Alright, ladies, let’s tackle one of the biggest questions in our minds when we’re interested in a guy: Should we ask him out? He’s really handsome, funny, you enjoy hanging out with him, and you want to take it to the next level. But what do we always do? We constantly question if we should ask him out! Is that acceptable?
I’m here to tell you, of course! Ask him out! It’s 2019; It’s your year! Ask the guy out for goodness sake.
I’m sure you’ve probably done some googling for tips and tricks on how to ask a guy out. (Don’t worry, we’ve all done it!) After my own research on this topic, I stumbled across a little video put together by BuzzFeed. They sat down a bunch of guys and asked them the question: “Should women should ask men out?” To my surprise, they actually had some insightful information.
From this video, talking to friends, and even discussing the topic in my communication courses at Florida Gulf Coast University, I’ve discovered five different reasons why it’s completely okay for a woman to ask a man out first.
Let’s break down why and how you can do this.
1. When in doubt, ask him out. Clear the air, and clear the confusion.
Say you’ve met the guy a couple of times. He’s friends with some of your friends, and you think he’s super attractive. Rather than wasting your time trying to give him enough nonverbal signals to show you’re interested, you could jump right to the point—ask him out! This prevents you from doubting yourself over and over and asking him out first also helps you know if he’s interested in you. Oftentimes men are not even sure if we’re interested in them (well, maybe all of the time). Regardless, men question our nonverbals just as much as we question theirs. To minimize any confusion, it’s always best to clearly express in words that you are interested. Now, this doesn’t have to be formal, but it should be straightforward. If now isn’t the time for a blatant, “Will you go on a date with me?” question, it can be as casual as, “Hey, let’s get dinner one night when you’re free.” You can always ask to grab coffee or lunch, too!
I’ve discovered five reasons why it’s completely okay for a woman to ask a man out first.
2. It’s refreshing to turn the tables.
Believe it or not, men are constantly stressing out when it comes to the idea of having to ask a woman on a date. Fear of rejection can get the best of all of us and sometimes put out the flame before it’s even sparked. Instead, turn the tables! Put yourself in his shoes and ask him out first. It’s refreshing to see a woman take the first step and put herself out on a limb—just like when men ask women out! This leads me right into my next point.
3. It shows you’re confident in yourself!
When a woman has the courage to ask a man out on a date, it shows that she’s got great self-confidence. Let’s be real, the worst thing that could happen is he might say, “Hey, I’m not really that interested, but thanks for asking.” Now, if that happens, don’t jump to the conclusion that it’s because you’re not attractive. There are quite a few men who might not be ready to get into the dating scene. There’s also the possibility that they’re looking for a hookup and you don’t want to get involved in that if you’re looking for a relationship. Sometimes a “no thanks” can be a blessing in disguise, and now you know now where you stand.
Most men voice that they wish the girl they’ve been interested in would have a little more self-confidence. Keep in mind, you want to come off as confident but not pushy. Make sure you’re genuine and not just stroking your ego when you ask a guy out—just like you would want him to be if he were asking you out! Grit and grace ladies!
4. Guys like it!
There are plenty of men that see confidence as super sexy. Hearing that the key to being sexy is being confident might not be what we want to hear, but it’s the truth. Most of the men in the Buzzfeed video said that it can be a huge turn-on when a girl asks them out. Just think of how you feel when you get asked out. Flattered, right? Well, guess what, guys feel the same way! When you ask them out, you’re clearly expressing that you know what you want and that you’re not afraid to go after it.
But, that’s not to say that all guys are going to be into women asking them out. There are some that feel threatened or like you’re being too aggressive, so walk confidently but tactfully. Another concern that comes up to the men is that maybe they didn’t move fast enough or we thought they were taking too long to ask us out. Always make sure that your intentions are made clear and that it’s genuine so that they know this isn’t the case!
It’s extremely refreshing to see a woman ask a man out on a date and to put herself out on a limb—just like when men ask women out!
5. You can pick what you do on the date.
Asking a guy out first is great because you get to pick what you are going to do on the date! Whether it’s grabbing dinner, lunch, coffee, watching a movie, or going to an art gallery, the possibilities are endless because you made the first move! The ball is in your court.
What if the guy accepts your date but then suggests you do something else? That’s totally possible and also okay! In that situation, if you’re really interested in the guy and want to get to know him, be flexible. When I’ve asked a guy out in the past, he was fine with me asking first, but to keep it balanced, he suggested that he pick me up. I felt that was a fair compromise that we were both happy with. Have fun, and be flexible.
Hopefully, these five reasons will help you take the leap to ask that special someone out. This should give you a little more insight on how to tackle your dating life and make your next move. Keep in mind that a guy can say “no,” but he may also say “yes!” Don’t be discouraged from asking him out in the future. Have confidence! Walk with grit + grace!
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When you ask them out, you’re clearly expressing that you know what you want and that you’re not afraid to go after it.