Jennifer Schoonover | The Grit and Grace Project

Let Kids Play in the Mud; God Made Them Washable

Dear Mama, Let your children be children. I’m 50 years old now, and one of my favorite memories as a child was playing in a huge mud hole with my sister. Please don’t take that joy away from your child. Picture this: We lived in southeast Texas. Tornados were common, and just before summer break, one hit our town. Electricity was out for a week, roads were closed or washed out completely due to the rain, and school was cancelled. I am sure parents everywhere were not only exacerbated by the devastation of the storm, but add the sheer boredom of all the kids home from school and those parents were about to lose their patience. The Fun of Mud Play My […]

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Bring Your Memories to Life With This Special DIY Stone

By Jennifer Schoonover / Life & Culture

I often find myself strolling around our property and through my gardens. This is where I find peace, quiet, solace, and spend the majority of the time talking with God. It fills my heart and soul to watch these labors of love become something of beauty, especially in the spring when trees are just starting to bud. My tulips are blooming, bringing beautiful colors to the landscape, and my hostas are poking their pointy heads up. Like most of us, they are reaching through the darkness of the dirt in search of the promise of warmer weather and sunshine. As I walk through the gardens, my heart is filled in other ways as well. I see trees from a Christmas past—planted with

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My Unstable Upbringing Delivered a Precious Gift

By Jennifer Schoonover / Purpose, Best Of

I grew up in a toxic family. My childhood is riddled with unimaginable abuse, trauma, a lack of stability and yet, in some ways, I consider myself privileged. Did we have money? No. A majority of the time six of us lived in a 24-foot travel trailer, in RV parks, in whatever town my dad was currently working. Our family was made up of my dad, mom, two sisters and one brother. I am the oldest and my brother is the youngest. We are 10 years apart. Our family was somewhere between dirt poor and middle class. My dad was a boilermaker so we moved wherever the next job was. I went to kindergarten in two different states and didn’t actually finish

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5 Things I Wish I Knew in My Twenties

By Jennifer Schoonover / Life & Culture

Recently, I started taking a strength training class in which I am the oldest member. Most of the women in the class are between the ages of 25 to 40, while I am close to 50. They are beginning their families while my husband and I are empty nesters. When they apologize for being late due to dropping off a child or a late babysitter, I applaud them for coming at all. I want to stand on a rooftop and implore all women to invest in themselves. You can not pour from an empty cup. May I share a bit of wisdom as I glance in the rearview mirror of my life? As I find myself edging ever so close to 50,

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My Sons Communicated Better When I Used These 5 Techniques

By Jennifer Schoonover / Motherhood

Communication is a key ingredient in every healthy relationship. I think most of us would agree with that statement, especially when talking about our relationship with our spouse. But what about our relationships with the other men in our lives? By the other men in my life, I am referring to my two sons. Here are 5 techniques I used at different stages of their lives to help them open up and communicate more with me. 1. Ask Specific Questions and Pick the Right Time When they are small, we teach our children to “use their words” to communicate what they need or want and even how they feel. As they grow, go to school, and have interactions on their own, we

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This Is What My 7-Year-Old Taught Me That Still Helps Me Today

By Jennifer Schoonover / Motherhood

Sitting in a circle, criss-cross applesauce, on a colorfully patterned carpet, I am listening to each of the second graders in my group take turns reading aloud. Today is Tuesday, and it’s my day to volunteer in my seven-year-old son’s classroom. As I sit looking at the little faces around our circle, I notice the little face that belongs to me. I smile and look him over, trying to imprint his image on my heart’s memory. I know how fast this time goes and I don’t want to forget one detail. That’s when I notice that he is wearing purple socks. Except he doesn’t own purple socks and he is wearing a green shirt. Oh my goodness, who dressed this child and

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How to Pray (When You Feel Like You Don’t Know How)

By Jennifer Schoonover / Faith

Growing up, my family believed in God but didn’t attend church. I thought that when you prayed you had to address God formally and the only “prayer” I knew was: Now I lay me down to sleep I pray dear Lord my soul you’ll keep And if I die before I wake I pray dear Lord my soul you’ll take I prayed that a lot lying in bed at night as a child, but honestly, I didn’t even know what it meant. It just sounded like something one should say before going to bed. Especially since I grew up with anxiety, abuse, and a lot of uncertainty. Have You Ever Felt Like You Don’t Know How to Pray? Being the oldest of

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This Is Why Depression Is a Deceptive Liar

By Jennifer Schoonover / Life & Culture

Depression is a deceptive liar. It will tell you that you are weak, that you don’t have anything to contribute to the world you live in. It will make you believe that you are lazy and try to convince you that you are unworthy of any kind of happiness or love. It will make you feel lonely in a room full of people, even the people that love you the most. It will make you feel like you are in a bubble that won’t allow love, happiness, or joy to penetrate the barrier. Its heavy gray cloud will follow you around, much like the cloud of dirt that followed Pigpen in Charlie Brown. You will see things, touch things, and hear things,

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If Words Are Powerful, How Should You Speak to Yourself?

By Jennifer Schoonover / Life & Culture

Do you know who you spend the most time with? Who you talk to the most? Whose voice you hear the most? I encourage you to park here for just a moment and really think about these questions. If I answer quickly, I would say my husband, children, a few friends, or maybe my coworkers. If I thought about it for just a hot minute, I might say I hear my mom’s voice in my head the most. In all reality though, the answer is me. I spend the most time with and have the most conversations with myself. You might be nodding your head or furrowing your brow in a confused question like “what…?” Seriously though, you drive to the grocery

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3 Ways to Adjust to a New Normal in the Pandemic

By Jennifer Schoonover / Life & Culture

Today is a new day, a gift. A blessing and an opportunity to share my story with other women in hopes that it will help them through these uncertain times of disruption to our every day lives. One thing is for sure, we are all walking without a road map through a valley of a global pandemic called the coronavirus, or COVID-19. I got a little wrapped up in the drama of it all and my depression took over for a minute. Okay, a couple days really, but I was trying to sound “hip.” I watched the news as China was hit with this crazy virus that seemed like something from the movies. It was far enough away and outside of my

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Why Journaling Is the Best Tool for Self-Discovery

By Jennifer Schoonover / Life & Culture

What are some things that come to mind when you think of the word journaling? Do you think of your teenage self, lying on your bed scribbling the names of your BFFs or current crush in your diary that has a little lock on it? Maybe you think of sitting down every evening writing out the events of the day in chronological order. Perhaps it’s a list of your hopes and dreams. Journaling is something I have done for many years. In high school it was a tool I used to sort through all of the chaos happening in my family, school, and social life. Journaling helped me process the reality of my unhealthy environment and gave me a sense of control

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Are You Missing Your Purpose While Searching for It?

By Jennifer Schoonover / Purpose

Purpose. That seems to be a buzz word these days. Everyone is either searching for their purpose or their purpose is to help you find yours. What does that even mean… your purpose? The word is defined as being “the reason something or someone was created” or “an objective of something.” So, we are all out here searching for our purpose in life like it’s a lost treasure that holds all the power to a fulfilled life of health and happiness. To some extent, I don’t disagree with this, but what if we are so focused on the forest that we miss the trees? What if we are so interested in finding what our life purpose is that we blow by the

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Who Else Wants to Make the Most of Summer?

By Jennifer Schoonover / Life & Culture

If you have read my bio, you know that I work in a public school. I always go into the summer with hopes of accomplishing so many things, and I go back to school in August realizing that while I enjoyed my time away, I don’t really feel accomplished, which takes a little something away from my feeling rested and ready to go back to school. Without some kind of routine or plan, I find myself being indecisive about what to do with my time, and, frankly, I waste a lot of it. Don’t get me wrong, we all need a day to lie around and read a good book, pausing only for a refreshment and maybe a little nap, but if

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There’s No One Right Way to Feed Your Faith

By Jennifer Schoonover / Faith

Spring is in the air, at least that’s what the retailers have told us with their chocolate bunnies and pastel-colored egg displays. The sun is shining, and while it is still a bit chilly, that crisp air is so refreshing. On these beautiful days, I love to open windows and welcome the breeze in to get rid of the stale winter air and breathe new life into my home. I get out my lemon candles and diffuse an uplifting blend of essential oils. My favorite thing to do in the spring is to fill my bird feeders, take a cup of coffee, and stroll through my flower beds and garden. Oh, how it feeds my heart to walk around and take in

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This Is Why You Should Invest in Friendship, No Matter What!

By Jennifer Schoonover / Relationships

The importance of friendship is immeasurable. As human beings, we need relationship, connections, and support. Although some days we need a little alone time, we really were created for community. Not solitude. A few months ago, I called my best friend to get caught up on all the life happening in her world. She only had a few moments, because well…life. We get busy with our families; hers happens to be pretty big. We get busy with our jobs, and we don’t always have another five minutes to squeeze out of the day. Created for Connection Out of desperation to see and catch up with my friend, my closest confidant, I suggested we meet at 5:45 in the morning to walk the

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What I Learned About Hospitality From My Cows

By Jennifer Schoonover / Faith

God has given each of us individual gifts that are a part of who we are. These gifts come naturally to us. One of mine is hospitality, and 1 Peter 4:9 says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace…” Now, as a young Christian, I thought that meant always having people over for dinner, tea, BBQs, and hosting Bible studies, and I put a lot of pressure on myself. The first women’s Bible study I hosted turned into a circus. I thought I had it all figured out, by the way, that’s how you make God laugh. My house was spotless, and I

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When You Feel Sad Because an Important Season of Motherhood Ends

By Jennifer Schoonover / Motherhood

I’m not ready. I’m just not ready! This is the recurring thought I’m having as we walk further into the wonderful fall season. With this season come so many emotions. Ok, who am I kidding? All seasons bring about different emotions, for me anyway. Fall is like a deep sigh, a cleansing breath if you will. The daylight is shorter, and darkness longer. The fog rolls in with the evening and stays until midmorning, bringing a layer of dampness to all it touches. We begin to look for our favorite, coziest sweater to keep the chill of the morning and evenings off our sun-soaked skin, and we contemplate trading out our iced coffee for a warm pumpkin spice latte. I love this season for

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