Caroline Beidler

Caroline Beidler, MSW is an author, recovery advocate, and founder of the storytelling platform Circle of Chairs. Her new book Downstairs Church: Finding Hope in the Grit of Addiction and Trauma Recovery is available anywhere you buy books. With almost 20 years in leadership within social work and ministry, she is currently a consultant with JBS International and also a team writer for the Grit and Grace Project and blogger at the global recovery platform In the Rooms, along with founder and visionary of the annual International Women’s Day Global Recovery Event presented by the SHE RECOVERS Foundation. Caroline lives in Tennessee with her husband and twins where she enjoys hiking in the mountains and building up her community’s local recovery ministry.

5 Ways to Make Adult Friends in the Lonely Age of Social Media

5 Ways to Make Adult Friends in the Lonely Age of Social Media

As I scroll through my list of friend requests on social media, I usually ask myself the same questions: if my life was falling apart, could I call on this person? Would they drop everything and be over in a few minutes with a tasty meal or a listening ear or to watch my kids quick while I scream into a pillow? And the answer is almost always “no.” Today, I am “friends” with thousands of people, but I’ve never felt more alone. Why Is It So Easy to Make Friends as a Kid? When I was five years old and regularly wore a pink tutu or my beloved red cowgirl boots and pigtails, I met my soulmate. Her name was Crystal. […]

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I Did a Social Media Detox and Learned Why We're Always Reaching for Our Phones

I Did a Social Media Detox and Learned Why We’re Always Reaching for Our Phones

One day after my 8-year sober birthday, I decided to do a social media detox for a month (or as long as I could). In the beginning, there really wasn’t any end game in mind. My motivation: I realized that somewhere along the way I started caring what people think. And this started to affect how I felt about myself. Oh, and also: I was spending way too much time checking my phone. I wish someone could have taken my picture and posted it as I contemplated what it meant to erase the Facebook and Instagram apps from my phone. I held my finger on the screen and the icons did that little dance, that shaky “please don’t delete me” dance. This

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How to Eat Vegetarian Without Making it Weird

How to Eat Vegetarian Without Making it Weird

Meatloaf and mashed potatoes, Venison steak, and fried chicken—as a Midwest gal, I grew up with these hearty dishes. Savory emanating from the floor boards like the smell of beef chili on game day. Baskets of carbs and real, salted butter. Tall, frothy glasses of milk. Fireworks of bouillon. Moats of gravy. We never thought to eat vegetarian. Don’t even get me started on dessert.  I love food and it’s always loved me. My closet proves this. I have pants that range a handful of sizes. Depending on the season and the frequency of my workout routines, what needs covering melts away like an ice cream cone in summer or swirls into a nice peak and expands like homemade whipping cream. Thankfully,

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man pouring wine into a glass on a holiday dinner table, a potential dilemma for those needing a sober holiday survival guide

Your Sober Holiday Survival Guide

The holidays can be stressful, especially for those of us in recovery. Whether that is recovery from substance use, food addiction, co-dependent relationships, or pretty much anything at all (I believe that we are all in recovery from something), the holidays can put a stress on our recovery journeys. Even good stress can be challenging. Because of this, I wanted to create a resource that can help guide your journey in recovery through the holiday season—or any season—you might find yourself in. In these pages, you will find a quick sober holiday survival guide that will walk with you through the challenges of the season. In this guide, you will learn to: Understand your holiday triggers  Respond in 4 healthy ways Support

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middle-aged woman smirking at her desk next to her laptop after learning to embrace the beauty of rejection

The Beauty of Rejection—Creating a Stronger You

The publishing journey isn’t easy. I’ve had 20+ years of rejections and not-good-enoughs and you’ll-never-be-enoughs. Folders with “not quite” on business letterheads and saved voicemails of “not this time.” “Not you,” says the agent, the editor, the reporter. Not now. I’ve had publishers tell me that my writing is wonderful, but my social media followers aren’t high enough. My concept is original, but my platform needs development. My platform is great, but my concept is tired. That I can’t write about faith because I’m not Christian enough or that I’m too faith-based and should delete all mentions of (whisper) Jesus. I don’t dance on TikTok or get paid to put on face cream or crop-top sweaters. I’m not an influencer; I’m a

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woman dabbing lotion on her face after a shower as one of the recommended skincare hacks for women

Want to Look Younger? 5 Skincare Hacks for Women of Every Age

My son looked up from his car seat, legs like noodles. “Mommy?” “Yes, sweetheart?” “What are those bumps on your face?” I looked in the rearview mirror and touched my cheek and realized that I had broken out. Yes, I still get pimples in middle age. It’s one of the many hideous things no one tells you about until you are living it. Similar to perimenopause (please look this up), forehead 11’s (also look this up if you are under 35), and any number of physical things that happen as we age. Since turning 40, I’ve become obsessed with skincare hacks. Still not sold on the whole “medical spa” thing, I’m relying on other methods to get that youthful glow back along

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god loves all of me even my messy armpit hair

Does God Love All of Me—Even My Messy Armpit Hair?

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) It was after my three-year-old daughter’s unsolicited observation that I realized how much God loves all of me—even the messier bits. “What’s under your armpit, mom?” she asked me from the back seat of our minivan. I’d been smooshed between two toddlers for days on highways and back country roads. Memories of the car salesman saying that vans are “roomy” and “give ample leg room” flashed before my mind like some high school prank. I felt like a clam in a slow cooker. We were in and out of Airbnb‘s and survived long nights with extended family (one of our kids doesn’t sleep well traveling) and a handful of states. We hurdled through

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Where Can I Find the Purpose of Life?

Where Can I Find the Purpose of Life?

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) It started when I was 19: a sudden heaviness in my lungs and edginess I couldn’t shake. As soon as I left home, the weight of the world’s toughest questions began needling me like a three-year-old. The world’s pressures of womanhood becoming equally as frustrating. Suffocating. I’d lay in bed at night in angst and visualize scenes captured by the Hubble telescope: a galaxy, a multitude of galaxies, that speak to the infinite. I’d think about the world and its enormity. The endless possibilities. And then I’d ponder this strange reality, in contrast: the one where I, a woman, had a little path to find. A way. A purpose. I couldn’t help but

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two women sitting across from each other, one holding the other's hand. Feature image for 5 Ways You can Help Loved Ones Struggling with Addiction

5 Ways You Can Help Loved Ones Struggling with Addiction

What can family members do to help loved ones struggling with addiction? This is one of life’s tough questions. One my own family members have had to answer, like searching for a mustard seed in the wilderness. This question can also lead to more questions: How long has your family member been struggling? Have they been to treatment? Are their children with them or in foster care—or perhaps your care? Have you lost a loved one to the struggle? As an author and recovery advocate, this is one of the most asked questions I receive when doing interviews and other events. Why? Well, I’d venture to guess it is because there are more people struggling with addiction and substance use disorders than

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Is It a Midlife Crisis? Or a New Beginning?

Is It a Midlife Crisis? Or a New Beginning?

Not going to lie: I find the flaps of skin on my arms and the line etching itself into my forehead (that looks just like my mother’s) a bit concerning. Middle age snuck up on me like my husband likes to sneak up on me in the kitchen and pinch my rear. All of a sudden, I’m here. A part of me is elated, and a part of me is petrified. What if I am more than halfway through my life? Is this why the phrase “midlife crisis” was coined? Why men with sprinkles of white in their mustaches slink around car dealerships looking for the shining red muscle car? Why some veer a bit further and look for the other shiny

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this is what i would say to the man who raped me

This Is What I Would Say to the Man Who Raped Me

The cutting cold of the night numbed my cheek as I lay against a pillow of snow. My head was heavy—I could not lift it—but my eyes could still look around from my quiet place on the ground. No one. Silence. Maybe the faraway hum of traffic. Maybe a street light casting a yellow shadow on the parked cars. Maybe the taste of acidic peppermint in my mouth. I was glad to be alone. The crowd had become too suffocating. Someone’s parents were gone for the weekend, so a bunch of us decided to have an older brother buy alcohol. The one who smoked Camels and drove a Camaro. Boys in puffy coats sat around a kitchen table and played cards, and

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Walking Away from Mr. Wrong to Love the One Who Is Right

Walking Away from Mr. Wrong to Love the One Who Is Right

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) He sat in his black chair with a headset on, and periodically, I’d hear him shout obscenities at the screen. He was playing the latest version of his favorite video game on his PlayStation 3 or 4 (I’d lost count), and it was a Friday night. I was sitting on the sofa in the adjacent room, watching some romantic movie that made me feel lonely and worn out as I ate a pint of chocolate ice cream and wondered why, at 30 years old, I was still dating Mr. Wrong, a version of the same boy since high school. This was a typical date night: together but alone. Or it was going to

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My Story from the Downstairs Church with Caroline Beidler

My Story from the Downstairs Church with Caroline Beidler

Caroline Beidler, MSW, came charging into our world at Grit and Grace Life with a laser-focused sense of direction. Her life has been reclaimed, and she knows it. Her sense of purpose has been clear from the moment she entered our door—no one here had to convince her of it or help her discover it. We simply wanted to help provide a platform to share it, because we believe in her, and we believe in her desire to help others. We’ve enjoyed her talent as a writer, we’ve become acquainted with her heart, and it’s all so vulnerably lovely. So, what greater privilege could we have than the opportunity to share the grand news that she’s written a book? (We always knew

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5 Everyday Spiritual Practices to Grow Your Faith

5 Everyday Spiritual Practices to Grow Your Faith

When my pastor recently asked our small group what actions we could commit to taking this week to increase practicing faith in an authentic way, I paused. What came to mind was a series of events from my twenties when life was simple, a bit more melancholic, and I had time for things like spiritual practices and disciplines. During my mid-twenties as a new(ish) convert, I devoured every book I could get my hands on about spiritual formation, long before I even knew that was what I was reading. I sang psalms and wrote new ones as I strummed an out-of-tune black guitar with nail-bitten and calloused fingers. I read and read and read and met some of the greats like Yancey

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How to Find Your Worth In a Counterfeit World

How to Find Your Worth In a Counterfeit World

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) I loved to play dress-up as a girl. I’d steal away to my stepmother’s closet and search out the highest heels, the longest string of 80s chunky beads, and the tiny samples of lipstick that she saved from Avon orders. If I was lucky, I’d also find the plastic tiara that somehow ended up in the toy box from a distant prom or Halloween costume.  There is a musty photograph of me somewhere smiling, head turned to one side trying to keep that crown from slipping off my blonde bobblehead. While memories of my childhood are patchy, like Swiss cheese, this one remains. Perhaps, because it has been captured in still life. Perhaps,

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celebrate recovery month with grace instead of judgement

Celebrate Recovery Month With Grace Instead of Judgment

This may be a startling fact: there are over 23 million Americans (and more than half of those women) who identify as being a person in recovery from addiction. That’s a lot of people. Though in the world around us, people don’t celebrate recovery; addiction is rarely associated with something positive like that. If you are around my age (not telling), you might remember the stories upon stories about Lindsey Lohan and her wild red-maned shenanigans and less than glamorous bar-time photos or Charlie Sheen’s interview (I needn’t say more). Addiction in the news is focused on the cringe-worthy, shocking, and keeps us on the edges of our seats type of stories like the latest trending Netflix series on Britney Spears. In

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A Letter to All the Single Ladies: the Good, the Bad and How to Own It

A Letter to All the Single Ladies: the Good, the Bad and How to Own It

(Listen to the audio version of this article here.) I’d like to tell you about my ex. I mean exes. I’d like to share a poignant account of my time being single, and how I survived a string of unhealthy relationships before resting firmly (and a bit unassured) in the coveted marriage and motherhood status.  I’d like to paint an atrocious picture of love gone wrong, of an incredibly insecure and trauma-ridden little girl who grew up to jump in bed with any old crack pot who wanted to be with her (and there were more than a few—God, I hope my kids never read this). Maybe I’d weave in some funny stories here and there—like the time I woke up on

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