In the words of Samuel Johnson, remarriage is, “The triumph of hope over experience.” Hope should remain that a healthy second marriage can be found. To do that, here are a few tips to ponder before taking that next, fateful step.
1. Don’t hang on to past emotions.
Whether you are widowed or divorced, there are emotions you are left with that must be dealt with. A new marriage will have its own set of relationship challenges to work out, so the addition of old problems with the new ones will only make things more difficult.
2. Be honest with yourself.
Whether widowed or divorced, you must be willing to look at your past relationship and assess your role. We all can improve in our relationship-building traits; this is a good time for self-examination.
3. Don’t expect a clone.
A new relationship is—by its very definition—new. The person you are no longer with is not the person with whom you are entering a new marriage. Don’t expect the same traits, personality, or nature. You have to see them as they are, not as a reflection of what was.
Hope should remain that a healthy second marriage can be found.
4. Choose well.
You are older, smarter, and more intuitive than you may have been before. Don’t let your emotions determine your relationship selection; let your brain take the lead.
5. Enter with hope.
There is such a thing as a new beginning. Even though experience has taught you life lessons that may have been difficult, use the wisdom you’ve gained and trust that you are much more prepared now than you’ve ever been before.
So, I contend with Samuel and believe that experience can lead to hope. Taking time to process the lessons learned from the past can always create a better future, even when it comes to marriage.
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