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After Years of Dating, Should You Keep Waiting?

After Years of Dating, Should You Keep Waiting?

I recently had lunch at a wonderful lakeside restaurant where my server was a cute, incredibly perky girl in her mid-twenties. Looking at her, I thought about what a great stage of life she’s in—one that so often brings the beginning of new life roads. Because I just have to know about every new person I meet, I asked her what keeps her busy when she isn’t working. Her answer was looking at bridal magazines. The obvious response from me came next, “That is so great! When are you getting married?” Her response, “My boyfriend and I have been dating for three and a half years and he hasn’t asked me yet, but I’m sure he will. So, of course I am thinking about a wedding.”

It didn’t take much more conversation for it to become apparent that she was the only one doing this kind of thinking. There was absolutely no indication that even a shadow of this concept had traversed her boyfriend’s brain cells. She left the table stating she was just waiting for him to come around… She was sure he would. It took everything in me not to stand up and scream, “What are you thinking?”

Ok dear ladies, if three and a half years pass by and the boy isn’t expressing his desire to say “I do,” then I believe he’s giving you a big, fat, in-your-face clue.

Quit giving these guys a pass! Don’t you truly want a young man who is willing to make long-term commitments? One who pays his bills, loves his family, and makes the ultimate vow to you … proving he is, indeed, made up of the “I’m in it for the long haul” stuff? You are worth more than a vague promise; you are worth more than a “maybe one day” line. You, my dear, are worth so much more than this Mr. Elusive deserves!

The reality is that three and a half years are just too many to stay true to another human who is going nowhere. The only exceptions are if he is in college, the military, or overseas. If he isn’t fulfilling a long-term life plan that effects the timeline of your relationship, then sister, move on!

I’m sure you have your days of doubt? Every girl in this state of limbo does. There must be times when you wonder if he’s ever going to get with the plan. When you have those doubts, listen to them! That thing that rings in the female head and says, “I don’t think he really means all this sweet stuff he says. His actions don’t back up those sugary words” … that bell is ringing the truth.

Ok dear ladies, if three and a half years pass by and the boy isn’t expressing his desire to say “I do,” then I believe he’s giving you a big, fat, in-your-face clue.

Girls, don’t give your heart, don’t give your time, and don’t waste your love on someone that isn’t willing to give his fully in return. Three and a half years may not seem like a lot of time, but it is. Facebook grew from a small enterprise to 25 million users in three years. In three and a half years you could be starting your final semester to complete a bachelor’s degree. Three years after Adele’s breakup she penned her most prolific album, recorded it, and sold over 17 million records. So, I’m telling you a lot can happen in three and a half years.

Ladies, if you find yourself with Mr. Elusive, the man that just won’t make the forever commitment, take the difficult step and leave him behind! Yep, it’s a hard thing to do. You will feel like you’ve lost something you had been dreaming of for a long time. You have. Just remember this when those sad days come, holding onto nothing more than mist of an elusive dream will never free you up for the reality of what you really deserve.


You will also like  7 Things to Look for in a Man, Learning to Love Your Single Self, Anatomy of a Strong Woman, and What to Do When You Need a Change
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Darlene, President of The Grit and Grace Project, is crazy enough to jump in the deep end then realize she may not have a clue where she’s landed. She has spent her adult life juggling careers in the music business, been an author, a video producer, and also cared for her family ... some days drowning, other days believing she’s capable of synchronized swimming.

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