Prayer is often described as a simple conversation with God. Yet truth be told, I have a conflicted relationship with it. Herein lies the rub: My understanding of God’s character, specifically His love for me, sometimes stands in stark contrast to my experience with prayer.
The apostle Matthew tells me that just as a Father would never give his child a snake when they asked for a fish, nor a stone when they asked for bread, then how much more will God “give good gifts to those who ask him.” But I’m a sceptic, because I’m fairly certain I’ve been handed a few snakes when I’ve asked for a fish.
Even after countless, faith-filled prayers, parents still lay their beloved children in caskets, miracle babies miscarry, addiction will not break, and cancer whisks away mothers too young to leave their children.
So I wonder—and in the spirit of truth-telling, I’m pretty sure you do too—if God is good, then why do His Fatherly gifts sometimes feel so… bad?
Why Are Prayers for Good Things Denied?
As we begin to process this question, let’s walk with Jesus into the Garden of Gethsemane. It is the eve of his Crucifixion, by far the most horrific way to die. So it is no surprise that Jesus, fully God yet fully man, “became anguished and distressed,” telling his disciples, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death.”
Then, after Jesus’ drops of blood spilled into the garden soil, He prayed, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me.”
But God was not willing.
Right here, kneeling alongside Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane we can feel known. Seen. Because Jesus also understands a denied prayer.
Yet Jesus isn’t the only recorded person to have a prayer denied. Three times Paul asked God to remove his “thorn in the flesh,” but God refused. Instead God told Paul, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
A Denied Prayer Offers a Gift: Spiritual Growth
With this evidence, what if the “good gifts” of God have very little to do with alleviation from our plights, and everything to do with finding spiritual overflow smack dab in the middle of our prisons and persecutions? As a young friend told me while fighting a brave battle against cancer, “God is more concerned with what He is doing inside of you than what is going on around you.” She lived a fruitful life, and two years later God took her home.
Her words clarify the empowering understanding that prayer unwraps the gift of spiritual abundance in our pain. It is not necessarily the path of deliverance from them.
Without a doubt, Jesus emphasized that in this world we will face trouble. Sorrows. Persecution. Terrain full of landmines. I am certain you understand. After all, we live in enemy-occupied territory.
Read what Paul, an imprisoned man in Rome, wrote to a floundering church in Colossians, making special note of the words of abundance:
“We have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him; bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.” (Colossians 1:9-11)]
No Matter the Outcome, Don’t Stop Praying
So next time you are praying for a certain outcome, perhaps also pray these verses from Colossians alongside your petition. God might deny your faith-filled request, but he will most assuredly offer you the good gift of power “for endurance and patience with joy.”
Prayer unwraps the gift of spiritual abundance in our pain. It is not necessarily the path of deliverance from them.
And, dear one, when the answer to your prayer feels like God handed you a stone or a serpent, allow prayer to be the way to unwrap His spiritual gifts of bread and fish.
Here is where you can begin:
“Lord, I will not cease praying for myself and my dear friends. I ask that you will fill me with the knowledge of your will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that I will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing you in all I do. May I bear fruit in every good work as I walk throughout my day, and may I increase in the knowledge of you. In particular and within this trial, may I be strengthened with all your power, according to your glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy. Amen.”
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If you’re facing an outcome you didn’t pray for, it may feel like God isn’t listening. Here’s how to draw closer, even when he feels distant: If God Feels Distant – 267