Want to Change Your Life? Change Your Mind First

There is never a wrong time to make a change in life; whether your benchmark is a new year, a new job or a new relationship. Recently, I realized that change is something that I needed to live a more happy and healthy life. The biggest question I always ended up with is, “How do I start?”

In the past, I never really addressed how negative my thinking was. Negative thinking was in all aspects of my life, but most importantly, it was about myself, to myself. A lot of us women walk around doubting ourselves. We are so hard on ourselves that we extinguish our flame. I always questioned my abilities and even thought, “I’m not going to meet my goal.” Over time I just learned to avoid the idea of having a “goal” to meet or set my sights on. I adopted the “Well, let’s see what happens” mentality. Not very healthy thinking, as you can see.

This year, I made a promise to myself to be more positive in my thinking. However, I still needed a jump start to get me out from under this negative cloud of thought that plagued me.

It wasn’t until my first day of classes this semester that my professor talked about the topic of respecting ourselves as individuals. I realized it related to more positive thinking. This professor recalled a conversation she had with a colleague about how we talk to ourselves in our minds. This colleague claimed that “If anyone talked to me the way that I talk to myself sometimes, I would never speak to them again.”

I cannot explain how these words washed over me while listening to my professor lecture. I had a pure, enlightening moment. This colleague of hers had put it together so beautifully. Until that moment, I had never thought of it that way. It was so true.

When I reflect on times that I have told myself such horrible and negative things, I for sure would never talk to someone again if they said those things to me out loud. So, if it is not OK for people on the outside to say those words, then guess what? It’s not OK for us as women to keep treating ourselves that way.

From that day on, I’ve actively tried to think nothing but positive thoughts. I tell myself to have goals, and remind myself that I will achieve them. Most importantly, I tell myself words of affirmation every single morning to start my day on a great note. I continue to tackle my day with grit and grace and positive thoughts.