Ask Dr. Zoe - Is It My Fault He Hasn't Proposed?

Ask Dr. Zoe – Is It My Fault He Hasn’t Proposed?

‘Ms Highly Favored’ Asked:

My boyfriend of 5 years is an introvert. We live together. Going in this he knew I wanted to be married within 3 years. I have not met his children, he doesn’t take me around his family, and he gets upset when I want to talk about marriage or wedding date or proposal. He says it’s not a problem and he loves me, wants to marry me but I haven’t given him the chance to propose. Well, I feel like now at this point I don’t want to marry him because it feels like it would be fake.

Dr. Zoe Answered:

You’ve stayed two years too long. You have been together for five years and you have never met his own children and he doesn’t bring you around his family? He has no intention of marrying you. I am being bluntly honest with you.

He gets upset when you question him because he doesn’t want to marry you. He is gaslighting you, saying that it is your fault that you aren’t married. It’s not your fault. It’s his choice. In the last five years, he has had a chance to propose. He hasn’t because he doesn’t want to.

Whether he loves you or not is inconsequential. Many women get caught up in the idea that if he loves you, then it’s okay to wait it out. A man can “love you” forever with no intention of marrying you. It’s time to move on. You deserve a man who wants you to be a part of his life. You deserve a man who respects your desire to talk about things that are important to you.

You haven’t wasted five years. You have learned a valuable lesson that you will take into your next relationships. Don’t settle for less. Don’t believe what a man says. Believe what he does. I know this is hard, but rip the bandaid off quickly and get to the work of healing.

You’ve got this! It just takes some grit and grace!

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