7 Ways to Get the Most Out of Now

7 Ways to Get the Most Out of Now

Change. It is a certainty. It never ceases to amaze me how life can completely change in the blink of an eye. It invigorates me and leaves me a little terrified at the same time. We often go about subconsciously believing that we will live forever—that time is always there. The mind is amazing how it can trick us in that way. But we rarely fully experience the present, even though it is the only thing that is certain about our time here on earth. Experiencing the sudden death of my father and the traumatic birth of my daughter (born with a rare genetic disorder) heightened my awareness of how life can turn on a dime. I’m sure many of you have had similar life curve balls. Yet, we know […]

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Representation Matters: Searching for Mental Health Support for People of Color

Representation Matters: Searching for Mental Health Support for People of Color

I was stunned when I read the news story. I remembered her winning Miss USA 2019, not because of her articulate answers or platform, but because her physical features mirrored my own. At the time, I was just beginning to embrace my curls and she proudly wore hers with confidence. As I read through the breaking news story, once again, I saw myself in Cheslie Kryst. Her struggle with anxiety and depression echoed my own. I rarely share about the time I sat, razor blade in hand, contemplating if I should live or die. Would anyone care if I were gone? Or the time I called my mom at 3 a.m. to pick up our infant son because I couldn’t have him

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feeling stressed out? 5 tips to stay calm

Feeling Stressed Out? Here Are 5 Tips to Stay Calm

What are the life events that can leave you stressed out or assessing your life as a whole? Presently for me, it’s the milestone birthday quickly headed my way. It has caused me to dwell on the concept of time and the warp speed at which it seems to be running. Based on recent conversations I’ve had with others on the cusp of milestones or new seasons, I know I’m not alone with this realization. It makes no difference if we’re referring to the actual seasons of the year, a particular age, or the seasons by which we categorize our lives (think of labels such as singlehood, parenthood, empty nester, divorce, illness, etc.). A by-product of living in our modern age are seasons that are fluid,

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profile of female airline attendant standing next to a plane with eyes closed remembering September 11

Remembering September 11: Overcoming Anxiety as an Aircrew

When I first started flying as a flight attendant, I was sent to New York as the last batch of attendants hired as JFK crew. My first day of flying? September 11, 2015. Joining one of the major airlines used during the terror attacks on that fateful day, my first day of work was to be a lesson in the necessary skill of overcoming anxiety as a flight attendant. When faithfulness triumphs over fear, true bravery is born. The flight crews who kept working in the air after those tragic crashes told us something with their lives: We must remain faithful to whatever it is we’re doing, despite our fears, or we might freeze. A Lasting Impact I was a new hire,

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Coping With Anxiety Biblically

‘Coping With Anxiety’ Asked: I recently realized the extent to which I have struggled with anxiety all my life. What are some healthy, Biblical coping mechanisms I can use when anxiety and panic set in? Dr. Zoe Answered: Dear Coping With Anxiety,   What I love about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is that it is completely Biblical. The Bible says, and modern CBT research has proven, that getting control over your thoughts is the best and most efficacious treatment for anxiety (and depression). The Bible tells us whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about those things and the God of peace will be with you

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To the Mom Lacking Self-Confidence: Do This

To the Mom Lacking Self-Confidence: Do This

To the woman lacking self-confidence, it can appear as though everyone around her is acing life with flying colors. She might tend to second-guess her decisions constantly. She often battles a distorted, negative view of herself. When she becomes a mom, her confidence levels soar one minute and then reach unprecedented lows the next if her self-worth depends on her parenting skills. I know because I am that woman. To All the Women Lacking Self-Confidence I’m probably the least qualified person to dish out advice regarding confidence (see the irony there!). As one all-too-familiar with the aforementioned internal musings and mindsets, my self-confidence has been on shaky grounds for much of my adolescent and adult life. The same nervous way I’d present a

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Anxious? Looking for a Refuge?

Anxious? Looking for a Refuge?

I woke at 1:30 AM. Fully alert and rehashing the events from the previous day. I was angry, anxious, and agitated by people’s lack of integrity. Their unwillingness to be accountable for their actions and words. I choreographed responses, planned for the potential encounter, and waited for sleep to return. The bedside alarm clock measured the minutes: 2:30… 3:30… 3:45. When finally, my mind calmed enough to allow me to fall back to sleep. Waking again to the sound of our dog jumping off the bed, his ID tags acting as an alarm as they jingled against his collar. It was 5:20 AM and I gave up the notion of sleep. Once on my feet, I made my way to my office.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Leave Last Year Behind and Start Fresh?

‘Leaving the Past Behind’ Asked: Last year was emotionally draining, and I’m afraid I will carry all the stress, anxiety and tension into this year. Is there anything I can do to leave the past behind me and start fresh? Dr. Zoe Answered: Whenever someone says to me that they are worried, fearful or unsure about what they will choose to do in the future, I always stop them mid-sentence. I don’t even want to hear the rest—so stop! You are the only person in this world who controls you. You can hope and worry and wonder about everyone else’s behavior in this world except your own. You get to choose your own thoughts, behaviors, actions and ultimately your life. When you

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Tools You Need to Find Healing from PTSD

Tools You Need to Find Healing from PTSD

*Trigger Warning: This article mentions suicide and self-harm* I am no trained therapist, but I am also no stranger to trauma. A triad of trauma began in my life when I moved overseas as a missionary. Before two years on the field were over, my husband left me. The trauma of divorce. Abroad. Alone. My next boyfriend, a fellow English teacher working with me in Tokyo, struggled with mental illness. I found his body after he committed suicide. I would go on to my own unsuccessful suicide attempt and years of self-harm. My perspective of pain shifted even further when, years later, I was sexually assaulted as a flight attendant in a foreign country. All of this to say, I’m no licensed

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How to Feel Your Emotions in a Healthy Way With Dr. Zoe Shaw

How to Feel Your Emotions in a Healthy Way With Dr. Zoe Shaw

We’re likely to bounce between feelings of happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, exhaustion or any number of other emotions every day. Some are fickle, while others might not be so temporary. No matter which ones you experience, they are all normal and they deserve to be listened to. Where we often go wrong is in our reaction to those feelings—either lashing out at someone or making an impulsive decision we later regret. Even when we choose not to react by suppressing our emotions, we are entering into dangerous territory. Dr. Zoe Shaw is a licensed psychotherapist and regular contributor to Grit and Grace Life through articles and her advice column, Ask Dr. Zoe. She has also been a guest on several episodes of This

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2020 Is Full of Chaos What Is God Doing

In These Challenging Times, What if God Has a Purpose?

It seems that every conversation I find myself in has this sentiment as part of the discussion: “It’s been another crazy year, hasn’t it?” We seem to be looking at one another with disbelief, uncertainty, and discomfort. What do we do when we meet? What should (or shouldn’t) we say? Are we wearing masks, shaking hands, bumping elbows? Do we skate around the issues of injustice, destruction, hopelessness, and mankind divided, seemingly forced to take sides? Even saying “mankind” is currently taking a side. Are we mumbling through conversations because there is fear on every front—fear of misunderstanding or even harm? I step back from these encounters and think, “What is God doing?” In my lifetime, there have never been challenging times

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PTSD Threatened Our Love Story—Finding Help Saved It

PTSD Threatened Our Love Story—Finding Help Saved It

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) Near the end of 2007, a group of girlfriends and I took a trip to Hawaii. A few days later, I met my future husband in a restaurant that stood across from the iconic Waikiki Beach. The chords of a ukulele flavored that night. Sweet combinations of coconut-fragranced sunscreen and fried onions wafted through the restaurant, dulling the more pungent scents of sweat and spilled beer. A vibrant, three-dimensional painting of a “merman” hung on the wall behind me. Pete didn’t try to hit on me in a creepy way. Instead, he used humor—the gateway to my heart—and pointed to the painting while he referenced a line from the movie “Zoolander.” His back

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Ask Dr. Zoe — Going to Therapy Gives Me Anxiety, Please Help!

‘Sam’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, I’ve been in therapy for going on two years now. I get anxiety thinking about what I should talk to my therapist about. He is nice and helpful, but there’s a few things that he just doesn’t get about my life and sees differently. I like that he challenges me to think differently, but there are parts of my life that I think you just don’t understand unless you’re living them. Sometimes I get anxiety just thinking about what I should talk to him about. I feel like I’ve gotten better enough, but I worry that I’m just lying to myself.   I get anxiety thinking about what I should talk to my therapist about. Why have

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If You Deal With Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) Try These 4 Tips

If You Deal With Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) Try These 4 Tips

My husband, Montana, and I went to New York over the summer of 2021. We were celebrating our one-year anniversary of marriage and my recent graduation for my bachelor’s degree in journalism. On our first day, we sat in a local diner trying to plan out our week so we could soak in as much of the city as we could. I am the planner in the relationship, so I was on my phone searching for fun things to do so I could coordinate our itinerary for the week. Montana was fascinated with the busy vibes of the city and kept saying “Look at that!” or “Oh wow, look at that!” I was getting frustrated because I was focused on planning, and

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How to Find Peace and Purpose in an Out of Control World with Dr Zoe – 164

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Darlene Brock and Julie Bender call on licensed psychotherapist and life coach Dr. Zoe Shaw to find out how we can begin to find peace and purpose in a world we can’t control. It’s no secret that the world feels a bit crazy right now. With everything going on in politics and the news, it’s easy to feel anxious and overwhelmed in your personal life.  Rather than shrinking back, Dr. Zoe urges us to guard our minds and step into our strength and our convictions. She explains how we can better listen to others, refocus our energy out of the negative

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3 Ways to Face Your Worst Fears, and Overcome

3 Ways to Face Your Fears and Overcome

I’ve written a book several editors like (but won’t publish) about how dying is essential to the emotional, spiritual, and even sexual health of marriage, and how I discovered this during the multiple times my husband’s physical health made me face my fears regarding death. Here’s a brief laundry list of those times: Cancer at 23, when I was his 21-year-old almost wife. Heart attack at 38, when I was 36 and the mother of his four, young children. First of many heart stents in his late 40s when I was in my mid-40s. And then at 52, when I wasn’t quite 50, major heart surgery. A tiny little stroke and a carotid artery stent at 56, when I was 54. I’ve

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in a changing world we can rest assured that god remains the same

In a Changing World, We Can Rest Assured That God Remains the Same

It feels like we have been thrown to the bottom of life’s ocean by the circumstances that surround us. Unrest, political conflict, shifting truth, and polarization on virtually every subject have been hitting us from all sides, as if we are in an emotional tsunami without end. The feelings of uncertainty, fear, and even hopelessness ebb and flow weekly, even daily. We didn’t know it when the shift began in the spring of 2020, but the world as we have known it has been altered. I don’t see that becoming any less true in the days ahead. How to Find Hope When the World Seems Crazy Yet, I am not without hope. I have lived long enough to recognize God’s presence in

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