Friendship

As I scroll through my list of friend requests on social media, I usually ask myself the same questions: if my life was falling apart, could I call on this person? Would they drop everything and be over in a few minutes with a tasty meal or a listening ear or to watch my kids quick while I scream into a pillow? And the answer is almost always “no.” Today, I am “friends” with thousands of people, but I’ve never felt more alone. Why Is It So Easy to Make Friends as a Kid? When I was five years old and regularly wore a pink tutu or my beloved red cowgirl boots and pigtails, I met my soulmate. Her name was Crystal.

A few years ago I drove upstate to visit my best friend from college because she just had her first baby. At the time, I couldn’t help but ponder the milestones we’ve shared: graduations, weddings, fur-babies, careers, buying and selling homes, and now…motherhood! Our friendship has felt pretty special from the start, so it got me thinking about what it is that makes our relationship so life-giving… 9 Qualities That Make a Good Friend: 1. Someone who helps carry your load, but doesn’t make you feel like a burden. 2. Someone who knows your worst, but only sees your best. 3. Someone who never makes you feel small, no matter how big they are. 4. Someone who doesn’t flaunt, especially when they

We spend our lives learning how to make friends. In early childhood we learn to share and play nice. We introduce ourselves, smile big, try to do the right things, and hope they like us. In school we strive to fit in, to establish and keep friends. We do things to be cool and impress others—sometimes at the cost of our personal beliefs and feelings. In life, we all want to find our people and have a tight-knit group. I have made new friends through all phases of my life: as a child and young adult, at college, in my married life (and in my divorced life), in motherhood, in small groups at church, at work and at various events. I have

If you’re an introvert like me, you may not love parties. So, here are five simple tips to surviving the get-togethers that are sure to await us this season: 5 Steps to Survive a Party as an Introvert. 1. Bring a friend. If you’re an introvert, you’re probably familiar with this faithful crutch. 2. Make a friend. If you can’t bring a friend, make a friend! Just because we’re introverts, doesn’t mean we are unable to socialize. Most of us simply prefer small groups, or better yet, one-on-one conversations. So find a fellow wallflower and figure out what they’re passionate about. Once you discover a shared interest to discuss—you’re golden! 3. Take a break! Do you ever feel drained from smiling, nodding, and

It’s one thing to dream of neighbors gathering around your table when you have ample, decorated space, freshly cleaned bathrooms, and kids who keep their toys in their rooms and their crumbs on their plates. It’s a different kind of story when you’re renting a humble home with upside-down outlets. Unforgiving, flat-painted walls. Nicked linoleum. Then the dream gets turned round and round in your heart as you ask, “Why?” and “When?” and “How?” But the best dreams don’t wait for us to be ready. They meet us in boring, over-tired, spilled cheerios, right-now moments. When we feel most inadequate. When we most need hope. That’s where our family’s dream started. It’s also where it began to collect dust. If I could

What is a true friendship? I know, such a loaded question. Especially because as humans, we are constantly evolving, changing, growing, and morphing into newer, hopefully better, versions of ourselves. What I might have needed in a friendship in my 20s is profoundly different than what I need now as a 40-year-old woman. Some friends come and some friends go. Some friends are there for the mountaintops and others for the valley lows. Some friendships are seasonal, while others are lifelong. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned, both good and bad, through many types of friendship. Have a Safe Place, But Beware! I remember my younger days of chatting on the land line with a certain friend of mine. We were

Have you ever had that sick, anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach? The one that occurs when you know there’s a hard conversation you need to have with someone you don’t want to have it with? Or maybe they don’t want to have it with you. A misunderstanding has occurred—or even worse—they are heading down a road you know you can’t let them travel without at least having an honest discussion before they do. In reality, it’s the last thing you want to take on. A tooth extraction seems more pleasant. But one thing I do know is if there’s a conversation you’ve been avoiding, it’s usually the one you need to have. Nothing will change if you don’t deal with