Tomorrow, I return to the working world for the first time since I left J.P. Morgan Chase in 2014 to be a stay-at home mom to my twins. I have never regretted that decision, even in the moments where I could not afford a purchase or in the tantrum-riddled days where I could not seem to catch my breath until they were fast asleep. Looking back on these last 8 years, it all went so fast.
A Helpful Flamingo Analogy
My niece recently shared with me a little trivia about flamingos and how they lose their pink color while taking care of their young. As the flamingos start to get more independent, the mama starts to get her pink back.
I am so grateful for the analogy as I prepare to return to work outside the home. It has helped remind me that its okay to accept the position right now. That my babies are children, and they are growing more independent every day. That is the saddest part of motherhood—our job is to raise them to not need us.
I have prayed and thought of this very position since the twins started first grade: “How great would it be if I could go back to banking while they are in school?” And as much as I have thought of this, I was not planning for it now.
God Decided I Was Ready to Get My Pink Back
My family and I just relocated to Tennessee from California, and we are living in a travel trailer while we buy some land and build a barndominium. So, God has a great sense of humor and gives me this gift now. Apparently, he thinks it’s a good time for me to get my pink back and return to work outside the home. And I am going to go with it. He has not failed us yet.
For my family, it’s a great fit. I am aware not all of us get that lucky. Some mamas have had to drop off her littles way too soon for her heart. And some mamas wish they could work outside the home. Either way, there is no perfect mama.
We all lose our pink and we all need to get it back. Having a baby and raising a family takes every waking moment of our energy some days. I have always tried to remember that I cannot pour from an empty pitcher. This has helped me remember to practice self-care so that I can better love my family.
Tomorrow has come too soon for this mama’s heart. As excited as I am to return to banking and the adult world of employment for actual currency and not just hugs and kisses. I am reminded that it means my littles are turning into big’s before my very eyes.
Mama: Choose to Enjoy Where You’re At
Why must we choose as women to be good at one thing or another? Why do we feel pressure to make money when we’re home but feel guilt while at work?
I am excited for this next season of my life where I can earn some money and help others with something I am passionate about. I have spent many days and hours taking care of my family, and the reality is that although I start a job outside the home tomorrow, I have many years ahead of me with my current role. The mother is the heart of the home and for me, that will always be my favorite position. Even the pay has its perks.
So as this mama starts to get her pink back, I will try not to cry for the time that has gone too fast but look forward in excitement for the times that are coming in the home, in my career, and all the things between. This mama is getting her pink back and I couldn’t be more grateful for the journey.
Does motherhood ever feel more challenging than you’d anticipated? We hope you find encouragement in this story: How Do I Overcome Destructive Anger and Burnout in Motherhood? with Natalie Hixson – 201