Single

Life as a single woman can be challenging at times but also greatly fulfilling & purposeful. Here are helpful reads on how to thrive in all areas of singlehood. #gritandgracelife

3 things to do when you feel broken and unlovable

3 Things to Do When You Feel Broken and Unlovable

How many of us can honestly say we’ve made it through life with no regrets? It seems almost inevitable that we’ll make some poor decision, say something wrong, or choose the wrong door at some point. But what do you do when it feels like your choices make you unlovable? Years ago, I sat on a hilltop in North Dakota with my then-boyfriend. I knew within hours of my plane landing that this relationship wasn’t going to work out. We weren’t connecting, and I had followed him all over his rain-soaked farm more like a lost duckling than an endearing girlfriend. As the wind whipped against the side of the truck, he stared out the windshield, tears welling in his eyes. I […]

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How to Know if Your Boyfriend is a Charity Case

How to Know if Your Boyfriend is a Charity Case

Defining a Fixer  What is a “fixer”? A fixer is someone who feels best when helping others. If they see someone who is less fortunate, their first inclination is to try to remedy the situation. They have a keen sense of the unfairness in the world and strive to correct it. They will volunteer to help and are generally charitable people. If you recognize that you are a fixer, that’s great! It’s a wonderful quality to have. Fixers are nurturing, giving, and empathic. They often do a great amount of good, meaningful work in this world—think Mother Teresa and Ghandi. But unfortunately, many fixers expand that need to fix into their romantic relationships, causing devastation for all. Ask Yourself These to Know if

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Ask Dr. Zoe - How Do I Set Boundaries with My Invasive Mother-in-Law? feature image

Ask Dr. Zoe – Can I Progress in My Relationship From Girlfriend to Wife?

‘Nurse Lauren’ Asked: Hello, I found the article you wrote about wanting a proposal and not getting it and how you shouldn’t feel bad about it just because you want to be married was really wonderful. There’s so much out there about oh you can’t make someone do something and you know you should just decide if you want them in your life and accept it and I just don’t think that’s really very fair. My specific question is regarding the four levels I’m just wanting to make sure that I’m not doing wifey things when I’m still in girlfriend status can you help me learn more about that. Dr. Zoe Answered: Women who find themselves stuck in a relationship phase are

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To the single woman searching for true love

To the Single Woman Searching for True Love

After tossing and turning for an hour last night, I finally got out of bed and began reading an old journal. There’s something about looking back on the things that used to occupy my mind—things that are now resolved and long forgotten—that settles me. There was one journal entry that caused me to reach for my phone at 4 a.m. and text my best friend, the one person I can text in the wee hours of the night and not think twice about it. I read something that my 23-year-old self scribbled off the cuff… words of gratitude for my best friend and a prayer over her life. What a gift to experience a bond that remained and deepened over 10 years,

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For the Girl That's Single During the Holidays

For the Girl That’s Single During the Holidays

November through February marks perhaps the most dreaded season in the life of a woman who is single during the holidays. We kick off with family gatherings at Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving, and, without fail, as we go around the table listing what we’re thankful for some doey-eyed friend gazes lovingly at her new groom and says, “I’m thankful for my husband. He’s so amazing.” Then there’s the “plus one” you never have for the office Christmas party. The week spanning Christmas and New Year’s might as well be dubbed National Engagement Week as the social media feeds from countless friends will be filled with romantic carriage rides, kisses under the mistletoe, smooches at midnight, and shiny new rings. The new year brings

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5 Important Things to Discuss as a New Couple

5 Important Topics for New Couples to Discuss

Recently, I saw an article on a men’s website that shared what males thought they should talk about when they wanted to make a good impression on a date. There were four topics of conversation that these “Einsteins” believed worked best with women: pets, travel, movies, and food. Seriously, is that all some men think women are capable of discussing? Granted, they are trying to make a good impression, theoretically wanting a second date. But ladies, aren’t we a bit more interesting than that? Don’t we want more out of a relationship? Yes, most females have pets, enjoy travel, watch movies, and like to eat. But I think we need to come up with our own list. If it’s the first date,

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5 Must Ask Questions for a New Roommate

5 Must Ask Questions For a New Roommate

Maybe you’re about to get your dream apartment with your college besties or maybe you’re crossing your fingers and setting up house with people you’ve just met. Either way, new living situations call for some late-night Target runs (yay!) with your new roommate and a few uncomfortable, but necessary, conversations (boo). I’ve lived in multiple dorms, apartments, houses, and one trailer park, and over the years, I’ve learned a few things about how to start off on the right foot with new roommates. There are some pitfalls you’ll want to avoid and a few things you can do proactively to make home a happy and peaceful space for all of you. So text your future roommates, schedule a time to meet at

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Breaking Up Made Me a Strong Woman

How Breaking Up Made Me a Strong Woman

Once upon a time, I was in a five-year relationship. There were good times and bad times, but overall—it was just a lot of time. A lot of shared experiences. A lot of shared life. It was a devastating loss at the time, but, now, I’m so grateful for the experience because breaking up made me a strong woman. Yes, I was sad when we went our separate ways. But more than anything, I was so incredibly lost. I didn’t know what to do with my time. I didn’t even know what I liked to do. I had no idea who I was by myself. I wasn’t exactly a fan of feeling my emotional pain; what I really wanted to do was fast-forward

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Traveling Solo, How and Why You Need to Just Go for It

Traveling Solo: How and Why You Need to Just Go for It

My name is Anne and I have a problem: I suffer from wanderlust. I don’t know if I will ever be able to feed the inner monster that has an insatiable appetite to travel to new places—especially traveling solo. If you are single like me, trying to find a friend who can take time off work and has money for travel planned into their budget at the same time you do is tricky. Never fear! It can be done, and I definitely recommend it, but even if you cannot coordinate with a friend, don’t let that stop you from exploring on your own! Early in my adult working life, I found myself almost two years into a new job before I realized I

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5-Reasons-to-Love-Being-Single

5 Ways to Love Your Single Life

So a large majority of your friends are married and you are not. Do you celebrate because you dodged the bullet or do you pine because you hate being alone? Do you dread the next plus one event or do you land at the door ready to have a good time, with or without that extra human by your side? Being single is neither a malady nor a deficiency; it’s just a place in life. And it can be a really good place. Here are 5 ways to make sure you love your single life: 1. Don’t wait for life; live life. Remove the sentence, “I will (move, travel, buy a house, change careers) when I find that perfect (whatever that may be).”

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A Letter to All the Single Ladies: the Good, the Bad and How to Own It

A Letter to All the Single Ladies: the Good, the Bad and How to Own It

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) I’d like to tell you about my ex. I mean exes. I’d like to share a poignant account of my time being single, and how I survived a string of unhealthy relationships before resting firmly (and a bit unassured) in the coveted marriage and motherhood status.  I’d like to paint an atrocious picture of love gone wrong, of an incredibly insecure and trauma-ridden little girl who grew up to jump in bed with any old crack pot who wanted to be with her (and there were more than a few—God, I hope my kids never read this). Maybe I’d weave in some funny stories here and there—like the time I woke up on

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Single

Living the Single Life: How to Love It – 181

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreWe live in a culture that puts a lot of emphasis on romantic relationships. If we’re not dating or married, people assume that something must be wrong or we haven’t found the right person yet. But the truth is, being single (or not) is just simply where one may be in life. It does not define you. And for those who like to arrange dates for their single friends: just because they’re single doesn’t mean they’re available! Darlene Brock and Julie Bender sit down to unpack both the challenges and strengths of singlehood. They discuss the inherent value of being single, how

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trapped in a past relationship here's the best way to move on

Trapped in a Past Relationship? Here’s the Best Way to Move On

Treading the waters of the “single” world and learning to move on from a past relationship can be tough. I never imagined that I would be in my mid-30s, divorced and single. Let us throw in dating as a single mama of three. It seemed like such a daunting, impossible task. Until one day it wasn’t. I’ve spent the majority of the past few years focusing on my health, mental healing, and doing some deep soul work in order to grow. I realized that it’s hard to break away from a relationship because humans, by nature, are not meant to be alone. The pain we feel coming out of a relationship is often the result of looking to someone else to feel

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Ask Dr. Zoe - How Do I Set Boundaries with My Invasive Mother-in-Law? feature image

Ask Dr. Zoe – Is It My Fault He Hasn’t Proposed?

‘Ms Highly Favored’ Asked: My boyfriend of 5 years is an introvert. We live together. Going in this he knew I wanted to be married within 3 years. I have not met his children, he doesn’t take me around his family, and he gets upset when I want to talk about marriage or wedding date or proposal. He says it’s not a problem and he loves me, wants to marry me but I haven’t given him the chance to propose. Well, I feel like now at this point I don’t want to marry him because it feels like it would be fake. Dr. Zoe Answered: You’ve stayed two years too long. You have been together for five years and you have never

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7 Dating Tips for Successful Relationships

7 Dating Tips for Successful Relationships

Looking for a man worth your time? Here are a few tips that will help you avoid wasting time on Mr. What-Was-I-Thinking. 1. Make a man list. Every woman has a few non-negotiables. Write them down as your top “not going to settle for less than these” traits. Also add character traits that are important; those that will complement yours. Remember no man will meet all your criteria, but if you don’t know what you’re shopping for then you just might buy the wrong thing. 2. Relax. Dating should be an enjoyable, relationship-building exercise, not a pressure cooker ready to explode. Enjoy getting to know someone, without constantly second-guessing and being filled with insecurity. 3. Don’t lose you. If you have to become someone

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Divorce Was Not In the Plan TWO

Divorce Was Not in the Plan

I have walked alongside two ladies I dearly love as they were suffering the heartbreak of divorce. Their disappointment, disbelief, and pain were palpable in every breath they breathed. I know for them this was never the intention when marriage began. Truly, I don’t believe that anyone making this vow purposely, giving their whole heart as well as their all, believe this commitment will not last forever. The truth is the institution of marriage was designed for “till death do us part.” It was created as a life partnership, sharing every segment of this journey. Only ending when one of the “two shall become one” leaves this world. That is not only the intention of marriage, but it is by far the

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

How To Embrace Your Singleness and Thrive With Jessica Hutton – 146

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Single ladies, this one is for you! It seems that a lot of the content out there is focused on finding you a man! But we know that a strong woman doesn’t need to be in a relationship to have value. A healthy relationship can be a significant part of your life, but it’s not essential to living a full and rich life. So, we invited Jessica Hutton, author of Own Your Singleness, to bring a little insight into going beyond simply surviving your singleness, but thriving in it. Jessica introduces us to the 6-single-lady typologies and explains how you can

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