Single mom-hood, the hardest job ever but the most rewarding.
The best way to give some insight on being a single mom is to be transparent and let you in on my journey. So with that being said, let me take you back a few years to January 21, 2014. This was just an ordinary day in my life, so I thought. Little did I know my whole world would be turned upside down and ripped apart. That night my journey as a single mom started when my husband of 11 years committed suicide, leaving me with two sons, ages 12 and five, and a 10-year-old daughter. Now all the details leading up to his death, well, that’s another story for another day.
There are many curveballs life can throw you that lead to being a single mom, such as parenting outside of marriage, death, divorce, or whatever the case may be and each one has their own challenges. But, in my humble opinion, death has got to be the most challenging. Let me explain my take on that. We went from being a family of five to abruptly a family of four, so on top of everything a mom in general has to do, I had to take on the role of dad while trying to grieve my husband’s death and tend to my children’s grief as well. The whys, what happeneds, and where’s my daddy—all questions to which I have no answer even to this day. It was a hard pill to swallow and quite frankly one I felt I was not equipped to ingest.
Take heart, my friend. Even in the challenges, the mundane, the frustrations, you can grip this season of life and make it what you want it to be. There was and still are times where I just have to make it through the seconds of the day. The beauty is that it does get better, as I’m living proof. The children change, as do their needs, and you become acclimated to your new normal. I look at it this way, I get to watch my kids grow and mature and help shape them into strong, kind, and loving individuals. And I’ve done the best I could.
So, I want to give you 3 things to walk away with in hopes you will find encouragement and inspiration on your road:
1. You time.
Sweet mom, this is a challenge but it is so important. It is a must to set aside some time to do you. Whether it’s a five-minute break in the bathroom, a quick coffee break, or stepping outside to catch your breath. You cannot pour continuously into the cup of others including our little ones without refilling your own. So prioritize your schedule to pamper yourself. Trust me, it is so worth it.
2. Connect with others.
This is huge so hear me out. Your tribe does not have to only be you and your kiddos. It is so important to surround yourself with positive people who bring out the best in you. Whether it’s a mom group, church family, or your closest girlfriends, get out of the house away from the routines, to-do lists, and the mundane things that happen every day. If we do not reach out to connect with others, especially as single moms, we tend to isolate ourselves. Believe me, honey, I’ve been there and it gets lonely. Loneliness will sneak in, but it can’t set in where it’s not wanted.
3. It is and will be ok.
You are an awesome mom no matter what anyone says. Right where you are in the middle of dinner, laundry, car line, busy schedules, etc., it is and will be ok. Life is hard and single parenting is even harder, but you are doing an amazing job and one day your kids will thank you for loving them, nurturing them, playing with them no matter what had to be done. They will grow to understand, but in the meantime enjoy this season of life and embrace each challenge with grit and grace. We all have it; we just have to dig deep to find it.
My encouragement to you as I end is no matter which journey to single motherhood is yours, always remember single moms have the same struggles, roadblocks, and chaos. But intertwined in all of the mess is a beautiful thing that is evolving. We, single moms, need each other and we need to encourage and love on one another. We are in this together no matter what.
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