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5 Things I Needed My Parents to Tell Me as a Young Perfectionist

By / Motherhood, Featured

You’re such a failure. Get it together. You’re worthless. I gritted my teeth, fighting tears as I re-read the fat red “B+” on my essay. Defeated, I walked out of my middle school. Numb, I slumped into the minivan. “How was your day?” Mom asked. I burst into tears. She pulled over, squeezing me tight. My salty tears splotched her worn cardigan. She whispered, “You’re not a failure. You’re amazing. I love you.” The Power of a Parent’s Words Oh, the power of a parent’s words. Her encouragement made me feel safe from my inner critic. Maybe I’m not a failure? Parents’ attitudes forms a child’s view of themselves, for better or worse. As a coach working with young perfectionists to rebuild […]

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Differing Sex Drives in Marriage—When He Wants More and You Don’t

Differing Sex Drives in Marriage: When He Wants More and You Don’t

By / Relationships, Featured

Remember when you and your husband were in pre-marital counseling, starry-eyed and excited to begin your life together, and the counselor warned you that over time, you might have differing libidos and that it could present a problem in your marriage? Oh wait—that didn’t happen, did it? No one warns us about that. Libido: Desire For Sex Libido is defined as the desire for sex. This is influenced by a myriad of things over the course of a marriage: stress, pregnancy, differing schedules, hormones, and psychological and social factors. Some women think: This is just the way I am. I don’t have a high sex drive. And they stop there in frustration. But it’s not that simple. All behavior makes sense in

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I Thought He'd Propose on Valentine's Day—He Broke Up Instead

I Thought He’d Propose on Valentine’s Day—He Broke Up Instead

By / Relationships, Featured

It was Valentine’s Day. We sat on my small, tan microfiber loveseat in my sparsely decorated apartment. The night had been perfect. Dinner at our favorite local restaurant. A bouquet of flowers along with gifts of chocolates and a stuffed animal. My heart swelled in anticipation of how I dreamed the night would end. A Change in Relationship Status I knew six months wasn’t very long, but for a girl in her senior year of college in a town where most of my friends had been engaged by now, I felt the clock ticking. At the perfect moment, just when I thought it wouldn’t happen, he would release my hand to retrieve one more gift from his pocket. He would slip from

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Is Compromise in Marriage the Only Way? Try This Instead

By / Relationships, Featured

I remember sitting in pre-marital counseling 20 years ago listening to the pastor go through all sorts of items before I got married the first time. I don’t remember too much, to be honest, but I do remember when he told us not to compromise in marriage. He specifically said, “There is going to come a time where you cannot agree on what to do. Perhaps it is where to spend Christmas—you both want to spend it with your families, and can’t seem to come to a decision without erupting into argument. You know that if you pick one side over the other, one of you is not going to be happy. Maybe another time you both want to vacation in two

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5 Ways to Make Adult Friends in the Lonely Age of Social Media

5 Ways to Make Adult Friends in the Lonely Age of Social Media

By / Relationships, Featured

As I scroll through my list of friend requests on social media, I usually ask myself the same questions: if my life was falling apart, could I call on this person? Would they drop everything and be over in a few minutes with a tasty meal or a listening ear or to watch my kids quick while I scream into a pillow? And the answer is almost always “no.” Today, I am “friends” with thousands of people, but I’ve never felt more alone. Why Is It So Easy to Make Friends as a Kid? When I was five years old and regularly wore a pink tutu or my beloved red cowgirl boots and pigtails, I met my soulmate. Her name was Crystal.

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7 Easy and Natural Methods to Boost Your Immunity 2

7 Easy and Natural Methods to Boost Your Immunity

By / Health & Beauty, Featured, Life & Culture

Ah, winter. ‘Tis the season for crackling fires, family and friends gathered around the table, and sledding down the snow-covered hillsides. It’s undoubtedly a favorite time of year for many, but the chilly winter months can quickly lose their luster the minute germs make a debut. The influx of coughs, colds, and flus seem heckbent on ruining all the fun. Many pesky illnesses that sprout up during the winter months are viral, which mean antibiotics won’t do the trick. These bugs seem to have no qualms with keeping entire households homebound for weeks; it can take up to two weeks for them to run their course. Prevention is key, so wash those hands frequently and start boosting your immunity by trying these

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Announcing Smart Living In Small Bites Guidebooks!

By / Life & Culture, Featured

Do you ever wish you had a guidebook for life’s challenges? Challenges that feel insurmountable, and you would love guidance from someone who has already traversed the road you find yourself on? Something easy to read that allows you to feel comfortable with your hurts, feelings, and thoughts? We created those books in the Smart Living in Small Bites series. The first four are on sale now in paperback and Amazon Kindle eBook. Hard Marriage, Suicide Loss, Anxiety Struggles, and Past Sexual Abuse are the first of the subjects we are speaking to. Our writers, just like you, have faced challenges with nowhere to turn. This shared experience led us to help others facing what we had already faced. Each book in the

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You Need to Talk to Your Teen Girl About Sex, Here's How to Do It

You Need to Talk to Your Teen Girl About Sex, Here’s How to Do It

By / Motherhood, Featured

Are you that mom who would rather stick an icepick through your eye than talk to your teen girl about sex (seriously, it doesn’t have to be that bad!)? Or maybe the idea of sex conversations makes you squirm a little. We need to talk, girlfriend! First, let’s talk about why you need to have the conversations. Notice I said conversations. This really should be an ongoing conversation that starts in preschool. But if you are behind the 8 ball, and even if you fear that your daughter may have already had sex, take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay. It’s time to talk. The reason why research has demonstrated that abstinence programs have not been successful (teens who participate in

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