Rachel Hagstrom | The Grit and Grace Project

To the Mom Lacking Self-Confidence: Do This

To the woman lacking self-confidence, it can appear as though everyone around her is acing life with flying colors. She might tend to second-guess her decisions constantly. She often battles a distorted, negative view of herself. When she becomes a mom, her confidence levels soar one minute and then reach unprecedented lows the next if her self-worth depends on her parenting skills. I know because I am that woman. To All the Women Lacking Self-Confidence I’m probably the least qualified person to dish out advice regarding confidence (see the irony there!). As one all-too-familiar with the aforementioned internal musings and mindsets, my self-confidence has been on shaky grounds for much of my adolescent and adult life. The same nervous way I’d present a […]

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Want to Change Your Life? Start Building Something New

By Rachel Hagstrom / Purpose

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”—Socrates (a character in Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives by Dan Millman) For the record, the words above weren’t penned by the philosopher Socrates, but rather by a character with the same name in a book I have not yet read. I stopped scrolling when I came across the quote on my Instagram, half-hoped it indeed was passed down by the Greek classic, but regardless, instantly liked it—yet with strings attached. The part of me that rebels against the meaning of the words is the same part of me that finds value in taking an honest inventory of

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Facing a Health Scare? Questions You Need to Ask Yourself

By Rachel Hagstrom / Faith

It all hit within 48 hours of one another. First, my husband left for a week of work travel overseas while our two daughters were sick, hacking and sneezing in between fever-induced sleep. Then, I received word that my dad was admitted to a South American hospital with COVID. Finally, the blow: a pelvic exam that warranted surprise ultrasounds. I was two steps out of my doctor’s office when my discouragement rose with a resurgence. In the days leading up to the tests, my mind became a breeding ground for every possible scenario (Side note: attempting to self-diagnose with “Dr. Google” is never a good idea). My emotions teetered on a pendulum between trust and terror. God is in all of this…

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Here’s Why You Should Question the Stories You Tell Yourself

By Rachel Hagstrom / Purpose, Best Of

“The most powerful stories may be the ones we tell ourselves.” —Brené Brown¹ It wasn’t the loaves of homemade bread she’d bake for our family, the way she’d serve me Ovaltine in bed before school, nor the daily schlepping to swim practices and other after-school activities. These acts of devotion certainly made her a fantastic mother, but what earned her the title of “The World’s Greatest Mom” was largely due to the stories she told. With creativity and ease, her words flowed into dashing tales around similar themes. There was always a high-stakes rescue coupled with unassuming heroes who overcame weaknesses, flaws, and fears. Even though the settings, outlying characters, and storylines varied each time, the hero protagonists did not — they

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PTSD Threatened Our Love Story—Finding Help Saved It

By Rachel Hagstrom / Life & Culture, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) Near the end of 2007, a group of girlfriends and I took a trip to Hawaii. A few days later, I met my future husband in a restaurant that stood across from the iconic Waikiki Beach. The chords of a ukulele flavored that night. Sweet combinations of coconut-fragranced sunscreen and fried onions wafted through the restaurant, dulling the more pungent scents of sweat and spilled beer. A vibrant, three-dimensional painting of a “merman” hung on the wall behind me. Pete didn’t try to hit on me in a creepy way. Instead, he used humor—the gateway to my heart—and pointed to the painting while he referenced a line from the movie “Zoolander.” His back

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If You Want To Get Healthy, Do These 5 Things

By Rachel Hagstrom / Health & Beauty, Best Of, Life & Culture

For a girl whose dietary and lifestyle choices once included generous amounts of Cheez-Its, menthol cigarettes, and energy drinks mixed with vodka, the desire to get healthy was overwhelming at first. I’m not going to lie…doing a massive overhaul on my (not-so-healthy) habits was downright hard. I wasn’t sure what foods my body would benefit from, so I tested popular diets and eliminated trigger foods. I wanted to find cost-effective ways to incorporate more organic produce, so I found good deals and discounted products I could add to my recipe rotation. I began exercising on a consistent basis, and instead of automatically reaching for my former go-to substances during times of stress, I explored spiritual practices that seemed to calm my mental

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A Letter to My Daughter on Body Image: May You Love All of You

By Rachel Hagstrom / Motherhood, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) Dear Daughter, We are together more than ever these days. I watch as you wake each morning, walk into your closet, and choose an outfit that doesn’t go together. You pull up your leggings without noticing the skin that spills over the tight waistband. You run a brush through your hair and carefully choose a headband or opt for a braid. I passively wonder if you wish for hair opposite of your own in texture and color. But there is no sighing or visible expression of disappointment as you comb through the tangles and frizz. Instead, you smile and make silly faces at your reflection in the mirror. Virtual school ends, and you’re

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This Is How to Avoid Stagnation and Get More out of Life

By Rachel Hagstrom / Purpose, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) Toward the end of one of our sessions together, my life coach tasked me with an unusual piece of homework: “I want you to write your own obituary and read it to me during our next session. What did loved ones say about you? What kind of life did you lead? What was your impact? Put it all in there and let yourself go wild with it.” This particular session had centered around my feelings of being stuck regarding a new venture; I was desperate to get back to my “why” and remember what it was I was originally after. “It’s like my feet are glued to the ground and everything around me

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My Life Is a Canvas, God Is the Painter

By Rachel Hagstrom / Audio Articles, Faith

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) For many of us, the new year is an opportunity for a fresh start. We’ll seize the newness of the season by taking intentional moments to reset and re-calibrate. We visualize what the next 365 days hold for us. Perhaps because I grew up in the home of an artist, I liken the new year to a blank canvas ready to be primed and painted with brilliant hues and brush strokes of far-off adventures, rough timelines, and enormous potential. The canvas is etched in lofty goals, dreams, and aspirations; our hopes and everything we resolve to one day achieve are saturated in its fibers. Each January, I’d have a vision and high ideals

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13-Holiday-Safety-Tips-to-Help-Ensure-It’s-Merry

Why We Need the Hope of the Evergreen More Than Ever This Year

By Rachel Hagstrom / Life & Culture

If there’s ever been a year our hearts yearn to embrace Christmas early, it is without a doubt, this one. I, like many of you, stepped into 2020 wide-eyed with wonder and anticipation of what the year might hold. Then March blew in and turned our world upside down. Businesses and schools closed. Parents became homeschool teachers. Anxiety levels surged. Marriages suffered. Long-existing racial injustices came to the light and protests ensued. Then, an intensely charged election season. For some of us, this year triggered layers of grief, loss, and depression. For those living with compromised immune systems or health issues, we’ve sheltered in longer, drastically limiting our get-togethers with others outside our immediate families. We’ve felt the sting of missing loved

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In a World of 7 Billion People, Does God See Me?

By Rachel Hagstrom / Faith

There were two words on the back of a dust-encrusted dump truck that jolted me to the fact that God might actually know me really well, and…even love me. To give you a bit of context, I was in the throes of the pubescent years and the days were colored with plaid clothing, knee-high socks, Doc Martens, and grunge music (ah yes, the 90s). I had been told about Jesus so I knew that God supposedly loved me along with every other person he had ever created, knowing intimate parts about us—like the number of hairs on our heads and how many days we’d walk the earth. But somewhere in my childhood and tween years, I gradually began to question the notion

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When a Strong Woman Is Quitting, But Not Failing

Do You Want to Be an Overcomer? The Way Out Is Through

By Rachel Hagstrom / Purpose

I’m a sucker for a story about an “Overcomer.” I am a woman who is attracted to and allured by the tales of those who persevered in the face of adversity. The discovery of inner grit, finding hope amid hardship, grace mired in trials…these are the type of stories that ignite in me a deep love for humanity. During my adolescence and youth, I was told about the Overcomers: my relatives, both living and passed, who had “been through hell and high water.” The saying wasn’t figurative when it came to my grandma—one of the most resilient of my family—considering she had endured six floods in her life. To me, Gram was the most glamorous woman I had ever seen. She held

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How a Simple Breath Prayer Can Calm Your Mind and Body

A Breath Prayer to Calm Your Mind and Body

By Rachel Hagstrom / Faith

We do it around 23,040 times a day and even more if we’re in a state of exertion. Our life cycles start and end with it, from our very first inhale at birth to our last exhale at death. I’m referring to the breath—the universal language of humanity and the vital force that fuels our existence. There’s no doubt that the breath is a majestic and miraculous phenomenon. Yet, most of us carry about our days largely disconnected from this incredible source of life, which can calm your mind and body. I first learned to pay attention to my breath as a third grader. I would lay awake at night, plagued with stomachaches and anxiety. In attempts to help calm me down,

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Are You Fighting for Your Marriage? These Resources Can Help

By Rachel Hagstrom / Relationships

Many marriages around the world are groaning under quarantine stress. We are collectively spending more time with our spouses than many of us have in a very long time (if ever before)—some in extremely tight quarters. Personal space has completely evaporated. Sex and intimacy look different. We’re cooking several meals a day for the whole family, cleaning up more messes, balancing work with homeschooling, all the while trying to internally remind ourselves not to touch our faces—which just in itself requires a fair amount of mental energy. Problems and issues that may have been tabled pre-lockdown are now blaring and have nowhere to hide. Tensions are heightened. Every little thing from reactions, moods, expectations, responses, and emotions are all magnified. Some of

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Now Is the Time to Ignite Your Confidence

By Rachel Hagstrom / Purpose

I can be real with you, right? I felt a little like an imposter when I first started writing this piece about self-confidence. Two seconds after I signed up to write it, the thought “Hmm, I’m probably not the right girl for the job…” entered my mind. Here’s why: To start, I have a history of caving into the bully voice far too often. Is there a similar voice you hear when a new opportunity arises? For me, it’s the one that tells me I’m disqualified, defective, and not enough. When I’ve listened to it in the past, I’ve ended up missing out on some pretty spectacular opportunities. Furthermore, I am a SAHM who—probably on a daily basis—doubts if I’m truly cut

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change happens when god is in your recovery journey

Change Happens When God Is in Your Addiction Recovery

By Rachel Hagstrom / Faith

My breathing is shallow before I step into the stale, dimly lit room. I take a seat, nodding a hello to the docile man to my left and smiling at the woman who sits across from me facing their own addiction recovery. Her candid vulnerability and blatant remarks resonate, often causing me to think about her words long after our time together ends. I am just six months into my recovery journey and the youngest person in attendance. I’m not sure if we’d peg each other as friends outside of this room, but in this place, it’s as though these people understand me better than some of my bosom friends—their authenticity and vulnerability is refreshing and without airs or pretenses. But first,

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Why Putting Others First Will Make You More Successful

By Rachel Hagstrom / Work & Money

The best boss I ever had was a woman who had a great knack for empowering people to discover and cultivate their unique gifts and talents. Humble and approachable, a large part of what made this leader well-regarded in the workplace and community was the way she invested herself in those around her. She spotted hidden talent in college students when her peers overlooked them. She took intentional time from her busy schedule to mentor her employees, giving us the language to frame our vocational aspirations and dreams. As she guided us in our quest to hone our own versions of success, she seemed to achieve more of it herself. This leader was a refreshing voice in a “me-first” world. There’s another

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