Every Woman Is Unique, but This Is What We All Struggle With

I have spent the last four years of my career mentoring women through online health groups and business coaching. I spend every day talking to women who have fears, doubts, insecurities, but more importantly who have dreams and aspirations of growing both for themselves and their families.

I love it. One of the biggest discoveries I have made through my experience is how women as a whole are all very unique but also very similar. I find comfort and sometimes heartache in that.

Here are five basic truths I have learned on my journey while working one on one with so many wonderfully different women.

We Are Resilient

I love a good comeback story. What I have found time and time again, is that almost every woman I’ve worked with has been the underdog at some point in their life. In fact, many are in this phase when they come to work with me. I get to watch women withstand the storm and then take on their literal comeback.

If you want to see a woman’s ability to recover quickly, look no further than pregnancy and childbirth. You don’t have to be a mother to be amazed by this process. All those months of growing a babe and laboring and delivering a little human. We are resilient.

We Aren’t Present

I might have started on a positive, but the next three points are areas that I see where most women would benefit to grow.

A lot of times women can be aimless with their time or looking to the next thing on their calendar and miss out on the moment. I’ve come to realize that the thing about being present is that it takes some serious discipline and practice. However, it is entirely possible and worth it.

It takes some planning on your calendar and to-do list, and blocking off intentional time to be wherever you are and with whoever you’re with. If you are just flying by the seat of your pants, you are a slave to your day. Don’t simply respond to what comes at you during the day, organize your life around your priorities so that you can fully take advantage of each day you’re given. Whether it’s with your girlfriends on a night out, playing happily with your kiddos without the distraction of your phone, or soaking up the love on the date night with your significant other, plan ahead so that you can enjoy it.

Discipline around this takes time to cultivate, but imagine being carefree and present, knowing that you got the main things done for the day. I beg all women to be more thoughtful with their time so they can fully experience life’s little moments and not sit behind their phones.

We Let the Mean Girl Win

Right here, this is the toughest part of my job. I have to confront other women’s inner mean girl every day. What do I mean by that? I’m saying almost all of us have an inner critic. One that is telling us we aren’t worthy, pretty, smart, or capable enough.

Sometimes she is subtle and sometimes she is a raging Regina George from the movie Mean Girls herself. Know her? Not Regina, your internal antagonist?

What I have found is that by helping other women call her out and shut her down, it helps them get past those fears, doubts, and worries. It takes time, thoughtfulness, and some accountability from me as their coach or even their friend to grow in that. It is a neat process to watch a woman become more confident in who they actually are and leave that mean girl behind.

We Waste Time Waiting to Be Motivated

We waste a lot of time as women being afraid or waiting for the “right time.” You know, waiting only makes things worse. It’s something called the spotlight effect; it magnifies the fear or the procrastination.

I read a book that really helped me in this area, and I would recommend it to you. It’s called The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. The premise is whenever you don’t feel like doing something (whether big or small), you count backward from five, and by one you insight action.

Seems like a silly trick, but next time you don’t want to do the dishes or wake up when your alarm goes off or workout or start that new venture or take a leap of faith, count 5-4-3-2-1. When you get to one, just do it.

You don’t need motivation at all; you need action.

We Need One Another

I have fallen in love with this idea; even more so when it goes beyond thought and turns into women championing one another. So much so that I strive every day to create a culture in my health groups and coaching team that cultivates community and support among women.

I use to be the girl who only “got along” with boys. Just so you know, that was a lot of insecurity on my part and lack of friendship with other women. I isolated myself because of who I thought I was, but the great news is we are meant to grow, and that’s what I decided to do.

Over these four years, I have come to love working with other ladies. Not just by teaching them, but also through learning from them. I have a deep-rooted respect for women as a whole, and I know that I can learn something from anyone—even if she is vastly different from me.

If you don’t have a community cheering you on and uplifting you through life, I strongly suggest you find one locally, online, or both. Research has even suggested that having a community supports a longer, healthier, and happier life. I would say that I have seen this claim play out firsthand in my own and other’s lives.

Being in the trenches with women each and every day, I have grown to be seriously dazzled at what each of us is capable of, but even more so what we are capable of when we support one another.