When You #PinterestFail and Feel Like a Bad Mom

Life is messy … especially when baking is involved.

My daughter’s birthday was quickly approaching—as it seems to do every year—and I only had a week to plan her party. Oops. (I guess in all reality I had a whole year.) After scrolling through Pinterest for ideas, I began to feel like an inadequate mother. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make an ice sculpture for a Frozen themed birthday, like Martha Stewart on crack, so I decided to at least make her that rainbow cake she had been talking about … the one she saw at her friend’s birthday party because some other mom’s got skills.

I generally stick to buying cakes from the local bakery. However, this time I was feeling all “inspired,” so I ventured out of my comfort zone and decided to bake. I began to imagine the approval of my daughter and other family members, as they would surely rave over my masterpiece. They would label me “an amazing mother: talented in so many ways.” Who knows, my cake could even go viral on Pinterest…

Now, when I say I will make a cake from scratch, what I really mean is that I will make it from a box. (This is about as homemade as it gets for me, so don’t judge.) From my experience, you can’t go wrong with a Duncan Hines box cake. Everything is practically spelled out.

My sister and I baked the eight colorful layers a day before the party (which I considered to be a brilliant time saver). However, the day of the party, my Martha Stewart dreams quickly crumbled into pieces, literally. When I tried to place the second layer of cake on top of the first, I created an avalanche. I tried to salvage the cake by reconstructing it piece by piece, pasting it together with icing … but alas, it was to no avail. The cake was a total disaster!

Surprisingly, my daughter loved the Picasso-inspired cake and thought it tasted amazing! But my expectations were far from met. I wanted to cry, but the only thing I could do was laugh (and send my husband to buy a cake from the bakery one hour before the party)!

All of this allowed me to realize how unrealistic expectations in parenting and other relationships can easily set us up for failure, discouragement, and depression. Why? Because disappointments are really just unmet expectations. Reflecting on this, I couldn’t help but think of a recent outing I planned for the kids — a bubble soccer DFW event that promised endless fun. The kids were excited, and I was hopeful for a day of joy. Yet, it didn’t go as smoothly as I had imagined since it started to rain midway through. The people I hired were very accommodating (as much as they could be given the weather), the laughter and tumbles were there, but so were the tears and the occasional mishap. Just like my baking blunder, it was a reminder that life’s imperfections often create the most memorable moments.

Life is not always a piece of cake. It’s messy, and disappointments are sure to come. If you can’t recreate a Pinterest cake, give yourself a break! But if you have mad baking skills, by all means, get to work! (And maybe bake us all a cake!)

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Hey Mama, need some more encouragement to remind you that you’re not a failure? Watch this to hear inspiring quotes hand-picked by two of our Grit & Grace moms…