Self Care

Self care is a must for women but often so hard to accomplish. Here are great reads on why it matters & how to actually make it happen. #gritandgracelife

3 things to do when you feel broken and unlovable

3 Things to Do When You Feel Broken and Unlovable

How many of us can honestly say we’ve made it through life with no regrets? It seems almost inevitable that we’ll make some poor decision, say something wrong, or choose the wrong door at some point. But what do you do when it feels like your choices make you unlovable? Years ago, I sat on a hilltop in North Dakota with my then-boyfriend. I knew within hours of my plane landing that this relationship wasn’t going to work out. We weren’t connecting, and I had followed him all over his rain-soaked farm more like a lost duckling than an endearing girlfriend. As the wind whipped against the side of the truck, he stared out the windshield, tears welling in his eyes. I […]

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woman with hands clasped to her face in a therapist's office as an act of self-care when you've been cheated on

6 Essential Acts of Self-Care When You’ve Been Cheated On

Twenty-four hours after my husband brought me coffee in bed, slipped on his apron, and helped our young daughters execute the world’s best Mother’s Day omelet, he locked eyes with the woman who would become his affair partner. It was a regular Monday morning, and his steps were like clockwork. He’d leave home by 5:30 a.m. to drive into the city, park his truck, breeze through TSA, and enjoy coffee and a pastry in the lounge before walking toward his gate. His professional success had elevated his status to the highest tier on the airline, granting him automatic upgrades to business class, lie-down seats on his overseas flights, access to flagship lounges, and personal calls from airline personnel to let him know

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feeling stressed out? 5 tips to stay calm

Feeling Stressed Out? Here Are 5 Tips to Stay Calm

What are the life events that can leave you stressed out or assessing your life as a whole? Presently for me, it’s the milestone birthday quickly headed my way. It has caused me to dwell on the concept of time and the warp speed at which it seems to be running. Based on recent conversations I’ve had with others on the cusp of milestones or new seasons, I know I’m not alone with this realization. It makes no difference if we’re referring to the actual seasons of the year, a particular age, or the seasons by which we categorize our lives (think of labels such as singlehood, parenthood, empty nester, divorce, illness, etc.). A by-product of living in our modern age are seasons that are fluid,

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drinking excessively 8 healthier coping strategies for women

Drinking Excessively? Here Are 8 Healthier Coping Strategies for Women

This article was written collaboratively by Caroline Beidler and Lindsey Encinias. Did you know that one alcoholic beverage per day (five ounces—yes, that’s right, not even the size of a measuring cup) is considered “moderate drinking” for women? We didn’t either. Is cocktail hour coming a little early—like noon? Does “Momma social club” always offer drink options? Regular morning cocktails with brunch? Nightly wine (in that oversized glass) and Netflix? Is that drinking excessively? Maybe you can relate. Are Women Drinking Excessively These Days? Recent statistics show women are reaching for the bottle more than ever.1 According to researchers, women have increased their heavy drinking days by 41% in the last year.2 But the increase hasn’t just been since the pandemic. Since the early 2000s,

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4 Reasons Why Being Selfish Is Best for Everyone ORIG Hernan Sanchez

Is it Bad to be Selfish? 4 Reasons the Answer is No!

I was silent as the impassioned tone on the other end of the phone grew in volume. She named everything that overwhelmed her: the mounting bills and unyielding budget; the long afternoons with the young, napless kids; the at-home job that kept her working until the wee hours of the night; the lack of outside help and health issues creeping in. All of it was taking a massive toll on my friend. That place of feeling pulled, depleted, and drained was one in which I was familiar. While we brainstormed ways she could create more margin in her life, I suggested she devote a few hours each week to exercise at the gym while she took advantage of onsite childcare. “You could

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creating a wellness vision

Why You Need a Wellness Vision and Your Guide to Creating One

I don’t remember any watershed or lightbulb moments that first prompted me to take a more proactive stance on the state of my health and create a wellness vision. However, I do remember what happened when I made the solemn vow to start treating myself with a little more TLC: absolutely nothing. Zip, zilch, nada. Because when I made that pledge to myself, I imagined willpower would be enough to align my actions with my words and that my quest toward greater wellness would unfold in a buttoned-up linear fashion. Sure, it was a bit delusional to think that the process would be seamless and easy. Instead, I did the whole two-steps-forward-four-steps-back dance. (And later learned that all my back peddling, overanalyzing,

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Guit-Free Reasons to Say No

Tired? Overwhelmed? 4 Guilt-Free Reasons to Say No

Are you tired and overwhelmed? Distracted? Disappointed in yourself? Feeling used and used up? There is a good chance you’re saying “yes” to too many things and people. True, you have a part to play in life. False. You have to play every part in the play of life. It seems impossible to find guilt-free reasons to say no. Too many times, we try to do it all because somewhere along the way, we fell into the trap of believing if we’re not saying “yes,” then we’re selfish or lazy or replaceable or aren’t good enough. Author, Lysa TerKeurst, stated in her book, The Best Yes: “If I want things about my life to change, if I want to change the way

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Are You Grumpy or Just Neglecting Yourself?

Are You Grumpy or Just Neglecting Yourself?

I’m a moody person. I’ll admit that. But often, I feel grumpy, depressed, irritable or anxious. Are you grumpy too? Well, I find that the root cause of my negative mood is that I’ve actually been neglecting myself. Maybe you’re neglecting yourself too. It’s so easy as a stay-at-home, work-at-home mom to get so caught up in changing diapers, wiping up spills, mixing bottles, meeting deadlines, making phone calls, and kissing booboos that I neglect to take care of myself. And that makes me grumpy. Are You Neglecting Yourself? Here’s a Checklist to Find Out: Have you eaten something healthy? I tend to skip breakfast, and that leaves me feeling groggy and malnourished. Protein is super helpful when it comes to boosting

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God Led Me to Find Rest in Chautauqua

God Led Me to Find Rest in Chautauqua

I hadn’t really wanted to get up when the alarm went off, but I did because she’d asked me to come. This was the daughter who’d recently begun to like me again, and I wasn’t going to miss it. Josie Love was in art school for the summer and had invited me for her mid-summer show at Chautauqua. Our friends had a 100-year-old summer home just off the lake there and offered it to me during my visit. I had no idea what an offer it would be, except that I had the entire place to myself. Once I saw the sleeping porch on top of the house, I knew this was my choice for where I’d spend my time. The view

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The Grass Is Always Greener: Learn to Love Who You Are

The Grass Is Always Greener: Learning to Love Who You Are

I’m about to make a shocking statement. Are you ready? Women are so hard on themselves. We know this already, right? We’re expected to be a size 2 but cook like Paula Deen. We’re expected to keep the house clean, tend to the children, keep a steady stream of income, and meet all of society’s (unrealistic) ideals of feminine perfection. We have social media feeds to keep fresh, friends to impress, and a whole slew of fellow women we need to prove our adequacy to. (Side note: Friends you have to impress aren’t true friends.) The demands are real. And true to our nature, we often internalize most of the pressure. We take it upon ourselves to police our own actions and

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How to Take Back Your Time with Christy Wright – 166

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More “How do I find a work-life balance?” seems to be an eternal question, one we just keep circling back to as the to-do list grows longer. Whether it’s our jobs, homes, family or friends, there’s always something or someone who needs us. Life feels demanding and 24 hours in a day to get everything done just doesn’t cut it anymore. Author and speaker Christy Wright joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to offer her take on this question—and it has nothing to do with balance at all. Taking cues from her new book, “Take Back Your Time,” Christy discusses five ways

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teaching during covid is no joke but we can finish strong

Teaching During Covid Is No Joke, but We Can Finish Strong

Picture it: a school in 2021. Welcome signs and student artwork are replaced by Covid-19 warning posters. Full faces are replaced by masks revealing only the eyeballs and up. Physical bodies are replaced by foreheads or ceiling fans on a screen. Class sets of copies are replaced by scanning > saving as a pdf > downloading to your computer > then adding it to Google Classroom. All the while, we teachers are getting our in-person students started on their bell-ringer and signing onto the Google Meet with virtual students. We do all this with the same smile we started the year with, although now it’s a little forced. We click, talk, answer questions, pass out papers, and write on the board simultaneously!

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Wise Words for Women in Our Grit and Grace Life – 162

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreWith life traveling faster than we can keep up, many of us are facing storms that threaten to take our joy, sanity, and peace. What we all need right now are wise words for women to handle this grit and grace life. We don’t need a quippy cliché or a half-hearted platitude but real practical truths to apply as needed. To offer that, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender take to the mic to share six insights on life that benefit every woman. Since they are taking a recording break for a few months, they wanted to leave you with these hard-won

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

Behind Her Struggle With Alcohol With Lindsey Encinias – 161

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreIs social drinking just a glass of wine at dinner (the answer is yes), or can it become something else (the answer is also yes)? Current statistics show that many women find themselves in a struggle with alcohol, experiencing a significant upswing after the stress of 2020. With this knowledge in hand, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender interview Lindsey Encinias, writer for Grit and Grace, who bravely shares her battle overcoming alcoholism. In this personal story, she recounts contributing factors- her family history, the tragic loss of her father while she was a teenager, and wrestling with her identity after leaving an

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck Anymore – 160

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreLife ebbs and flows. Some days are filled with excitement and hope. Then there are others where you feel just plain “meh.” When the mundane feeling lingers beyond a few days, it’s time to ask yourself if you’ve become stagnant. Since we all face these emotional roadblocks, we wanted to tackle them. The first thing Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share is a simple way to determine if you’re in an actual rut. Then, if so, how to begin the battle forward, reminding you to give yourself much-needed grace as you determine why you’re feeling this way. Next, they suggest an exercise

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self care is a radical act of love for mommas

Self-Care Is an Act of Radical Love for Mommas

When I was six months pregnant with twins, I talked my husband into getting an L-shaped sectional as an act of self-care. My cute, little micro-suede sofa from my single life no longer cut it. I needed something heftier, sturdier—something to hold all of me up. After he said “yes” to my new couch, I was ecstatic because I knew my life was going to dramatically change. No longer did I have to twist and turn like a manatee on a rock. All of me (well, almost) could fit when lying down and I could even bring my extra favorite body pillows (yes, there were two) to wedge just below my tummy to hoist it up as I enjoyed eating all of

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

How To Make Self-Care Part of Your Life With Dr. Zoe Shaw – 155

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreSelf-care. Sound good? Or do you feel guilty even thinking about it? Perhaps it’s okay for someone else, but you don’t have time to take care of yourself? Dr. Zoe Shaw joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to explain what self-care is (and isn’t) and how it is an essential part of your grit and grace life. Society tells women, “you can do it all, and you have to,” but at what cost? Often, Christian women wonder if self-care is biblical, feeling they must always put others first, especially if they have a husband and/or children. Is this true? In her new

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