Teenagers

Parenting teenagers presents many challenges, but these reads will help you overcome the struggles you may face in this season of motherhood so you can still enjoy the relationship with your child. #gritandgracelife

5-reasons-to-thank-your-prodigal

5 Reasons to Thank Your Prodigal

As our friends get older, which unavoidably means we’re getting older too, we find we’re welcoming many of them into the Hurting Parents Club. “You’re late,” we sometimes want to say, or “What took you so long?” We don’t say these things out loud because we know that would do absolutely nothing to ease anyone’s pain. And they would never consider they would one day thank their prodigal. But this state of affairs among our more seasoned friends has caused me to want to formally thank our very own “prodigal”, Matt, for rebelling early and vigorously (I’ll get to why I’m grateful for the vigorous part in a minute). I use quotations around Prodigal because even now, Matt wears this label on […]

5 Reasons to Thank Your Prodigal Read More »

How to Teach Your Child Not to Hold Prejudices 2

How to Teach Your Child Not to Hold Prejudices

Why does it feel so uncomfortable to talk about race and racism in this country? Deep down in our gut, we know something just isn’t right and that makes us squirm. Humans strive for internal consistency, and when it’s not there we become uncomfortable. A part of our mind knows that we are all one family: the human race. The other part knows that we harbor some racism, stereotypes, prejudice, or discriminatory thoughts. Yes, we do. This makes us uncomfortable. When we become uncomfortable, we actively avoid situations and information likely to increase it. So, it’s normal to feel that way. I invite you to feel it now and keep reading anyway. There is something called multigenerational transmission process, which just means

How to Teach Your Child Not to Hold Prejudices Read More »

Is My Teen Out of Control or Is This Normal? with Dr. Zoe Shaw – 232

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More“Is my teen out of control, or is this normal behavior? At one point do I need to begin enforcing changes?” These questions often consume moms of teens and preteens, and on this throwback episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender ask psychotherapist and relationship coach Dr. Zoe Shaw for advice. Dr. Zoe discusses how to approach privacy and your teen’s internet and social media use; how to recognize which moments you should step aside and allow your teen to make mistakes, and when it’s time for you to intervene; and If you have a teen (or will soon), this episode is filled

Is My Teen Out of Control or Is This Normal? with Dr. Zoe Shaw – 232 Read More »

teenage son hugging mother from behind outside

The Joy Series: Parenting a Teen Is Hard, But I’ve Found Gratitude Among the Grumbles

Motherhood at any stage is a joyful experience, yet with each stage comes its own challenges. We’ve moved from diapers to building blocks to car keys in the blink of an eye. Parenting a teen is similar to dancing: the music changes often, and we can either change with the music or sit it out. I have found joy in choosing to adapt to the music, and meeting my son right where he is, in that moment. Meeting My Teenage Son Where He’s At Even though life seems to rush at us with so much to do, I love being able to share it with my son. Meeting him where he is has allowed me into his world. He shares his hurts

The Joy Series: Parenting a Teen Is Hard, But I’ve Found Gratitude Among the Grumbles Read More »

Moms-Be-Sure-to-Make-Memories-That-Will-Last-a-Lifetime

Mom, Be Sure to Make Memories That Will Last a Lifetime

I recently traveled through Northeastern Georgia as we headed to the mountains of North Carolina. We have the privilege of enjoying the autumn in the tranquil and beautiful land between the Smoky Mountains and the Blue Ridge Parkway. Observing the burst of color in the month of October leaves one in awe of the beauty of creation. While heading to our final destination, we spotted a Fruit Stand – Corn Maze – Hayride – Bakery – Ice Cream Store and Pumpkin Patch. Yes, these were all there in one location. With fare like this, we had to stop and see which of these we couldn’t live without. Parking in an absolutely full lot, alongside another load of pumpkins being delivered from the

Mom, Be Sure to Make Memories That Will Last a Lifetime Read More »

8 Things Moms Should Say to Raise Strong Kids

Say These 8 Phrases to Raise Strong Kids

In their most powerful form, words have the ability to shape one’s character, self-esteem, and relationships. They can impact us for better or worse for the rest of our lives. As moms, our words in particular shape our children, and the longer my motherhood journey continues, the more I discover this to be true. I’ve witnessed the positive impact of my words—evidenced by my girls’ grins, hugs, and outward joy—as well as the pain that my words can illicit, spoken in the moments of impatience or anger. Both can have a lingering effect. If you’re like me and looking to add more life-giving phrases to your everyday vernacular, here are 8 things (outside of “I love you”) you should consider saying to

Say These 8 Phrases to Raise Strong Kids Read More »

Do High School Girls Want to Be Sophisticated Ladies?

Do High School Girls Want to Be Sophisticated Ladies?

“Hold your head high when you walk.” “Make sure your skirt and shirt are pulled down.” “Don’t be louder than a boy.” “Cross your legs when you sit in a skirt.” “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” “At times, it’s OK to be seen and not heard.” “Make eye contact and say ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘yes sir’.” “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” “Girls who talk about other girls will most likely talk about you too.” “Always act like a lady.” These are just a few of the simple lessons in life I remember my mom teaching me as a young girl. They

Do High School Girls Want to Be Sophisticated Ladies? Read More »

To the Mom Who Feels Like It Never Ends

Your Guide To the Best Momisms All Moms Use

“When you’re a parent, you’ll understand.” How many of us heard these words from our mothers on one or more occasions growing up? If you’re anything like me, you heard these words quite frequently. And if you’re also anything like me, you swore you’d never say anything that ridiculous to your children because, quite frankly, it was never clear exactly what you were supposed to understand. Moms have their own special language, passed down from their mothers and their grandmothers before them. It’s like a secret code, and you can only decipher it once you become a mom yourself. I know this, because I am now a parent, and all of a sudden, I magically understand. A Mom’s Special Language: Momisms As

Your Guide To the Best Momisms All Moms Use Read More »

Being a mom—the job that keeps on giving (even though it doesn’t pay)

Being a mom—the job that keeps on giving (even though it doesn’t pay)

I’ve read so many articles about the veritable “mom salary” over the years, and I’m trying to get my bearings on why this hasn’t gotten any traction. I mean, seriously! We, moms, do it all! I’m not diminishing those hands-on dads or single dads. Just telling a mom-type story. I was a stay-at-home mom for many years when my kids were younger. That was a tough time financially, emotionally, and physically. I went back to work part-time when my youngest was in second grade and full-time when he was in fourth grade. Now he’s in 11th grade, and here’s the deal. The mom’s salary should be real. The last five years of parenting have caused me to be more aware of the

Being a mom—the job that keeps on giving (even though it doesn’t pay) Read More »

7 Essential Tips to Relieve Middle School Anxiety

7 Essential Tips to Relieve Middle School Anxiety

Middle school is one of the most emotionally-charged seasons in every human’s life. Bringing up this rite of passage, from elementary age to high school, is always a good way to create lively conversation between adults. Although it’s a season of life that most of us are glad to leave behind, there’s just something about sharing those vivid, awkward memories of middle school anxiety that make us both laugh and cringe at the same time. However, the mother of a child in the midst of middle school anxiety needs every little bit of help available when she sends her “just yesterday they started school” child out the door…knowing full well that today might possibly be the day that her sweet baby is

7 Essential Tips to Relieve Middle School Anxiety Read More »

Sending Your Kid to College is Very Much Like Kindergarten

Sending Your Kid to College Is Very Much Like Kindergarten

Several years ago, my oldest child left for college, a large university two hours away. As she prepared for this exciting adventure, I took to pen and paper to express my feelings. The sentiment is likely similar for many who are sending your kid to college, a gap year, the military, or wherever. So, this is for you… To My College-Bound Daughter You are leaving for college in less than two weeks. I knew that this moment was coming, and maybe it was a little denial or perhaps it was genuine thoughts of “it is a long way off…” Either way, now the moment is practically here. and I’m having a mini panic attack. I realize all parents have this moment in

Sending Your Kid to College Is Very Much Like Kindergarten Read More »

Mom and son getting ready for indoor rock climbing a metaphor to get ready for the teen years

Moms, Get Ready for the Teen Years Now

Moms, are you dreading those teen years? You’ve gone from 2 to 6 to 10 years old at lightning speed, which makes you know  those terrifying years in a child’s life will be on you before you finish fixing dinner. There are books on handling this age and podcasts that help parents navigate this season, and while those are helpful, the best way to deal with your teenager is what you do before they get there. What you’ve instilled before that season and the relationship you’ve built will see you through these wonderful, albeit challenging, years. Before I step into the list of things you must do now, I want to assure every parent of this: While ages 13-18 create many unique

Moms, Get Ready for the Teen Years Now Read More »

Why These Dads Make Strong Kids

Why This Kind of Dad Makes a Strong Kid

My husband and I were watching a singing competition the other night, and I noticed an interesting trend during the competitors’ interviews. Time after time, the contestants made similar claims. The reason they were standing there, taking a televised risk, was because of their father or father figure. For most, the influence of a positive male role model made a difference in their lives. It’s what made them a strong kid, promoting an overall confidence and a healthy self-esteem. The kind of confidence you need to pursue big dreams. This observation sparked a new curiosity within me. Why do fathers make such an impact? What is it about a dad’s role, specifically, that seems to almost make or break a child? While Grit

Why This Kind of Dad Makes a Strong Kid Read More »

Ask Dr. Zoe - Can I Detach from My Aggressive, Disrespectful Teenage Son?

Ask Dr. Zoe – Can I Detach from My Aggressive, Disrespectful Teenage Son?

‘Mamma b’ Asked: My son’s dad is a malignant narcissist and has been a terrible co-parent. […] Before puberty we were so close, then I had four years of heartbreak. My mum abandoned me (also a narcissist). I thought if I got away from the toxic situation as a baby but still allowed him to see his dad, then he would be okay. But for the past year he has been triggering my PTSD from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. I felt like I was back with his dad: the lying, the manipulation, the complete lack of empathy even though I’ve taught him ? It could just be a teenage thing; he’s 15 and I think he has daddy issues. I had

Ask Dr. Zoe – Can I Detach from My Aggressive, Disrespectful Teenage Son? Read More »

5 Verses to Help You Survive the Teenage Years

5 Verses to Help You Survive the Teenage Years

This morning, during our 12-mile ride to school, my son shared with me some disturbing behavior that he witnessed at school. I let my son talk freely. One of my favorite times of the day is when we are in the car going to and from school. We have had the best conversations during those times, discussing situations and circumstances that we face. I treasure that time together; it’s a safe place to share and be an active listener. As a parent, it is sometimes hard to just listen. During that time, I strive to allow him to speak and share what he is wrestling with and things that are going on in his life and his friends’ lives. It’s been a

5 Verses to Help You Survive the Teenage Years Read More »

You Can Stop Trying To Be a Cool Mom. Do This Instead!

You Can Stop Trying To Be a Cool Mom. Do This Instead!

You don’t have to be a cool mom. How freeing is that statement? I think that somewhere in the midst of childrearing we forget that our goal is not to be our kid’s best friend, or to be cool. My mom was cool. However, I would not have said that when I was an adolescent. I specifically remember being mortified when she dropped me off at school in our minivan with wooden paneling on the side that I was sure everyone noticed. She also sent me to school with a reusable lunchbox when all the cool kids had brown paper bags. I remember hiding my lunchbox while walking into the cafeteria because I knew everyone was looking at it. She also had rules. I had to be

You Can Stop Trying To Be a Cool Mom. Do This Instead! Read More »

High-School-Graduation-A-Mom's-Rite-of-Passage

High School Graduation: Things Are Changing, but for the Good

My eldest daughter’s high school graduation had befallen. I’m not sure how we got here. Yes, seems like only yesterday… On the other hand, I had the wrinkles to prove it wasn’t! Created not only by the passage of time but also probably gained by potty training failures, elementary school multiplication tables, middle school emotional swings, high school auto accidents, and a revolving door of boyfriends. We had to shop for a little white dress to go under the white graduation robe. We couldn’t have a bright red dress showing through, now could we? This was just one of the activities, plans, and expenses as we prepared for the day we had all worked so very hard for. We had an entire list.

High School Graduation: Things Are Changing, but for the Good Read More »

Scroll to Top