Teenagers | Grit and Grace Life

As Teens Grow Away, You Can Still Stay Connected. Here’s How

Recently, our oldest child made the leap from high school to college. And I don’t mean college a couple of hours away—I mean really away. She has had it in her head for a long time that she wanted to be in Florida (and not just for college, but permanently) so off she went from Virginia Beach to Miami Beach. In just a few days’ time, our family dynamic changed, and we all felt it. My husband suffered the most, really feeling gutted that his baby was gone. He would comment about her car not being in the driveway, missing her late-night pass throughs to chat while we struggled to keep our eyes open, and even having extra food left over at […]

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8 Things Moms Should Say to Raise Strong Kids

Say These 8 Phrases to Raise Strong Kids

By Rachel Hagstrom / Motherhood

In their most powerful form, words have the ability to shape one’s character, self-esteem, and relationships. They can impact us for better or worse for the rest of our lives. As moms, our words in particular shape our children, and the longer my motherhood journey continues, the more I discover this to be true. I’ve witnessed the positive impact of my words—evidenced by my girls’ grins, hugs, and outward joy—as well as the pain that my words can illicit, spoken in the moments of impatience or anger. Both can have a lingering effect. If you’re like me and looking to add more life-giving phrases to your everyday vernacular, here are 8 things (outside of “I love you”) you should consider saying to

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Ask Dr. Zoe – My Teen Is Sexually Confused—How Can I Talk to Her?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Very Concerned Dad’ asked: Please help. I’m religious and my wife kinda is. Our just-turned 13-year-old daughter had a crush last year on a girl and also thought she was trans—not fun. She’s not trans and realizes that now. She was manipulated/indoctrinated at an independent, Catholic school that felt we should change pronouns. My wife and I were able to get through that. However, she has feelings about girls and boys and I’m trying to help her. Today, I got an alert that she was looking up her girl crush (an older student) online, so I need to talk to her tonight. Any advice about sexuality that I can share with her? I’m just so darn lost and not getting any help

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Ask Dr. Zoe – I’m Disappointed My Teen Daughter Is Having Sex. What Should I Say to Her?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Sister’ asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, My 20-year-old teen daughter is having sex. She lost her virginity at 17 1/2 years old. She is now on her fourth boyfriend and I believe is having sex with him, meaning she has had sex with four boys now. I’m a Christian woman and had high expectations, so when she lost her virginity, I was so broken. And when she recently told me she had sex with the last two boyfriends, I couldn’t believe it. And now I’m sure she’s having sex with her new boyfriend. father knows about the first boy she was with but not the rest. He would be so hurt as a father. She is our only daughter and we have always

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How to Get Your Teen to Talk to You

By Brianna Barrett / Motherhood

As the year dwindles, I’m holding tightly to the moments in the car on the way to and from school each day. This is the last semester I will be driving him to school, not only will I not get to spend that added time with him, but I’m going to miss the talks we have in the car. When my teen gets in the car, he starts talking—not one-word answers or incomprehensible sounds, but full-on talking until we get home. We’ve worked on our relationship together to be able to communicate better. As a mom, there are times I want to fix all his problems, but I’ve found that most of the time he just wants a sounding board. He wants

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Why This Kind of Dad Makes a Strong Kid

By Ashley Johnson / Life & Culture

My husband and I were watching a singing competition the other night, and I noticed an interesting trend during the competitors’ interviews. Time after time, the contestants made similar claims. The reason they were standing there, taking a televised risk, was because of their father or father figure. For most, the influence of a positive male role model made a difference in their lives. It’s what made them a strong kid, promoting an overall confidence and a healthy self-esteem. The kind of confidence you need to pursue big dreams. This observation sparked a new curiosity within me. Why do fathers make such an impact? What is it about a dad’s role, specifically, that seems to almost make or break a child? While Grit

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5 Ways to Get Your Teenager Off Screens Now

By Meaghan Dawson / Motherhood

My oldest son has the most beautiful head of blonde hair I have ever seen. I know this is an odd statement, but it’s true. I have been stopped by strangers in public who compliment me on his cool hair, even though he is past the cute baby stage and well into the gangly preteen years. It’s the envy of his friends (I’m not lying about this,) and a color many women pay hundreds of dollars to maintain. But for me personally, I’m tired of seeing it. Let me rephrase. I’m tired of seeing just the very top of his hair as he stares down, neck craned in that awkward “I’m staring at my phone” posture. I want to see his eyes.

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This Mom Is Sending out an SOS That Will Make You LOL

By Laila Schell / Motherhood

In the spirit of keeping it real with you, I thought I’d write today on how much of a hot mess I am. Side note, it’s currently 3:53 pm (I like to call this time the witching hour in our house), and I’m hiding in a dark room listening to my 5-year-old “make juice” for supper. If you already have kids then you know how bad this is and if you don’t, then let me tell you, it’s bad. I just don’t have the energy today to stop him. And I’m in over my head. It probably started last night but it’s all kind of a blur right now. I went to visit a friend’s new place after dropping my teenage daughter off

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High-School-Graduation-A-Mom's-Rite-of-Passage

High School Graduation: Things Are Changing, but for the Good

By Darlene Brock / Motherhood

My eldest daughter’s high school graduation had befallen. I’m not sure how we got here. Yes, seems like only yesterday… On the other hand, I had the wrinkles to prove it wasn’t! Created not only by the passage of time but also probably gained by potty training failures, elementary school multiplication tables, middle school emotional swings, high school auto accidents, and a revolving door of boyfriends. We had to shop for a little white dress to go under the white graduation robe. We couldn’t have a bright red dress showing through, now could we? This was just one of the activities, plans, and expenses as we prepared for the day we had all worked so very hard for. We had an entire list.

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Is Your Teen Phubbing You? 4 Fixes to Try Now

By Brianna Barrett / Motherhood

When I was growing up, the family joke was that my parents would be able to identify me by my palm (because as a teen I would ask for money with my hand open). Now, we can say we can identify our children by the tops of their heads bent over their phones. Have you ever been talking to someone and noticed they are only half paying attention to you and are staring intently at their phones? If you have a teenager, I’m sure you’ve experienced it. The person is focused on their device while ignoring you—a person in close contact with them. Welcome to the season of phubbing. Phubbing is defined as “the act of ignoring someone you are with and

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The Most Devastating Words You Can Say as Mom

By Darlene Brock / Motherhood

I was listening to the radio a while back, and the three grown men who were hosting began a dialogue about punishments they were given as a child. The list was vast. They laughed through their comparisons of infractions they accomplished and the penalties they were awarded: grounding, car keys taken away, dad’s belt was among them. Then one of these gentlemen paused and said, “I’ll tell you the worst—it’s when my mom said, ‘I’m disappointed in you.’ That one was horrible.” The moaning and commiserating began. “That’s the truth; there’s nothing worse. It makes you feel awful,” one said. “Yeah, my mom said that and I remembered it for days. There is nothing worse than disappointing your mom,” replied another. Now, these

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You Need to Talk to Your Teen Girl About Sex, Here’s How to Do It

By Dr. Zoe / Motherhood

Are you that mom who would rather stick an icepick through your eye than talk to your teen girl about sex (seriously, it doesn’t have to be that bad!)? Or maybe the idea of sex conversations makes you squirm a little. We need to talk, girlfriend! First, let’s talk about why you need to have the conversations. Notice I said conversations. This really should be an ongoing conversation that starts in preschool. But if you are behind the 8 ball, and even if you fear that your daughter may have already had sex, take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. It’s time to talk. The reason why research has demonstrated that abstinence programs have not been successful (teens who participate in

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5 Reasons to Thank Your Prodigal

By Kitti Murray / Faith

As our friends get older, which unavoidably means we’re getting older too, we find we’re welcoming many of them into the Hurting Parents Club. “You’re late,” we sometimes want to say, or “What took you so long?” We don’t say these things out loud because we know that would do absolutely nothing to ease anyone’s pain. And they would never consider they would one day thank their prodigal. But this state of affairs among our more seasoned friends has caused me to want to formally thank our very own “prodigal”, Matt, for rebelling early and vigorously (I’ll get to why I’m grateful for the vigorous part in a minute). I use quotations around Prodigal because even now, Matt wears this label on

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How to Raise Strong, Confident Daughters With Darlene Brock

By Tess Lopez / Motherhood

In episode 63, These Strategies Will Help You Raise Great Kids, of our podcast, This Grit and Grace Life, Darlene Brock, co-founder and president of The Grit and Grace Project, shares some of her own parenting experiences and snippets of wisdom from her new book, Raising Great Girls. Having raised two caring and successful daughters of her own, Darlene penned her book in the hopes of encouraging other moms to push past the difficulties that often come with cultivating young ladies (or young men!). In Raising Great Girls, Darlene outlines various job descriptions, like Creative Counselor and Coach, that a parent must assume in order to mold a balanced daughter. She breaks down three of these job titles within the podcast and

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How to Teach Your Child Not to Hold Prejudices

By Dr. Zoe / Life & Culture, Motherhood

Why does it feel so uncomfortable to talk about race and racism in this country? Deep down in our gut, we know something just isn’t right and that makes us squirm. Humans strive for internal consistency, and when it’s not there we become uncomfortable. A part of our mind knows that we are all one family: the human race. The other part knows that we harbor some racism, stereotypes, prejudice, or discriminatory thoughts. Yes, we do. This makes us uncomfortable. When we become uncomfortable, we actively avoid situations and information likely to increase it. So, it’s normal to feel that way. I invite you to feel it now and keep reading anyway. There is something called multigenerational transmission process, which just means

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Is My Teen Out of Control or Is This Normal? with Dr. Zoe Shaw – 232

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | More“Is my teen out of control, or is this normal behavior? At one point do I need to begin enforcing changes?” These questions often consume moms of teens and preteens, and on this throwback episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender ask psychotherapist and relationship coach Dr. Zoe Shaw for advice. Dr. Zoe discusses how to approach privacy and your teen’s internet and social media use; how to recognize which moments you should step aside and allow your teen to make mistakes, and when it’s time for you to intervene. If you have a teen (or will soon), this episode is filled with the answers to some your

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teenage son hugging mother from behind outside

The Joy Series: Parenting a Teen Is Hard, But I’ve Found Gratitude Among the Grumbles

By Brianna Barrett / Motherhood

Motherhood at any stage is a joyful experience, yet with each stage comes its own challenges. We’ve moved from diapers to building blocks to car keys in the blink of an eye. Parenting a teen is similar to dancing: the music changes often, and we can either change with the music or sit it out. I have found joy in choosing to adapt to the music, and meeting my son right where he is, in that moment. Meeting My Teenage Son Where He’s At Even though life seems to rush at us with so much to do, I love being able to share it with my son. Meeting him where he is has allowed me into his world. He shares his hurts

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