Beverly Whalen | The Grit and Grace Project

Parenting Adult Children: When to Speak Up and When to Shut Up

So, your children aren’t children anymore. When did they grow up and become adults anyway? Often, that depends on us as parents. Do we allow them to grow up, or do we hold them back by rescuing and enabling? It’s a hard realization, but if they are to become adults, we must see them as adults, and accept that we are parenting grown kids. When they were toddlers, if we had picked them up every time they fell, they would never learn to walk alone. Likewise, as adult children, they would never learn life’s crucial lessons if we were to save them from every fall—nor would they engage in the reflective process required to grow from their mistakes. That doesn’t mean we are […]

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Tips to a Happy, Healthy Sex Life

By Beverly Whalen / Relationships

Remember when you were first married and you couldn’t wait to get your hands on your man’s body? I have been in love with my man for more years than you can imagine and he still makes my heart skip a beat. Don’t get me wrong, he still drives me crazy and I’m not talking about in-the-bedroom-crazy. I’m talking picking up after himself, lowering the toilet seat, sealing the chip bag, putting dishes in the dishwasher, listening, hearing and sometimes knowing I just need a hug. It makes no difference if you were married last month or decades ago, sexual intimacy needs to be a high priority. We women are multitaskers. We know how to get things done, take care of everything

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Graduation Day: How Will My Kids Survive Without Me?

By Beverly Whalen / Motherhood

It seems like only yesterday that I was the tear-streaked mom sitting in the bleachers watching two daughters graduate from high school. Two best friends, two sidekicks, two sisters leaving the nest at the same time. Two beautiful young women going their separate ways…and leaving their mother behind. I was definitely not ready! Yes, I had two more daughters, also teenagers, still running in and out the door, sometimes sneaking out the window before getting caught in action (severe consequences, like missing the prom and being grounded for a month). I have learned much raising five daughters who are all—much like their dad and me—quite social and free spirited. Would they survive? Could they survive the real world? We would not be

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Why You Want to Be a Bucket-Filler Kind of Friend

By Beverly Whalen / Relationships

I want to be a bucket-filling kind of friend. As women in today’s world, we are forced to wear many hats, endure many demands, be put upon, put out, worn out and hung out to dry. We have to be on the mark 24/7. We are married, single, single-again, businesswomen, retired, and starting over and over again. We are wife, mother, coach, lover, counselor, teacher, cook, hostess, driver, repair-woman, event planner … the list goes on and on. We are tired and barely have time for friendships. Ladies, make no mistake about it, we need healthy bucket-filling friendships. A wise friend recently reminded me that “Friendship is a relationship between two imperfect people.” So true; yet we expect our friends to meet

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Stop, Look, and Listen to People Passing By

By Beverly Whalen / Relationships

Stop, look, and listen to the people around you. Do you really know the story behind the sad faces or even the mad faces of… The homeless person on the street? The lady in the checkout line counting her change to pay for groceries? The person at the gas station with a bank card that’s declined? The mom with the child crying uncontrollably, the teen arguing, the toddler melting down? The person yelling at you with obscene gestures because you didn’t move fast enough? The mom who has reached her limit as she screams for her kids to shut up? The parent running late to pick the kids up because the boss’s demands came first? Stop. Look. Listen. That blank look on someone’s

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How to Start Your Own “Granny Camp”

By Beverly Whalen / Life & Culture

Several years ago I began Granny Camp. Yes, that means I’m a grandmother (even though I’m the cool one that rides a Harley). I haven’t completely lost my mind… There is a purpose. Granny Camp is a way to have quality time with grandkids without their parents around; and to give cousins opportunities to make lifetime memories with one another. Last but not least, to invest in my daughters/son’s marriages by giving them a much needed break from parenting, so they can invest in those often-ignored relationships. My adult children appreciate it and the grandkids look forward to it every year. I get them all to myself—to love and adore! It’s a win-win for all. I promise that it is the biggest return on any investment that

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I Am Not Half, I Am Whole

By Beverly Whalen / Health & Beauty, Purpose

God bless the messy road that made me who I am. I am in awe of how each season of our life prepares us for the next. Sometimes it’s our wrong choices and mistakes. Oftentimes it’s another’s wrong choice, but it affects us. The messy roads, the product of wrong choices can make you feel like you are less than. While others seem whole, you may feel that you are merely half. Yet, that is never true. When I look at my life, I can see so clearly how each season and choice (both good and bad) have made me who I am today—and I count it all joy, my friends. I was that kid born out of wedlock. My mom was sent away

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My Story Rewritten, Yours Can Be Too

By Beverly Whalen / Health & Beauty, Purpose

My life story began as a child of a hurt woman who fled the unfaithfulness of a husband. Her pregnancy came when she fell in the arms of another man seeking comfort. I was the product of hurt, and a thirst for love, and I became a decision faced by a mother who was not ready for motherhood. My beginning could have looked like this: I am: Unwanted A child of hurt, shame, and secrets A choice to make Without value or purpose Another child, if born, headed for Foster Care Yet that was not the end—that is not who I am. I am not: An unwanted daughter A daughter of shame The choice to end a pregnancy Instead, my mother’s decision,

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Running on Empty, Mom?

By Beverly Whalen / Motherhood

Running on empty, who is going to fill MY tank? I love being a woman, a Mommy, a business woman, and a nurturer……but there are times I just want to be nurtured because I am running on empty! Do you ever have those mornings, you wake up when you just wanted to sleep a little longer? As you turn over, you see…. Cute little eyes staring at you Tiny little fingers poking at you Loud little voices calling your name Mommy, I wet the bed Mommy, I’m hungry Mommy, I can’t reach the cereal oops, I spilled the milk Mommy, I can’t turn the water off in the bathroom Mommy, I had a scary dream Mommy, the dog jumped in the trash

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