Is Quitting the End? Or Is it Starting Over?

Recently, I went to the local running store and let them charge a ridiculous amount for a new pair of running shoes. I used to run, just like I used to do lots of things, but lately, I have been slow to get off the couch.

I quickly found my brand and style of choice.

The owner came up from the back and asked me about my selection. Runners are very particular about their shoes. I told her I needed something to absorb a lot of the impact.

I tell her that I overpronate just a little.

I tell her that my knees creak, but I never mention the hole in my head.

I tell her I’m a distance runner, not a speed runner. Even though the furthest I’ve run in a year is two miles.

They fit. Of course they do. I’ve bought this same brand, same size at least a half dozen times. The price tag should make me hesitate, but I gave her all my money without flinching.

Buying these shoes feels a little ridiculous: I barely run; I probably don’t need these fancy shoes. I’m too slow for the shoes of a serious runner.

I Haven’t Quit; I’ve Been Hopeful

But these shoes, or at least similar ones, have carried me hundreds of miles. Across finish lines.

My heels have bled. More than one toenail has fallen off. I’ve pushed myself when I wanted to quit.

I’ve done really hard things in shoes like these.

These are the shoes of a runner. Albeit a slow one.

And I am hopeful still. Maybe I can’t run far, but I am still in the race.

They are beautiful shoes. I wore them yesterday to the store and got two compliments.

But even better, I laced them up, grabbed my headphones, and hit an actual trail.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve restarted the couch to 10K app.

In the last year alone, four times. I have not quit for lack of motivation or discipline.

Some might say that is four times I have not met my goal. Some might say it is four times that I have given up. I say it is four times I’ve been hopeful.