Are you in one of those seasons of life where it seems like any second your world is going to go spinning off its axis? Please, tell me I’m not alone in this! Are you feeling overwhelmed with all of the demands of this world? Do you feel like your tank is on empty and you’re running on fumes? If so, I’m right there with you, sister! You see, I’m one of those people that takes life head-on and plows through the problems that come my way. Usually. However, recent illness in my family—myself included—has made it significantly more difficult for me to navigate the stresses and pressures of life with my usual tenacity. I’m exhausted mentally and physically and several times […]

Thanksgiving became a national holiday at the height of the Civil War—a most unlikely time to set a day aside for reflection and proclamation of one’s thankfulness. Yet President Abraham Lincoln did exactly that. Indeed, he was a brave man to declare this celebration in a season that seemed to have very little to be thankful for. But what is often overlooked is the woman behind the effort to make this a holiday worth celebrating. As is often true in life there is a “behind the scenes” lady of persuasion, a humble yet determined crusader of a concept. Sarah Josepha Hale’s Pursuit of Education Sarah Josepha Hale was born in 1788 to Captain Gordon Buell and Martha Whittlesay Buell. Having been educated […]

I recently made the decision to begin searching for a van to purchase. With a growing family, my small SUV wasn’t working so well! However, I knew that in order to get what I wanted I would need to take out a loan. Then I began to consider my budget and exactly what I could afford without being stretched. That’s when I decided it was time to reassess my bills. Maybe it’s time you did the same thing. When evaluating your monthly bills and expenses: 1. Look at the bills that are not utilities. Typically there is car and homeowner insurance, home alarm, cable/internet, and home mortgage. Since we had been loyal with the various companies for several years and always paid on […]

Recently, I learned something that absolutely shocked me: the average American spends 90,000 hours at work over the course of their lifetime. That’s more than 10 whole years of your one and only life—at work! If you love your job, maybe that doesn’t seem like much of a sacrifice. But if you’re among the 70% of Americans who report being unhappy at work, that’s a whole lot of precious time wasted. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be that way. Imagine what it would be like to work for yourself. To set your own hours, work from home, earn an extra income for your family, and help people by using your gifts! Sound too good to be true? Well, […]

“And there were in the same country, shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not. For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord,’” (Luke 2:8-14). This memorable verse from Luke—which Linus proudly recites in A Charlie Brown Christmas to explain the true meaning of the holiday—states clearly where we are to find our greatest joy. It’s easy to […]

Most people would generally agree that while related, joy and happiness are two different things. Happiness tends to be dependent on external factors, such as events, circumstances, people, places, and possessions. On the other hand, joy is something we cultivate internally. It runs much deeper than happiness, reaching into the very core of who we are. It is an enduring state of being that remains even when circumstances change. Ultimately, God is both the source and sustainer of all joy. But we must still do our part. As I have studied joy over recent months and what it means to me, I’ve identified the following six areas that help me cultivate joy in my own life. It is my prayer that they […]

“You mean we drove all the way down here for nothing?” the couple asked. I was in the volunteer check-in line for the annual Thanksgiving dinner hosted by the Salvation Army in Tucson. The man and woman in front of me were clearly annoyed. They were told that, because of a glitch in the computer system, if they hadn’t received confirmation when they registered online, then their names weren’t recorded. And now the volunteer positions were filled. But if they came back at noon, maybe they could help with clean-up. The volunteer coordinator was apologetic as the irritated couple turned away, muttering to themselves. My First Thanksgiving Alone When it was my turn, I admitted I was one of the registered-but-not-registered volunteers […]

Gratitude sits with you differently in November. Makes you feel toasty, like the hygge of fire-side reading. Slows your steps, your heart, your soul. You welcome her to your table with a carefully laid-out china and your best chair. In November, gratitude is the easy-to-get-along-with friend. Her company is pleasant and light. She shares gentle wisdom. Notes the gift of long sleep, chilled air in the lungs, sun hanging steady. Pulls you to a crimson-red maple leaf. “God loves you like that,” she says, eyes dancing. She’s a constant companion, but she’s not pesky. Doesn’t require much. Maybe a photo snapped once a day. A short caption written for Instagram or Facebook. Or a hand-penned journal line. She’s mostly invitation, though we […]

Mayhem ran amuck as I scurried to get my children ready for an appointment. I barked orders to my older children while attempting to subdue my toddler, who gleefully ran away from me naked as a jaybird. “Are you brushing your teeth?” I yelled up the stairs, still struggling to put a diaper on my son, which was about as easy as wrestling an alligator. When he was finally dressed, I popped him on my hip to deter any further escape, and hurried upstairs to check on my 5 and 6 year olds. Do you think they were obediently dressed and ready for the day? Nope, of course not. In normal 5-year-old fashion, the toys I had neatly put away the night […]

Recently, our oldest child made the leap from high school to college. And I don’t mean college a couple of hours away—I mean really away. She has had it in her head for a long time that she wanted to be in Florida (and not just for college, but permanently) so off she went from Virginia Beach to Miami Beach. In just a few days’ time, our family dynamic changed, and we all felt it. My husband suffered the most, really feeling gutted that his baby was gone. He would comment about her car not being in the driveway, missing her late-night pass throughs to chat while we struggled to keep our eyes open, and even having extra food left over at […]

Lately, I’ve noticed my oldest son’s permanent teeth look a bit yellow compared to my other three boys, who still have their baby teeth. Of course, my first assumption was that he wasn’t brushing correctly. Or worse yet, he’s skipping his brushing altogether. But after a few weeks of supervising and not noticing a big difference, I started to do a bit of research. Apparently, baby teeth are naturally whiter than permanent teeth. One pediatric dentist explains that “permanent teeth not only have a thicker enamel, but the layer under the enamel (dentin) is also more dense. Dentin is yellow in color. This gives the permanent teeth a color slightly more yellow than the baby teeth. And it’s perfectly normal!”(¹) There is […]

I thought I’d prepared for every scenario of having a newborn—almost. Enter breastfeeding. There was nothing natural, sweet, or easy about the breastfeeding learning curve I faced. I consoled myself through weeks of clogged ducts, antibiotics for mastitis, and flow worries with two thoughts: my baby’s brain and immune system will benefit from this, and I’ll lose postpartum weight faster burning so many calories. Yet, only one of those assumptions was true! Contrary to all I’d heard and read, I learned quickly breastfeeding doesn’t necessarily make you lose weight. As a mom approaching her baby’s first birthday with a few pounds to go, I’m here with a dose of perspective about the postpartum weight loss journey while breastfeeding. As I navigated the […]

So your man is a pretty wonderful guy. Things are going so well. You might have even married him. What in the world could mess this up? Oh, the mother of his kids! Baby mama drama began with the start of civilization—think Abraham from the Bible. Sparks were going off between Sarah (his wife) and Hagar (baby mama). Abraham couldn’t deal with the drama and finally shipped Hagar off with their child—never to be seen again. Even if that is your fantasy, it isn’t going to happen—nor should it. The modern reality is that almost half (46%) of marriages involve a step-parent situation.1 When your relationship first started, dreams of the Brady Bunch may have been circling in your head. But reality […]

It’s a great time to begin mending fences. Not the ones in the back 40 of the ranch where very few of us currently live; I’m talking about the fences that require repair between us. We all experience damaged or broken relationships. Admittedly, some relationships are beyond repair, but most of the time, that’s not the case. So ask yourself, do you really want to be 90 years old, comfortable in your lift chair, and remember a relationship you once had? Pondering the friend you lost because of anger over something you can no longer recall? The sibling rivalry you never outgrew? Or the parent you walked away from? Probably not. So, how do you manage this repair process before the knees give […]

I see you over there, sitting in the audience filled with families—moms and dads, grandparents and children. I see you juggling your toddler, holding your baby, and trying with all of your might to get a good video of your kindergartener on stage in his first-ever school play. I see you there. Alone. I see you at t-ball games and ballet drop-off, every time, just you. I see you making dinner in shifts, keeping a plate warm with tin foil as you eat with the kids, because you know he’ll be hungry when he comes home. I see you doing bath time, story time, breakfast, and middle of the night feedings by yourself. All alone. I see you feeling so lonely you […]

We spend our lives learning how to make friends. In early childhood we learn to share and play nice. We introduce ourselves, smile big, try to do the right things, and hope they like us. In school we strive to fit in, to establish and keep friends. We do things to be cool and impress others—sometimes at the cost of our personal beliefs and feelings. In life, we all want to find our people and have a tight-knit group. I have made new friends through all phases of my life: as a child and young adult, at college, in my married life (and in my divorced life), in motherhood, in small groups at church, at work and at various events. I have […]

When I moved to the east coast of Canada, I didn’t know a soul. It was a big move during the most difficult time in my life. I was a stay at home mom, doing little things to make ends meet and homeschooling my kids. It wasn’t easy, but slowly we began to make friends. One friend, in particular, owned a home decor store in town. I’ll never forget the day I asked if she would consider hiring me. I was shaking and stumbling over my words as my nerves took over. I could just feel my fair skin explode into a brilliant lobster shade of red which I could not hide. Although I had little confidence in myself at the time, […]

Change. It is a certainty. It never ceases to amaze me how life can completely change in the blink of an eye. It invigorates me and leaves me a little terrified at the same time. We often go about subconsciously believing that we will live forever—that time is always there. The mind is amazing how it can trick us in that way. But we rarely fully experience the present, even though it is the only thing that is certain about our time here on earth. Experiencing the sudden death of my father and the traumatic birth of my daughter (born with a rare genetic disorder) heightened my awareness of how life can turn on a dime. I’m sure many of you have had similar life curve balls. Yet, we know […]

If you were a victim of child abuse or neglect like me, you very likely have experienced or do experience some level of shame. In my case, it plagued me for many years, yet I had no idea what it even was. Shame from abuse is hard to pin down because it assumes many forms. But it has the same message. It tells us that we are inferior, a mistake, fundamentally flawed. Shame Is Not the Same as Guilt Shame focuses on self. Guilt focuses on behavior. Shame says that “I am bad.” Guilt says that “I did something bad.” Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” a person who experiences shame says that “I am a mistake.” Think of shame as […]

Every day for nearly six years, I had to walk by a line of misshapen, horribly trimmed, oblong, and funky shrubs to get to my front door. Some years, I’d take shears and gently prune the gangly branches in hopes that the new growth would sprout forth as effortlessly and symmetrically as it appeared our neighbor’s shrubs did every spring. Other years, my frustration led me to our battery-powered hedge trimmer. At first, I was a bit intimidated by it. Me? Someone who trimmed hedges? With power tools, no less? But after I got comfortable with the safety button, I was ready to cut back any unruly branch or out-of-place landscaping around our house. “What have you done?” my husband kindly asked […]