Ready to Be a Mom? 4 Ways to Know

I feel like this can’t start without a full disclaimer: The decision to have kids, become a mother or start a family is a call you should ultimately make yourself with the kind support of your husband and Lord’s guidance.

Personally though, I was able to identify several things along the way that I would call my guiding lights. They were signs to me that the time has come; that I am ready to be a mom, and that the Lord’s plan for us is to start growing our family.

You know, even as a very blessed woman living in a loving marriage, there were times when I still hadn’t been quite sure if the time was right—and then it clicked and snapped and shuffled, and I felt it. So, here are the four things that helped me realize I was ready to be a mom and gave me the confidence to say, “Let’s do it!

4 Things that Helped Me Realized I Was Ready to Be a Mom

1. I found motherhood role models.

When I met my current boss, I was in awe. She is a hands-on mom who didn’t lose her identity after becoming a mother. Don’t get me wrong—my family has a lot of amazing mother figures. But for most of them, motherhood was and is their one and only fulfillment in life.

I knew very early on that I couldn’t do that. It just isn’t in my nature. I wanted to be a mom, but I knew I still had to keep something of my own. That thing to fill up my cup so I can pour out from it for my family. For me, that cup filler has always been my work, so witnessing my amazing boss actually doing it well instilled a great confidence and calm in me.

Suddenly, I saw it was possible. I not only have an inspiring boss but someone who could potentially guide me based on their own experience.

2. My friends and I were in the same stage of life and could relate.

Adult friendships tend to be strange and delicate. You have this amazing set of friends, then you all start your adult lives, and you begin to drift apart. Some of you are single, some are planning their weddings, some travel, and some build their homes while others build their careers. I was often surprised and saddened to find out that the range of topics I had in common with my friends before adulthood took off had since shrunk to a size of a peanut.

Thankfully most of my friendships survived, perhaps because sharing the same outlook on life enables you to hold a good conversations. And then it happened—my dearest friends started to think about starting a family around the time I did. Suddenly I felt supported, seen, understood. I felt strong companionship and hope that we can again tackle things together.

It isn’t vital to have friends who are exactly in the same place as you are, but it is relieving to know they have similar thoughts. Of course, new friends can come with new stages in life, but for me personally, there is something reassuring in knowing I might walk into that new territory with some of my dearest friends by my side. It also helps immensely to be able to talk about all the ups and downs with someone close to you who can relate on a deep, personal level.

3. I’d checked off all the goals I set for myself.

I don’t doubt that becoming a mom will be my greatest accomplishment, but there were still some things I wanted to check off my bucket list before. These were things I felt I needed to get done before I can try to be a mother.

They weren’t only career goals. They ranged from education, establishing a loving and stable household, having deep conversations with my husband and creating some memories just the two of us, and yes, having experienced at least a couple of years building my career.

As an organized and somehow ambitious person, I felt the weight lifting off of my shoulders with each goal I checked off that imaginary list (although funnily enough, I never really put them on paper). My inner peace and confidence grew after my list was complete, and I was so happy I chose to pace myself and play by my own rules. I just felt ready.

4. My husband was ready—and my family was ready to support me.

For some, this could be the only thing on the list. I certainly understand and love that. For others, the ‘last but not least’ phrase could apply here. Seeing my husband evolve into a really impressive father figure, ready to step up into his new role, really helped me imagine us parenting together.

I’m writing this a few days after finding out that I am expecting my first baby. I hope to still see these guiding lights along the way, and I hope if you are in a place where you are thinking about becoming a mother, your own guiding lights appear and shine as bright as you certainly deserve.

(Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich)

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We won’t sugarcoat it—being a mom isn’t all rainbows and sprinkles. But it can be rewarding when you approach it with the right mindset. Learn more in this podcast episode: How Do We Handle the Messiness of Motherhood? with Laila Schell – 168