I was a teen in the early years of Roe v. Wade when a significant cultural change began. I don’t think we realized then how much impact a decision made by seven Justices of the Supreme Court would have on our lives. Pregnancy wasn’t ever present in our minds, but it was something we were trying to avoid, often rather ineffectively, given this was also the era of “free love.” In those years, an unplanned pregnancy had even more impact on a female’s life than it does today. Girls were labeled, often looked down upon, which didn’t make a lot of sense since they were not alone in their activity. They merely experienced the possible consequences that many others risked. It was […]

Do you ever wish you had a guidebook for life’s challenges? Challenges that feel insurmountable, and you would love guidance from someone who has already traversed the road you find yourself on? Something easy to read that allows you to feel comfortable with your hurts, feelings, and thoughts? We created those books in the Smart Living in Small Bites series. The first four are ready to launch on Amazon Kindle eBook October 15th! Hard Marriage, Suicide Loss, Anxiety Struggles, and Past Sexual Abuse are the first of the subjects we are speaking to. Our writers, just like you, have faced challenges with nowhere to turn. This shared experience led us to help others facing what we had already faced. Each book in the […]

I just read this post by a friend of mine, Heidi Smith: “Today is clean out my closet day—I am finally ready to let go of my ‘skinny clothes.’ Three years ago, I was doing an insane preparation and was the thinnest I’ve ever been. I was weighing my food and tracking everything. To some, that may look like discipline; now I realize that I had put myself in a prison. I was going to bed starving and having horrible blood sugar crashes. For what? Because I thought to be beautiful was low body fat? I am not naturally thin. I lift. I am active. I never stop moving. I eat healthy. But I have learned that it is okay to enjoy […]

Oh, fall, we just love you for so many reasons. After summer’s heat and humidity, your cool, crisp air is a glorious change of pace. Your colors are astounding, bringing perspective each day as you turn the leaves into gorgeous shades of crimson and gold. Bundling up in sweaters and boots is exciting and new after a season of sweating it out in swimsuits and shorts. But nowhere is our love for fall displayed greater than in the explosion of pumpkin everything in the past few years. Long gone are the days when pumpkin made a single appearance in the pie at Thanksgiving. Now, pumpkin is the marker by which we usher in the entire season, with the release of the Pumpkin […]

When I stumble in my spiritual life, whether it’s a whole-hog wallow or just a baby toe in the dirt, my comeback is the same: I turn around and head home to the Father. And I receive his love and forgiveness. And then I head into the after-party. Pretty simple, really, regardless of whether it’s just a little trip or a full-on face plant. The Story of The Prodigal Son These pieces of coming back to God come right out of the best Bible story I know about restoring a broken relationship with God, the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. Since it’s familiar, I’ll briefly summarize: a younger son asks for his inheritance while his father is still alive, […]

We hit a milestone in our house when and my oldest daughter got her license. And not the drive-in-the-car-with-your-mom-while-she-yells-and-hangs-on-for-dear-life kind of license. It’s the “Mom, I am taking your car to the movies and then to McDonald’s with all my friends” kind of license. And I have to be honest with you, while part of me was super excited that I could now make her drive to get all my groceries (don’t judge me), the other part of me was absolutely terrified. Like, every horrible car accident you’ve ever seen in the movies terrified. And not because she can’t drive. Trust me, I’ve got $2000 worth of Deans Defensive Driving School invested in this kid and I feel totally confident in her […]

Sometimes you’ve got to tell yourself what you’re made for. Because you forgot. Or it got lost in the loads of unfolded laundry, dishes stacked in the sink, papers from school in a messy stack of come-back-to-it-later. If you’re like me, you forget that your roles aren’t you. Sure, you’re part mom, part wife, part daughter and sister, aunt and writer. But the way you fill your roles and the way they expose your lack says what you do, not who you are. They define you in relation to others. Tell you how to show up. Who to love best. They’re important. Who Am I? You’re More Than a Title But your biggest purpose isn’t a title, a label, or a role. […]

It was kind of like a modern-day beauty pageant, minus the talent section. It required no essay entrance exam or interview portion. There were truly only two necessary attributes to be invited into King Xerxes harem—beauty and virginity. That was it. Young girls from every province of the kingdom were screened, gathered, and brought into the harem based solely on these two qualities. Meet Esther. She’s an unlikely hero of the bible, and I like that about her. I get her. Even though thousands of years separate us (and, you know, one of us was royalty and the other not), she and I are not very different. Her lessons are my lessons, our hearts connected. It would be easy to dismiss her […]

We hit a milestone in our house when and my oldest daughter got her license. And not the drive-in-the-car-with-your-mom-while-she-yells-and-hangs-on-for-dear-life kind of license. It’s the “Mom, I am taking your car to the movies and then to McDonald’s with all my friends” kind of license. And I have to be honest with you, while part of me was super excited that I could now make her drive to get all my groceries (don’t judge me), the other part of me was absolutely terrified. Like, every horrible car accident you’ve ever seen in the movies terrified. And not because she can’t drive. Trust me, I’ve got $2000 worth of Deans Defensive Driving School invested in this kid and I feel totally confident in her […]

In the spirit of keeping it real with you, I thought I’d write today on how much of a hot mess I am. Side note, it’s currently 3:53 pm (I like to call this time the witching hour in our house), and I’m hiding in a dark room listening to my 5-year-old “make juice” for supper. If you already have kids then you know how bad this is and if you don’t, then let me tell you, it’s bad. I just don’t have the energy today to stop him. And I’m in over my head. It probably started last night but it’s all kind of a blur right now. I went to visit a friend’s new place after dropping my teenage daughter off […]

Over the years, I have been a part of several groups of women: organizations, study groups, gatherings of friends, etc. Recently, I was sitting in the audience of one such group when a mom of two stood up to share a bit about herself and her family. She mentioned she used to be a softball catcher and a trombone player and received her master’s at UF. And here she was, a stay-at-home mom with two small children whom she is currently homeschooling. That, plus her quiet disposition and love of motherhood, had pegged her in my mind as someone who must have grown up thinking that’s what she aspired to be. She was the second woman that week who surprised me with her unlikely […]

I’m a mom of three boys, and while I know from experience that prepubescent girls have their own struggles, I am beginning to learn about the struggles of prepubescent boys. My ten-year-old middle son had one of those days today. It was one of those days where it feels like everything is going wrong. He got his first zit, didn’t sleep well last night, and everything just feels “icky” as he stated it. It makes me feel terrible to see him this way. My initial emotional reaction is always the same, “Quick, make him feel better!” Just as quickly as that thought appears, it fades and my reasoning takes over. In my head, I know that I am robbing him of integral […]

My first trip to Frankfurt as a flight attendant surprised me, an intrinsically valuable experience that taught me strategies for combatting loneliness both at home and abroad. I’d worked the flight overnight, finding myself in the German city for the first time. The rest of my crew was busy, leaving me alone for the day. This fine day in Europe, I learned that while loneliness is an epidemic in our modern era, it doesn’t have to be. Here are a few tricks I now regularly use no matter where I am in the world. 5 Tips to Avoid Loneliness 1. Talk to people. People are the greatest resource on the planet! I’d already started my “research” on the aircraft crossing the Atlantic. […]

I see you over there, sitting in the audience filled with families—moms and dads, grandparents and children. I see you juggling your toddler, holding your baby, and trying with all of your might to get a good video of your kindergartener on stage in his first-ever school play. I see you there. Alone. I see you at t-ball games and ballet drop-off, every time, just you. I see you making dinner in shifts, keeping a plate warm with tin foil as you eat with the kids, because you know he’ll be hungry when he comes home. I see you doing bath time, story time, breakfast, and middle of the night feedings by yourself. All alone. I see you feeling so lonely you […]

We spend our lives learning how to make friends. In early childhood we learn to share and play nice. We introduce ourselves, smile big, try to do the right things, and hope they like us. In school we strive to fit in, to establish and keep friends. We do things to be cool and impress others—sometimes at the cost of our personal beliefs and feelings. In life, we all want to find our people and have a tight-knit group. I have made new friends through all phases of my life: as a child and young adult, at college, in my married life (and in my divorced life), in motherhood, in small groups at church, at work and at various events. I have […]

To the girl who didn’t get the engagement you were expecting, this is what you need to do to finally get a commitment… You tried not to get your hopes up, but deep down you feel like it is time. He’s the man of your dreams and he says you are the woman of his. You’ve been together long enough for him to know if he wants to make that big commitment. And it doesn’t help that it seems like everyone’s boyfriend is popping the question these days! Maybe you were hoping it would happen over the holidays… Then, Valentine’s Day… Or, perhaps you were daydreaming about the perfectly planned summer proposal leading to a beautiful fall marriage. You even dropped some […]

Change. It is a certainty. It never ceases to amaze me how life can completely change in the blink of an eye. It invigorates me and leaves me a little terrified at the same time. We often go about subconsciously believing that we will live forever—that time is always there. The mind is amazing how it can trick us in that way. But we rarely fully experience the present, even though it is the only thing that is certain about our time here on earth. Experiencing the sudden death of my father and the traumatic birth of my daughter (born with a rare genetic disorder) heightened my awareness of how life can turn on a dime. I’m sure many of you have had similar life curve balls. Yet, we know […]

If you were a victim of child abuse or neglect like me, you very likely have experienced or do experience some level of shame. In my case, it plagued me for many years, yet I had no idea what it even was. Shame from abuse is hard to pin down because it assumes many forms. But it has the same message. It tells us that we are inferior, a mistake, fundamentally flawed. Shame Is Not the Same as Guilt Shame focuses on self. Guilt focuses on behavior. Shame says that “I am bad.” Guilt says that “I did something bad.” Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” a person who experiences shame says that “I am a mistake.” Think of shame as […]

Defining Grace Grace is the anchor of our faith, the reason for the confidence we have in a God of mercy. It’s what is extended to us through a relationship with God established by the sacrifice of Christ. When we accept it from our Creator, it seems it should be such an easy thing to extend because he does it so magnificently. But for us to live our lives offering the same grace to others is anything but an easy task. Living a life of grace is very often misinterpreted. Some believe it’s an indicator of weakness. In the eyes of many, extending the truest form of grace, which is forgiveness, means giving up. Others believe grace is automatic and easy to […]

Every day for nearly six years, I had to walk by a line of misshapen, horribly trimmed, oblong, and funky shrubs to get to my front door. Some years, I’d take shears and gently prune the gangly branches in hopes that the new growth would sprout forth as effortlessly and symmetrically as it appeared our neighbor’s shrubs did every spring. Other years, my frustration led me to our battery-powered hedge trimmer. At first, I was a bit intimidated by it. Me? Someone who trimmed hedges? With power tools, no less? But after I got comfortable with the safety button, I was ready to cut back any unruly branch or out-of-place landscaping around our house. “What have you done?” my husband kindly asked […]