I recently made the decision to begin searching for a van to purchase. With a growing family, my small SUV wasn’t working so well! However, I knew that in order to get what I wanted I would need to take out a loan. Then I began to consider my budget and exactly what I could afford without being stretched. That’s when I decided it was time to reassess my bills. Maybe it’s time you did the same thing. When evaluating your monthly bills and expenses: 1. Look at the bills that are not utilities. Typically there is car and homeowner insurance, home alarm, cable/internet, and home mortgage. Since we had been loyal with the various companies for several years and always paid on […]

The holidays can be stressful, especially for those of us in recovery. Whether that is recovery from substance use, food addiction, co-dependent relationships, or pretty much anything at all (I believe that we are all in recovery from something), the holidays can put a stress on our recovery journeys. Even good stress can be challenging. Because of this, I wanted to create a resource that can help guide your journey in recovery through the holiday season—or any season—you might find yourself in. In these pages, you will find a quick sober holiday survival guide that will walk with you through the challenges of the season. In this guide, you will learn to: Understand your holiday triggers  Respond in 4 healthy ways Support […]

The last few years have felt weird to most of us. The holiday traditions that we once looked forward to have changed—some slightly, some dramatically. Gatherings moved outdoors or stopped altogether. In the chaos and crazy of the holidays, I always find a sense of peace during this time, especially in recent years. I have one family tradition that I just couldn’t stop and I plan to pass down through multiple generations: the collection of meaningful Christmas tree ornaments. Many years ago when I was a teenager, I started collecting ornaments, which was a huge improvement over the shot glass collection I had started. (In my defense, those were inexpensive gift store buys.) These ornaments came from places I had visited, people […]

My husband and I were introduced to the world of urban gardening long before it was all the rage. Rather than trying to stay on top of the newest trend in city living, we were seeking to nurse our depleted spirits. We had hit a rough patch in life which had left us both weathered and emotionally spent. Stress was high and burn out was knocking on our door. It was a wise counselor who listened to our sad state and suggested that in order to renew our joy, we should find a life-giving hobby to share in together. As we brainstormed about activities we were interested in pursuing, oddly enough gardening ended up making the final cut. Living downtown in a […]

With Christmas right around the corner, many are celebrating what is known as Advent. Now, for those of you like me who did not grow up in the church, you may not have learned that Advent is the period of time in the Christian calendar leading up to Christ’s birth on Christmas. Even though “Advent” may sound like the newest asthma medication, it in fact signifies a time of expectant waiting. In Latin (for those word lovers like myself), it literally means “coming.” Christ is coming and as a Christian, we mark this amazing reality by talking about it, hearing about it in sermons, and reflecting on it during the four Sundays leading up to Christmas. I did not grow up in […]

I’m tired of waiting. Maybe I’ve been waiting so long because God is not hearing my prayers. Have I fallen that far that He doesn’t hear me? I know I haven’t been praying like I should, but God knows why. I’m just a middle-aged grandma, raising three grandkids. I’m busy; my hands are full. He knows this. I believed with all my heart that He was the one that brought these kids to me. By the time I sit down to pray, I end up falling asleep or my mind wanders off into all of the things I need to do. The Road Home “What time is it?” my son asked after he was jolted awake when we hit a bump in the road. […]

“And there were in the same country, shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not. For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord,’” (Luke 2:8-14). This memorable verse from Luke—which Linus proudly recites in A Charlie Brown Christmas to explain the true meaning of the holiday—states clearly where we are to find our greatest joy. It’s easy to […]

We all face anxiety, some more than others. It’s part of being human. So, what do you do when fear strikes? When a thought of the unknown future taunts even the most confident fiber of your being? The ladies at The Grit and Grace Project share some of their own worries and anxieties and the Bible verses that bring them peace. Take heart, friends, and may you be comforted to know that He’s always there. Here are some verses for comfort: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, […]

Having a special needs child requires a certain amount of organization to cope with the endless piles of paperwork. In just the first five years of our daughter’s life, more paperwork has accumulated than in my life altogether. I never imagined the avalanche of white that would follow doctor appointments, test results, therapy sessions, medical bills, healthcare claims, prescriptions, as well as school, grant, and scholarship applications. I soon found myself overwhelmed and drowning in piles of important details. Too often I was caught unprepared without detailed information of my daughter’s medical history or current care readily available for inquiring professionals. This created significant hiccups at times. I already had to wait months to see certain specialists, and my face-to-face time with […]

There’s an old adage that says, “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ’til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.” A long-time friend of mine, who is years ahead of me in the parenting game, sent it to me one afternoon while I was in the middle of a mommy meltdown. I only had two of my four children at the time, and I was exasperated at the thought of never having a clean house again. It was during my full-time corporate days, while my husband was also running a restaurant and attending school full-time to obtain his accounting degree. Cleaning my house was […]

Mayhem ran amuck as I scurried to get my children ready for an appointment. I barked orders to my older children while attempting to subdue my toddler, who gleefully ran away from me naked as a jaybird. “Are you brushing your teeth?” I yelled up the stairs, still struggling to put a diaper on my son, which was about as easy as wrestling an alligator. When he was finally dressed, I popped him on my hip to deter any further escape, and hurried upstairs to check on my 5 and 6 year olds. Do you think they were obediently dressed and ready for the day? Nope, of course not. In normal 5-year-old fashion, the toys I had neatly put away the night […]

Recently, our oldest child made the leap from high school to college. And I don’t mean college a couple of hours away—I mean really away. She has had it in her head for a long time that she wanted to be in Florida (and not just for college, but permanently) so off she went from Virginia Beach to Miami Beach. In just a few days’ time, our family dynamic changed, and we all felt it. My husband suffered the most, really feeling gutted that his baby was gone. He would comment about her car not being in the driveway, missing her late-night pass throughs to chat while we struggled to keep our eyes open, and even having extra food left over at […]

A few years ago I drove upstate to visit my best friend from college because she just had her first baby. At the time, I couldn’t help but ponder the milestones we’ve shared: graduations, weddings, fur-babies, careers, buying and selling homes, and now…motherhood! Our friendship has felt pretty special from the start, so it got me thinking about what it is that makes our relationship so life-giving… 9 Qualities That Make a Good Friend: 1. Someone who helps carry your load, but doesn’t make you feel like a burden. 2. Someone who knows your worst, but only sees your best. 3. Someone who never makes you feel small, no matter how big they are. 4. Someone who doesn’t flaunt, especially when they […]

So your man is a pretty wonderful guy. Things are going so well. You might have even married him. What in the world could mess this up? Oh, the mother of his kids! Baby mama drama began with the start of civilization—think Abraham from the Bible. Sparks were going off between Sarah (his wife) and Hagar (baby mama). Abraham couldn’t deal with the drama and finally shipped Hagar off with their child—never to be seen again. Even if that is your fantasy, it isn’t going to happen—nor should it. The modern reality is that almost half (46%) of marriages involve a step-parent situation.1 When your relationship first started, dreams of the Brady Bunch may have been circling in your head. But reality […]

It’s a great time to begin mending fences. Not the ones in the back 40 of the ranch where very few of us currently live; I’m talking about the fences that require repair between us. We all experience damaged or broken relationships. Admittedly, some relationships are beyond repair, but most of the time, that’s not the case. So ask yourself, do you really want to be 90 years old, comfortable in your lift chair, and remember a relationship you once had? Pondering the friend you lost because of anger over something you can no longer recall? The sibling rivalry you never outgrew? Or the parent you walked away from? Probably not. So, how do you manage this repair process before the knees give […]

I see you over there, sitting in the audience filled with families—moms and dads, grandparents and children. I see you juggling your toddler, holding your baby, and trying with all of your might to get a good video of your kindergartener on stage in his first-ever school play. I see you there. Alone. I see you at t-ball games and ballet drop-off, every time, just you. I see you making dinner in shifts, keeping a plate warm with tin foil as you eat with the kids, because you know he’ll be hungry when he comes home. I see you doing bath time, story time, breakfast, and middle of the night feedings by yourself. All alone. I see you feeling so lonely you […]

A recent facts and statistics sheet from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America from August 2017 states that anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. affecting 40 million adults, which is a little over 18% of the population. They went on to state that with more specific disorders such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Panic Disorder (PD) women are twice as likely to be affected as men.1 I wasn’t exactly surprised to read that, but it was definitely a sobering reality to face. I’ve not ever been diagnosed officially, but I’ve struggled with anxiety a lot over the years. I’m a pretty anxious person, and I have been ever since I was a little girl. I can […]

When I moved to the east coast of Canada, I didn’t know a soul. It was a big move during the most difficult time in my life. I was a stay at home mom, doing little things to make ends meet and homeschooling my kids. It wasn’t easy, but slowly we began to make friends. One friend, in particular, owned a home decor store in town. I’ll never forget the day I asked if she would consider hiring me. I was shaking and stumbling over my words as my nerves took over. I could just feel my fair skin explode into a brilliant lobster shade of red which I could not hide. Although I had little confidence in myself at the time, […]

Change. It is a certainty. It never ceases to amaze me how life can completely change in the blink of an eye. It invigorates me and leaves me a little terrified at the same time. We often go about subconsciously believing that we will live forever—that time is always there. The mind is amazing how it can trick us in that way. But we rarely fully experience the present, even though it is the only thing that is certain about our time here on earth. Experiencing the sudden death of my father and the traumatic birth of my daughter (born with a rare genetic disorder) heightened my awareness of how life can turn on a dime. I’m sure many of you have had similar life curve balls. Yet, we know […]

If you were a victim of child abuse or neglect like me, you very likely have experienced or do experience some level of shame. In my case, it plagued me for many years, yet I had no idea what it even was. Shame from abuse is hard to pin down because it assumes many forms. But it has the same message. It tells us that we are inferior, a mistake, fundamentally flawed. Shame Is Not the Same as Guilt Shame focuses on self. Guilt focuses on behavior. Shame says that “I am bad.” Guilt says that “I did something bad.” Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” a person who experiences shame says that “I am a mistake.” Think of shame as […]