First, I’m no expert, but I’ve learned a thing or two in my 10 years of marriage. Namely, it takes a LOT of prayer. And I don’t mean praying as a couple.
What I am saying is that instead of complaining or nagging (which we all do), pray for your husband as part of your daily or at least regular routine. It will be a worthy investment—not only for him but for you too.
There are several reasons every woman should do this. (And I don’t mean only if you’re currently married! If you have a desire to be married one day, or at least are open to the idea that you may get married, I encourage you to begin praying now.)
I’ve found 3 great benefits:
1. I grow in my relationship with God. Here’s the deal, the more you talk to God, the more you share your thoughts, fears, disappointments, questions… The closer you get to Him. That’s how relationships work, right?
2. I grow in love for my husband. Yep, that’s right! As I think about him and pray for him, I am reminded of the 10,000 little reasons I married him. If I’m honest, I can get caught up in the 10 little things that I find annoying. When I choose to focus on the fine, good parts of the man I married, I am reminded of so much that is loveable. Philippians 4:8 says, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” When we do that, the annoying stuff begins to fade.
3. I find a change in perspective. When I’m taking my most honest thoughts to God, He often speaks back truth, wisdom, correction or encouragement. This helps me to see either my husband or myself more clearly. Most often, I recognize the ginormous list of things I could be working on myself instead of remaining focused on the few things that I’m angry with my husband about. When you learn to pray instead of whining to a friend, or worse—nagging your husband—you begin to see the situation more as it is and less as a big deal. At least, that’s what I’ve found.
Okay, so if that’s why I should pray, how, practically, should I?
When I was about two years into my marriage, I found myself pretty disenchanted. I believed the lie of our culture—that marriage should make me HAPPY. Sadly, it’s not true. I believe that the Bible teaches that marriage is more about my devotion to God than it is about my happiness. This is because it’s the relationship in my life that is meant to mirror my relationship with Jesus Himself. So, once I found that my marriage wasn’t making me as happy as I thought it should, while also firmly believing that I was in it for life, I sought some answers.
I found the book, The Power of a Praying Wife, and it changed me.
The book breaks down a husband’s life into specific areas you can (and should) pray for. The author includes scripture references for each topic too, which I highly recommend. She covers things like his work, faith, friendships, health, fears and fatherhood. I promise, it’s a great resource.
Even if you don’t get the book, use this as a guide for how to pray for your man! Each day, take two minutes to pick an area and lift it up to God. Ask God to help, grow, stretch and protect him. Ask God to be present and active in his life. And, ask God to work on that area in your life, too.
One caveat: don’t expect that your husband will return the favor. If that’s your goal, don’t bother. That’s what this whole thing is about. Growing as a wife, and serving your husband—not getting your needs met. I know, harsh. But I’m saying it to me, too.
I encourage you to start this habit today! You’ll be so glad you did.
You’ll also like You Didn’t Marry A Grown Up Husband, 5 Things I’ve I Learned in a Decade of Wifing, Marriage Advice That Will Change Things More Than You Think…, and 5 Ways to Improve Your Relationship With Your Man.