Remarriage | Grit and Grace Life

It’s a Wonderful Thing to Fall in Love Later in Life

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / HerStory, Relationships

Our children and grandchildren met each other for the first time over pizza on a Friday evening. A bonfire was built later that night. Marshmallows were toasted and paired with graham crackers and chocolate, and grandkids were sent back to their cabins sugared up (because this is what grandparents get to do). Dan and I planned an outdoor wedding weekend, having fallen in love later in life. We were surrounded by our adult children, children-in-law, and the grands. Each family occupied their own tiny cabin near a wild and clear river. Grandpa Dan flipped pancakes on Saturday morning at a cook station set up on the deck of a woodsy house. Here is where the bride and her junior bridesmaids, pre-teen granddaughters […]

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This Is Why You Can’t Rely on Looks in a Relationship

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships

It took three years after my husband died to consider dating again. “Father,” I prayed, “if marriage is in your plan, then please lead him to me.” And then—out of curiosity—I listened to a couple of podcasts about dating and tucked away this interesting nugget: “If there are twenty eligible singles in a room, we automatically rule out seventeen of them based on outward appearance and/or body type.” Too short, too thin, too tall, too thick, apparently we rely on looks. In the course of time, I dated a couple of different men. And then, I met Dan while interviewing him for an article about a shower truck ministry for the homeless. Dan might have fallen into the category of the seventeen

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5 Ways Blended Families Can Be Happy and Healthy

By Cherie Shaw / Relationships

I didn’t set out to be a “stepmother;” I never thought I would have a “second” husband. The words, “divorce,” “single mom,” “stepparent,” and “blended family” were used to describe others’ lives, but not my own. But when a husband decides he would rather be with another, I sign papers. I clean out his closet, place boxes on the porch, and figure out how I will do it on my own, how I will survive this ending, this sadness. And with his leaving, the labels rush in. I’m single, alone. I’m divorced, and it feels like a scarlet letter, and everyone knows my shame. My wounded heart bleeds, and I wonder if it will ever recover. Hearts do heal, and soon mine

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how i'm making my later in life love story one worth telling

My Later-in-Life Love Story Is One Worth Telling

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) The bunny that lives under our deck is mowing our lawn, one blade of grass at a time. A misshaped “V” of geese just flew overhead, so close I could hear the whir of their wings. A cool breeze is playing with the wind chimes, and I’m wrapped in a fuzzy, hand-knitted shawl. We live in a mountainous region. Even though there’s a feeling of autumn in the air, I am not fooled. It will be summer again and then fall, and summer again before it officially settles into fall, after which the next day will be winter. One Year Into Our Remarriage I love the change of seasons. My husband, Dan, and

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Remarriage Later in Life: Are the Complications Worth It?

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Relationships, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) “Do I really want to do this?” I asked myself. I boarded a roller coaster car about four years into widowhood. The lettering on the side of the car read: “Dating and Possible Remarriage.” The bumpy ride was a lot of loop-de-loops and scary ups and downs. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to remain on this not-so-fun ride. “It would be so much easier to never remarry.” I’m Afraid of Remarriage Because… Take family, for example. I’d been married to my first husband 41 years. These sisters-in-law were my sisters, the sisters I never had while growing up sandwiched between two brothers. These nieces and nephews—they were mine. Would a new husband

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Ask Dr. Zoe – When Do I Introduce My New Man to My Kids?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Dating Diva’ Asked: I’m a single mom with a young son. What’s the best way to introduce my child to someone I’m dating? When do I do it? And how? What are some things to avoid him getting hurt? Dating Diva Dr. Zoe Answered: With so much conflicting information out there, it’s easy to feel confused, fearful and guilty when it comes to dating life and your kids. So here’s what I know. You’re probably taking this introduction part way too seriously. Yes, I know this is serious stuff—relationships, parenting—all wrapped in one. But this is a long haul type of thing. The introduction part is just the tip of the iceberg. So take a deep breath. There are certainly ways to

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Divorced and Remarried: The Life I Never Wanted and the Life I’m Blessed To Have

By Adina Larson / Relationships, Best Of

I often find myself in a weird place. It’s a place where there is a push and pull between what has happened, what could have been, and what is happening. Divorced and remarried. And I often find myself feeling guilty or ashamed when I experience this juxtaposition of happiness and sadness. I Am Divorced I am divorced. My ex-husband and I have three sons together. When I got married in 2011 at the age of 24, all I saw in front of me was a happy, hopeful, exciting life that he and I were beginning together. We had a lot of good, fun times together; and, of course like any relationship, but especially marriage, there were some really tough, tense times. Those hard

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After Losing My Husband To Suicide, One Good Man Restored Our Family

By Amanda-Lee Pitzer / Audio Articles, Relationships

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) “I miss Daddy.” When I hear those words, I feel like someone took my heart and tossed it on the floor. Like a glass falling onto tile, my heart shatters into a million pieces. My big, brave 10-year-old, who has always been very mature for his age, turns back into a little boy that just wants his daddy back. I try so hard to hold the tears back as I watch his fall onto his cheeks. He has told me on more than one occasion that I’m not allowed to cry in front of him. It’s the night before a brand new school year, and my normally confident boy is a bundle of

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Struggling Stepmom: What Helps My Relationship with His Ex?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Confused Fiance’ Asked: How do I go about repairing the relationship with the mother of my fiance’s children? I don’t like her, I think she is a very childish and spiteful person, but there should be some sort of casual friendship between us, for the sake of the children. She doesn’t seem to care and throws the fact that she’s their mother in my face. I’ve explained to her on several accounts that I’m not trying to and could never replace her, but that she should be appreciative that I treat them as my own when I have them with me. My fiance and I are getting married this summer and all of this drama she’s causing has me worried about how

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From Widow To Wife, Julie’s Getting Married – 145

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreThis one gets personal. Co-host Julie Graham has already shared a bit of her story—a difficult childhood, married at 21, widowed at 33, and spending the last three years as a single, working mom to her spunky little boy. Back in the dating world, she discovered a gap. There wasn’t much for single Christian women wanting to date online, much less for moms. It seemed like the message was that it was wrong or unsafe, to be avoided at all costs. But, she found her way, employing the advice of a friend of the show and Licensed Therapist, Dr. Zoe Shaw. Now, she’s preparing to become Mrs.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Dealing with Blended Families and Different Household Rules

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘A Mom Trying to Figure It Out’ Asked: Blended Family Rules I seem to have a mess of questions lately. Most all revolve around my blended family where children are raised in two households. I would like to know how to thrive not only survive (surviving seems to be the best I can do some days). One of many questions I have is how to handle the things a stepchild (age 9) brings into my home that I am not comfortable with or how I am parenting my biological child (age 3). Specifically, things like violent video games allowed for the stepchild that I don’t allow for my own. I know that as they grow older, there will only be more instances

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Why I Started Praying for Your Husband Daily

By Julie (Graham) Bender / Faith

I have a heart for marriage. Always have. Since I was a little girl (without a mom, dad, or any example of it to look to), I always desired it and understood its great worth. Then I married young. 21 to be exact. And I was married 11.5 (hard) years to Paul before I was widowed, unexpectedly while separated from him. I’m about to marry (Or should I say, “remarry?” I feel like I need to learn the terms here. It’s all so weird under such different circumstances this time!) my true gift from God to me and my 6-year-old son. So, it’s with that context that I say this: marriage is a beautiful calling… one that cannot be entered into lightly,

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How to Thrive as a Blended Family With Dr. Zoe Shaw – 131

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | More Families are together a LOT these days, and this can be challenging! But blended families? They are facing unique struggles. With this in mind, we invited licensed therapist and relationship expert, Dr. Zoe Shaw, back to share some practical success strategies for blending families. Even if this isn’t your family dynamic, these are insights we all can use, especially now. Co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Graham ask a lot of questions but do even more listening as Dr. Zoe discusses jealousy, healthy boundaries, comparison, and house rules. Listen in and share these helpful tips with another grit and grace mama today! Viewing in an app? Full

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If You Wait for Marriage, Will Your Sex Life Be Boring?

By Dr. Zoe / Best Of, Relationships

So, a client got me thinking. He was discussing waiting until marriage to have sex. He expressed his respect for that choice, but also his concern as a dating, single male. He said, “What if I marry her and then find out that we are not sexually compatible?” I can certainly understand his concern. Some people would say, well, if you have never had sex before, you won’t know any difference and it won’t matter. But the majority of people who are abstinent are re-committing to abstinence (some coming out of marriages). They’ve had prior sexual experiences and are worried about sexual compatibility because, well, they actually will know the difference. So, I decided to do some research into this issue, realizing it is one that many couples are facing. In part, the idea

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3 Things That the Movies Got Wrong About Love

By Joyell Nevins / Life & Culture, Relationships

Ice cream, popcorn, wine or tea (depending on your preference), and your favorite romantic lead: the perfect recipe for entertainment. I personally was a sucker for Leo and still am for Hugh Grant and Jude Law—that British accent gets me every time. Whether you’re with your best girlfriend or it’s just you and the boob tube, a chick flick night is a favorite event of the feminine side of our culture (it permeates the male side too; they’re just less quick to admit it). But what I have discovered it is not, is a recipe for real life. Some of our favorite scenes and classic lines are actually the opposite of the truth. When we search for love or model our relationships after what

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I Said I Would Never Date Again, but Then…

By Marlys Johnson Lawry / Faith

My children have given their blessing for me to date and remarry, but my son had one stipulation: “As long as he has a yacht.” Although I’ve been deeply content as a widow and there are no boyfriend possibilities, I drafted an inventory of the basic requirements. Owning a yacht is not on my list. “You shouldn’t limit yourself to a list,” a friend cautioned. “You might miss some really great opportunities.” But, if we’re setting out to make a major decision—say, purchasing a house—then don’t most home buyers have a price point, general location, and square footage in mind? And if a great house in the right school district (with a short commute to work) presents itself, but we wanted wood

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Remarriage—5 Tips for How to Make it Work

By Darlene Brock / Relationships

In the words of Samuel Johnson, remarriage is, “The triumph of hope over experience.” Hope should remain that a healthy second marriage can be found. To do that, here are a few tips to ponder before taking that next, fateful step. 1. Don’t hang on to past emotions. Whether you are widowed or divorced, there are emotions you are left with that must be dealt with. A new marriage will have its own set of relationship challenges to work out, so the addition of old problems with the new ones will only make things more difficult. 2. Be honest with yourself. Whether widowed or divorced, you must be willing to look at your past relationship and assess your role. We all can improve

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