I began babysitting for my high school cheerleading coach, Toni, when I was about 14 years old. At that time, she had one boy, Carter, and was pregnant with Lauren. By the time I graduated high school she had three, beautiful children whom I loved and cared for as if they were my own little brothers and sister. Right before I went away for college, Toni asked me to go on vacation with her family and her brother’s family of four to help with the kids. I said yes, and we had a great time. However, on the very last night of our trip, something went terribly wrong… I woke up that last morning to someone nudging my shoulder and saying my […]

Sitting here with a bad sunburn after a day at the lake for Father’s Day, I can tell you one thing that has changed my life and my summers with my children: not caring about my size or what people will say when I slip off my bathing suit cover. I was 5 feet 5 inches tall and 95 pounds in high school. My mother was 5 feet 3 inches tall and 100 pounds, so I was a small girl. Back then I would lift weights to bulk out a little. All those wonderful kids I went to school with gave me the nickname ‘Toothpick.’ Oh, if they could see me now. I was skinny and never had a weight problem, but […]

Here at Grit and Grace Life, we want to take this opportunity to share the document that paved the road to the formation of The United States of America. The Declaration of Independence was written in July of 1776 by a group of men who fought valiantly against rulers who wanted to usurp authority over the forming nation. This document is worthy of review, and we do so in remembrance of the sacrifices made and challenges overcome by the brave husbands, women, and children of that day… The Declaration of Independence IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776. The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the […]

My husband and I were watching a singing competition the other night, and I noticed an interesting trend during the competitors’ interviews. Time after time, the contestants made similar claims. The reason they were standing there, taking a televised risk, was because of their father or father figure. For most, the influence of a positive male role model made a difference in their lives. It’s what made them a strong kid, promoting an overall confidence and a healthy self-esteem. The kind of confidence you need to pursue big dreams. This observation sparked a new curiosity within me. Why do fathers make such an impact? What is it about a dad’s role, specifically, that seems to almost make or break a child? While Grit […]

Decades ago, a good friend gave me advice I will never forget. I have often shared her words with other friends when they are struggling. She said, “That is Satan whispering in your ear. You have to tell him to get behind you. Tell him; say it out loud. He will whisper those doubts and negative thoughts to you, and you must rebuke him.” She also told me that the enemy hates us, hates our marriages, our families, hates everything that is created by God and everything we love. She reminded me that God loves us and is always at work within us. “God carries a picture of you in his wallet,” she told me. Knocked Down by Negative Self-Talk It can […]

Perseverance is one of those terms we learned in elementary school when it came time for the lesson about character traits. When we’re small, the sound of the word—not to mention the length of it, a whopping 12 letters—resounded in our minds. We imagined staying strong and pushing through difficult homework or a race during physical education class. As adults, perseverance takes on an entirely new meaning, and an entirely new concept of what it means to be strong in adversity. When life seems to be weighing on us just a little bit too much and we need a push to make it to the other side of whatever it may be, the Bible offers an ample number of verses for encouragement. […]

A wise friend once told me that before you get married, ask all the couples in your life whom you respect and have a marriage worth emulating what their best marriage advice to you would be. I thought this was quite brilliant, and I spent the months leading up to my wedding doing just that. My favorite words of wisdom came from my mother-in-law, Pam, who has been happily married for 40 years and who is involved in marriage ministry. She told me four simple words: “Weed your own garden.” Needing some elaboration, I asked her to explain. She said one of the biggest mistakes you can make in your marriage is to constantly focus on what is wrong with your spouse, on their […]

I have some sweet friends who have family living in their office closet. It started a few years ago and has grown from one to two, and finally three. They often tease that there is no more room for another urn or sealed box. And I’m earnestly praying they don’t have to expand their relative’s memorial to another space. Recently they shared that the closet was being emptied. Each loved one was going to their final resting place. And with each departure, I wondered if there wasn’t a sense of sadness mixed with perhaps a little relief. It can be hard to live waiting for the past to move on. Is Your Past or Pain Keeping You Hidden Away? I lived in […]

Are you that mom who would rather stick an icepick through your eye than talk to your teen girl about sex (seriously, it doesn’t have to be that bad!)? Or maybe the idea of sex conversations makes you squirm a little. We need to talk, girlfriend! First, let’s talk about why you need to have the conversations. Notice I said conversations. This really should be an ongoing conversation that starts in preschool. But if you are behind the 8 ball, and even if you fear that your daughter may have already had sex, take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. It’s time to talk. The reason why research has demonstrated that abstinence programs have not been successful (teens who participate in […]

Lately I’ve been feeling like a failure and I just can’t seem to shake it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been with my kids for six months straight and I literally can’t remember the last time the house was clean and quiet. Or maybe it’s because we’re smack in the middle of a pandemic and every single decision I make (or don’t make) has me questioning whether or not it’s the right one, and whether or not some crazy butterfly effect will take place six months down the road, where I’ll look back and realize I have done something terribly wrong. Either way, I just had to sit down and write about it because I have a feeling I’m not the only one, […]

My mom was an amazing woman who attended college at a time when not many women did—back in the early 40s. I am so grateful to have been raised by this strong-minded woman. She was determined that her three kids would learn a good work ethic, attend church, memorize scripture, and learn to love books. Our reward for helping her clean house every Saturday was a trip to the library. She was into health foods long before it became trendy. No potato chips, sugared cereals, or soft drinks in our home growing up, and we drank our fair share of home-crafted carrot juice. My mother did a lot of things right as a mom, but there were rarely any one-on-one mom/daughter times. […]

So you want to be a great mom. I’m sure there are some days you think the world expects you to be a perfect mom. Well, some people do expect that from you, those silly folks. They will also tell you that your child needs to tow the line with the expectations placed by the powers that be. But I’m telling you, no they do not. While we want to help our children grow up to be productive, loving, kind adults, we don’t want to force them into a one-size-fits-all little person. There are some things that the clamoring masses tell us we should deal with in our children that just aren’t true. The challenges you face with your little person may well be […]

A wise friend once told me that before you get married, ask all the couples in your life whom you respect and have a marriage worth emulating what their best marriage advice to you would be. I thought this was quite brilliant, and I spent the months leading up to my wedding doing just that. My favorite words of wisdom came from my mother-in-law, Pam, who has been happily married for 40 years and who is involved in marriage ministry. She told me four simple words: “Weed your own garden.” Needing some elaboration, I asked her to explain. She said one of the biggest mistakes you can make in your marriage is to constantly focus on what is wrong with your spouse, on their […]

When I stormed out of Jimmy’s apartment, mid-dinner on the Fourth of July, I left the peach and raspberry pie I had made behind. We’d spent the morning apart. I stayed at my apartment baking and thought he was sleeping late at his. Instead, he went water skiing with a mutual friend. I loved water skiing, and he knew it. I’d Gotten Used to His Selfishness at the Cost of My Self-Worth His ability to push me aside started to feel like a natural reflex. The missing sensitivity in him was made up by his family, so it took me a while to realize he was truly a jerk. There on his balcony, mid-bite into my hamburger, he bragged about his morning. […]

When you get married, you are not only marrying that person, but you are also marrying their family and their credit score. We love our significant others and we need money to survive, but how do we talk about our finances together? Do you know what kind of spending habits you are marrying into? Is the person you’re marrying a saver or a spender? Those questions are all things that need to be considered before the wedding bells ring. Being a financially savvy couple takes open communication and hard conversations to avoid marriage pitfalls. What Money Mindsets Do We Value in Our Relationships? According to the Jimenez Law Firm, “Money is widely known as one of the leading causes of divorce in […]

Looking for a man worth your time? Here are a few tips that will help you avoid wasting time on Mr. What-Was-I-Thinking. 1. Make a man list. Every woman has a few non-negotiables. Write them down as your top “not going to settle for less than these” traits. Also add character traits that are important; those that will complement yours. Remember no man will meet all your criteria, but if you don’t know what you’re shopping for then you just might buy the wrong thing. 2. Relax. Dating should be an enjoyable, relationship-building exercise, not a pressure cooker ready to explode. Enjoy getting to know someone, without constantly second-guessing and being filled with insecurity. 3. Don’t lose you. If you have to become someone […]

What have you always wanted to do? What do you dream about doing that you dismiss, put off, or tell yourself that it can’t happen now or you just have to wait until the time is right? Everyone has a dream. Everyone. I don’t care if you are 100 years old. I know you have one. If you think you don’t, you are lying to yourself. I’m just being honest here. I know that we are often too self-critical, but there are parts of our lives where we just flat out lie to ourselves, keeping us from living the life we were designed to live. Our words are the most powerful tool we humans have. So powerful that they can destroy generations—yes, […]

“Finding more balance” didn’t make it on my list of goals last year, but it’s near the top of my list this year. “Balance” is the oft-touted buzzword that can appear like an idealistic antidote to an overextended life. To create more balance in your life is the sought-after state of being that lies buried somewhere beneath our packed calendars, productive natures, and overstimulated selves. It’s the common prescription for what ails us, the ideal overall condition: “Stressed? Re-evaluate your work and life balance”…”High cholesterol? Try to maintain a balanced diet”…“Women should balance it all.” You can create more balance in your life! Though we may yearn for schedules and lifestyles that foster equal measures of work, play, and rest, the question […]

“The most powerful stories may be the ones we tell ourselves.” —Brené Brown¹ It wasn’t the loaves of homemade bread she’d bake for our family, the way she’d serve me Ovaltine in bed before school, nor the daily schlepping to swim practices and other after-school activities. These acts of devotion certainly made her a fantastic mother, but what earned her the title of “The World’s Greatest Mom” was largely due to the stories she told. With creativity and ease, her words flowed into dashing tales around similar themes. There was always a high-stakes rescue coupled with unassuming heroes who overcame weaknesses, flaws, and fears. Even though the settings, outlying characters, and storylines varied each time, the hero protagonists did not — they […]

I was silent as the impassioned tone on the other end of the phone grew in volume. She named everything that overwhelmed her: the mounting bills and unyielding budget; the long afternoons with the young, napless kids; the at-home job that kept her working until the wee hours of the night; the lack of outside help and health issues creeping in. All of it was taking a massive toll on my friend. That place of feeling pulled, depleted, and drained was one in which I was familiar. While we brainstormed ways she could create more margin in her life, I suggested she devote a few hours each week to exercise at the gym while she took advantage of onsite childcare. “You could […]