We recently decided to pull our twins out of school and homeschool them for 4th grade in an effort to preserve what’s left of their childhood. After our move across the country last summer, that was the one aspect of all of it that I kept having a hard time with: I did not have peace.
As I get older, I am realizing more and more our gut is our compass. So, I changed my mind, and guess what? That’s okay. We can start off one way and decide that’s not for us and turn around mid-destination. Life allows U-turns.
We arrived in our new state last summer, and last fall was the first time I worked outside the home after having twins. At that time, I wrote an article titled, “This Mama is Getting her Pink Back”. I had heard that flamingos lose their pink while caring for their young, and as their babies get older, the mothers start to get their pink back. When I got my job at the bank, it was around the same time I started writing again, and I could feel my color come back. Parts of my life were now beyond caretaking for my family. I did get my pink back and it’s been wonderful.
Just because I have changed my mind does not mean I am going to lose my color. Now I know that we must care for ourselves too, as mothers and wives. You cannot pour from an empty pitcher.
So as this summer starts slow, and I am home after stepping into a smaller role at the bank I am reminded that it’s okay to change our minds. We can reinvent ourselves many times in life. It is exciting and scary to try new things and step outside of our comfort zones, but I know I am not alone. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Whether it’s returning to work or stepping down, I know I am not alone.
This year was busy, working outside the home, living in a trailer, sick kids, (we had strep five times) moving onto our land to start building our home. It was chaos—sometimes hard, sometimes funny—mostly wonderful chaos. And in the year, I have found that my heart is the fullest here at home taking care of my family. So, I changed my mind.
I will be homeschooling and starting a farm as well as working at the bank. I’ll even be getting my license to sell life insurance in Tennessee. I had it in California and I have enjoyed helping people succeed financially for over 20 years. I really do enjoy seeing that I helped a family with one of their most important decisions or plans. So, I am trading the chaos for different chaos; new chaos.
Try Something New—Or Go Back to Something Old!
I am laughing while this is happening because I have not grown up on a farm. I was raised in suburban neighborhoods where we went to the grocery store for what we needed. And here I am at 45, starting a farm. Also reserving the right to change my mind again and again if that’s what my compass and heart and God lead me to do. I am open to all of it. As much as I am a planner, I am realizing that God’s plans are greater than our own.
I’m reserving the right to change my mind again and again if that’s what my compass and heart and God lead me to do.
You can change directions many times in your life. I was a banker and then had a camper rental business. I went to college later in life to get a bachelor’s degree and then became a stay-at-home mom. Nothing is set in stone unless it’s set in stone.
If you are wondering if that hobby could make you money—try it. Will that new job be better? Is the new town you’ve been scouting going to provide the lifestyle you daydream about? Change your mind; stick your foot in the water. Do not be afraid. You would be surprised how nice it is once you allow yourself to swim in the deep end.
I changed my mind last fall and went to work for a wonderful place. Then I changed my mind again, opting to work in a smaller role. And again, choosing to homeschool our kids. And that’s okay: We can change our minds. God has so many wonderful gifts for us if we would just be brave enough to trust in him. So enjoy where you are at and know it’s okay to change your mind and be somewhere completely new next year.
Feeling stuck where you are? Here’s how to shake yourself out of the mundane: You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck Anymore – 160