Caroline Beidler | The Grit and Grace Project

Wait With Me: Discovering the Beauty of Advent

With Christmas right around the corner, many are celebrating what is known as Advent. Now, for those of you like me who did not grow up in the church, you may not have learned that Advent is the period of time in the Christian calendar leading up to Christ’s birth on Christmas. Even though “Advent” may sound like the newest asthma medication, it in fact signifies a time of expectant waiting. In Latin (for those word lovers like myself), it literally means “coming.” Christ is coming and as a Christian, we mark this amazing reality by talking about it, hearing about it in sermons, and reflecting on it during the four Sundays leading up to Christmas. I did not grow up in […]

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man pouring wine into a glass on a holiday dinner table, a potential dilemma for those needing a sober holiday survival guide

Your Sober Holiday Survival Guide

By Caroline Beidler / Life & Culture

The holidays can be stressful, especially for those of us in recovery. Whether that is recovery from substance use, food addiction, co-dependent relationships, or pretty much anything at all (I believe that we are all in recovery from something), the holidays can put a stress on our recovery journeys. Even good stress can be challenging. Because of this, I wanted to create a resource that can help guide your journey in recovery through the holiday season—or any season—you might find yourself in. In these pages, you will find a quick sober holiday survival guide that will walk with you through the challenges of the season. In this guide, you will learn to: Understand your holiday triggers Respond in 4 healthy ways Support

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Pulling Out Trauma by the Roots

By Caroline Beidler / Purpose

Every day for nearly six years, I had to walk by a line of misshapen, horribly trimmed, oblong, and funky shrubs to get to my front door. Some years, I’d take shears and gently prune the gangly branches in hopes that the new growth would sprout forth as effortlessly and symmetrically as it appeared our neighbor’s shrubs did every spring. Other years, my frustration led me to our battery-powered hedge trimmer. At first, I was a bit intimidated by it. Me? Someone who trimmed hedges? With power tools, no less? But after I got comfortable with the safety button, I was ready to cut back any unruly branch or out-of-place landscaping around our house. “What have you done?” my husband kindly asked

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5 Ways to Make Adult Friends in the Lonely Age of Social Media

By Caroline Beidler / No Category

As I scroll through my list of friend requests on social media, I usually ask myself the same questions: if my life was falling apart, could I call on this person? Would they drop everything and be over in a few minutes with a tasty meal or a listening ear or to watch my kids quick while I scream into a pillow? And the answer is almost always “no.” Today, I am “friends” with thousands of people, but I’ve never felt more alone. Why Is It So Easy to Make Friends as a Kid? When I was five years old and regularly wore a pink tutu or my beloved red cowgirl boots and pigtails, I met my soulmate. Her name was Crystal.

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I Did a Social Media Detox and Learned Why We’re Always Reaching for Our Phones

By Caroline Beidler / Life & Culture

One day after my 8-year sober birthday, I decided to do a social media detox for a month (or as long as I could). In the beginning, there really wasn’t any end game in mind. My motivation: I realized that somewhere along the way I started caring what people think. And this started to affect how I felt about myself. Oh, and also: I was spending way too much time checking my phone. I wish someone could have taken my picture and posted it as I contemplated what it meant to erase the Facebook and Instagram apps from my phone. I held my finger on the screen and the icons did that little dance, that shaky “please don’t delete me” dance. This

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How to Eat Vegetarian Without Making it Weird

By Caroline Beidler / Life & Culture

Meatloaf and mashed potatoes, Venison steak, and fried chicken—as a Midwest gal, I grew up with these hearty dishes. Savory emanating from the floor boards like the smell of beef chili on game day. Baskets of carbs and real, salted butter. Tall, frothy glasses of milk. Fireworks of bouillon. Moats of gravy. We never thought to eat vegetarian. Don’t even get me started on dessert. I love food and it’s always loved me. My closet proves this. I have pants that range a handful of sizes. Depending on the season and the frequency of my workout routines, what needs covering melts away like an ice cream cone in summer or swirls into a nice peak and expands like homemade whipping cream. Thankfully,

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middle-aged woman smirking at her desk next to her laptop after learning to embrace the beauty of rejection

The Beauty of Rejection—Creating a Stronger You

By Caroline Beidler / Faith

The publishing journey isn’t easy. I’ve had 20+ years of rejections and not-good-enoughs and you’ll-never-be-enoughs. Folders with “not quite” on business letterheads and saved voicemails of “not this time.” “Not you,” says the agent, the editor, the reporter. Not now. I’ve had publishers tell me that my writing is wonderful, but my social media followers aren’t high enough. My concept is original, but my platform needs development. My platform is great, but my concept is tired. That I can’t write about faith because I’m not Christian enough or that I’m too faith-based and should delete all mentions of (whisper) Jesus. I don’t dance on TikTok or get paid to put on face cream or crop-top sweaters. I’m not an influencer; I’m a

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woman dabbing lotion on her face after a shower as one of the recommended skincare hacks for women

Want to Look Younger? 5 Skincare Hacks for Women of Every Age

By Caroline Beidler / Life & Culture

My son looked up from his car seat, legs like noodles. “Mommy?” “Yes, sweetheart?” “What are those bumps on your face?” I looked in the rearview mirror and touched my cheek and realized that I had broken out. Yes, I still get pimples in middle age. It’s one of the many hideous things no one tells you about until you are living it. Similar to perimenopause (please look this up), forehead 11’s (also look this up if you are under 35), and any number of physical things that happen as we age. Since turning 40, I’ve become obsessed with skincare hacks. Still not sold on the whole “medical spa” thing, I’m relying on other methods to get that youthful glow back along

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god loves all of me even my messy armpit hair

Does God Love All of Me—Even My Messy Armpit Hair?

By Caroline Beidler / Faith, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) It was after my three-year-old daughter’s unsolicited observation that I realized how much God loves all of me—even the messier bits. “What’s under your armpit, mom?” she asked me from the back seat of our minivan. I’d been smooshed between two toddlers for days on highways and back country roads. Memories of the car salesman saying that vans are “roomy” and “give ample leg room” flashed before my mind like some high school prank. I felt like a clam in a slow cooker. We were in and out of Airbnb‘s and survived long nights with extended family (one of our kids doesn’t sleep well traveling) and a handful of states. We hurdled through

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Where Can I Find the Purpose of Life?

By Caroline Beidler / Purpose, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) It started when I was 19: a sudden heaviness in my lungs and edginess I couldn’t shake. As soon as I left home, the weight of the world’s toughest questions began needling me like a three-year-old. The world’s pressures of womanhood becoming equally as frustrating. Suffocating. I’d lay in bed at night in angst and visualize scenes captured by the Hubble telescope: a galaxy, a multitude of galaxies, that speak to the infinite. I’d think about the world and its enormity. The endless possibilities. And then I’d ponder this strange reality, in contrast: the one where I, a woman, had a little path to find. A way. A purpose. I couldn’t help but

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5 Ways You Can Help Loved Ones Struggling with Addiction

By Caroline Beidler / Life & Culture

What can family members do to help loved ones struggling with addiction? This is one of life’s tough questions. One my own family members have had to answer, like searching for a mustard seed in the wilderness. This question can also lead to more questions: How long has your family member been struggling? Have they been to treatment? Are their children with them or in foster care—or perhaps your care? Have you lost a loved one to the struggle? As an author and recovery advocate, this is one of the most asked questions I receive when doing interviews and other events. Why? Well, I’d venture to guess it is because there are more people struggling with addiction and substance use disorders than

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Is It a Midlife Crisis? Or a New Beginning?

By Caroline Beidler / Purpose

Not going to lie: I find the flaps of skin on my arms and the line etching itself into my forehead (that looks just like my mother’s) a bit concerning. Middle age snuck up on me like my husband likes to sneak up on me in the kitchen and pinch my rear. All of a sudden, I’m here. A part of me is elated, and a part of me is petrified. What if I am more than halfway through my life? Is this why the phrase “midlife crisis” was coined? Why men with sprinkles of white in their mustaches slink around car dealerships looking for the shining red muscle car? Why some veer a bit further and look for the other shiny

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This Is What I Would Say to the Man Who Raped Me

By Caroline Beidler / HerStory, Faith

The cutting cold of the night numbed my cheek as I lay against a pillow of snow. My head was heavy—I could not lift it—but my eyes could still look around from my quiet place on the ground. No one. Silence. Maybe the faraway hum of traffic. Maybe a street light casting a yellow shadow on the parked cars. Maybe the taste of acidic peppermint in my mouth. I was glad to be alone. The crowd had become too suffocating. Someone’s parents were gone for the weekend, so a bunch of us decided to have an older brother buy alcohol. The one who smoked Camels and drove a Camaro. Boys in puffy coats sat around a kitchen table and played cards, and

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Walking Away from Mr. Wrong to Love the One Who Is Right

By Caroline Beidler / Relationships, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) He sat in his black chair with a headset on, and periodically, I’d hear him shout obscenities at the screen. He was playing the latest version of his favorite video game on his PlayStation 3 or 4 (I’d lost count), and it was a Friday night. I was sitting on the sofa in the adjacent room, watching some romantic movie that made me feel lonely and worn out as I ate a pint of chocolate ice cream and wondered why, at 30 years old, I was still dating Mr. Wrong, a version of the same boy since high school. This was a typical date night: together but alone. Or it was going to

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My Story from the Downstairs Church with Caroline Beidler

By Caroline Beidler / Faith

Caroline Beidler, MSW, came charging into our world at Grit and Grace Life with a laser-focused sense of direction. Her life has been reclaimed, and she knows it. Her sense of purpose has been clear from the moment she entered our door—no one here had to convince her of it or help her discover it. We simply wanted to help provide a platform to share it, because we believe in her, and we believe in her desire to help others. We’ve enjoyed her talent as a writer, we’ve become acquainted with her heart, and it’s all so vulnerably lovely. So, what greater privilege could we have than the opportunity to share the grand news that she’s written a book? (We always knew

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5 Everyday Spiritual Practices to Grow Your Faith

By Caroline Beidler / Faith

When my pastor recently asked our small group what actions we could commit to taking this week to increase practicing faith in an authentic way, I paused. What came to mind was a series of events from my twenties when life was simple, a bit more melancholic, and I had time for things like spiritual practices and disciplines. During my mid-twenties as a new(ish) convert, I devoured every book I could get my hands on about spiritual formation, long before I even knew that was what I was reading. I sang psalms and wrote new ones as I strummed an out-of-tune black guitar with nail-bitten and calloused fingers. I read and read and read and met some of the greats like Yancey

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How to Find Your Worth In a Counterfeit World

By Caroline Beidler / Faith, Audio Articles

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) I loved to play dress-up as a girl. I’d steal away to my stepmother’s closet and search out the highest heels, the longest string of 80s chunky beads, and the tiny samples of lipstick that she saved from Avon orders. If I was lucky, I’d also find the plastic tiara that somehow ended up in the toy box from a distant prom or Halloween costume. There is a musty photograph of me somewhere smiling, head turned to one side trying to keep that crown from slipping off my blonde bobblehead. While memories of my childhood are patchy, like Swiss cheese, this one remains. Perhaps, because it has been captured in still life. Perhaps,

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