It is awkward being the odd girl out. My friends are dating, engaged, married, and some are starting to have kids. Then there is me. Single like a Pringle and feeling left out. I feel more like a pain and burden than someone my friends look forward to seeing. All because I am single.
The reality is that my friends have done nothing wrong. Their man should be the priority. Those relationships are more important than our friendship, and that is hard to swallow sometimes.
So, what am I supposed to do?
1. Invite him along.
Solo girl time will always be needed, and something to be fought for in the craziness of life. But, find opportunities to include your friend’s man. Get to know the one who has your friend glowing. He is now a part of your life. Just because she is spending more time with him shouldn’t make you back off or fade to the credit screen. Invite them to a local art fair or a festival in town. Take them out for dinner or make them a meal. Try to know your friend as part of a couple. She is hopefully the same person, but there is another level of her personality and who she is growing into that you can experience by spending time with them together. And if your friend is in the dating phase, it gives you an inside look at what this guy is about. We have to look out for our girls, within reason; don’t get too creepy on him.
2. Invest in yourself.
Free time means time to get comfortable with yourself. One of the biggest things people avoid is being alone. We are scrolling, vegging out, or numbing out to Netflix. Or am I the only one? When is the last time you did something you wanted to do, and did it without anyone else going with you? Do it girl, being single is the best time to get to know you and grow in confidence of who you are and were made to be. Take yourself on a date. Ask yourself questions. Eat the food you like. Go on adventures. It is hard, but right now it is you against the world. Do you like yourself? Do you want to hang out with you? What have you been avoiding emotionally? Learn and grow to value yourself. You do not need a guy to ignite your value. You are worth knowing and loving. While you are waiting for someone to love, enjoy loving yourself.
Being the third wheel in your relationship-filled circle doesn’t have to be a lonely and miserable experience. Invite your girlfriends and their men on a hike, to a concert, or maybe a game night. Include them and enjoy getting to know your friends in a new light. Celebrate you. Get to know you. Invest in yourself. You don’t need to wait for someone else to feel valuable or special. You already are, so treat yourself. Please don’t sit around and collect cats. Go and live this wild and free life.
Check out this recent podcast episode from This Grit and Grace Life: Miss Independent: Can You Be Healthy, Strong and Dependent? – 047!
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