Darlene Brock | The Grit and Grace Project

Commitment— the Road Forward in a Relationship

Commitment. What a wonderful yet often terrifying word. It’s so very easy to stay on the sidelines, or put one foot in while the other just can’t make it to the other side. Human nature has a way of avoiding the “all in”. Whether it’s relationships we find ourselves swimming in, the jobs we have been hired to do, the care of our families, or simply the tasks necessary to pull off the thing we call everyday – we have decisions to make. The day I arrived at my wedding location, I looked around and said to myself what I am sure every blissful bride says, “Oh crud, what am I doing? Am I really going through with this thing?” My discussion […]

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You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be a Great Mom

By Darlene Brock / Motherhood

We don’t believe in superhero capes here at The Grit and Grace Project. That’s not to say we aren’t ever superheroes; we absolutely are. We do everything; Earn the paycheck, dry the tears, mow the lawn, balance the budget, cook the meals, and even fix the toilet. But one thing we don’t need to do is to be perfect! It’s something many of us expect from ourselves, but I’m telling you from first-hand knowledge, it is absolutely not necessary. So be encouraged, Mama! One of the worst places to feel this perfection pressure is in the role of mom. We become quite convinced that if we do not meet every need our child has, prevent all cuts, bruises, or hurt of any kind, and keep them

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Do I Have to Act Like a Man to Be Successful at Work?

By Darlene Brock / Work & Money, Life & Culture

Do you ever wonder if you will make career strides in the workplace as a woman? Is it necessary to compete as your male counterparts do, adopting the nature they exhibit in order to succeed? Do you have to act like a man to succeed at work? According to McKinsey & Company, studies on the impact that diversity of employees has in corporate America have shown surprising results. Corporations have achieved significant financial and productive gains to their companies when they are diverse. With racial, ethnical, and gender diversity they have achieved 15 to 35 percent more success. This type of workforce brings with it a range of talents, natures, and life experience. If we, as women, disguise our nature to emulate that of our male counterparts,

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9 Awkward Moments in a Woman’s Life

By Darlene Brock / Life & Culture

Life is full of great moments, but there are also the ones that find us looking around to see if anyone else noticed. It’s the awkward moments that land a permanent place in our memory bank… 1. When crumbs fall in your cleavage and you just have to dig them out. 2. When you wear a wrap skirt on a windy day. 3. When you rub your eyes forgetting you’ve worn eyeliner. 4. You wave back at someone, then realize they were waving at the person behind you. 5. Type a lengthy text and send it to the wrong person (and they were mentioned in said text). 6. Asking someone in a store for a different size, then realizing they don’t work

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Skillet's Korey Cooper Talks About Marriage, Motherhood, and Rock 'n' Roll

Skillet’s Korey Cooper Talks Music, Faith and Family

By Darlene Brock / Faith

A multi-platinum record-selling, international touring rock band is hardly the first place one would look to discover the formula for a great marriage. Celebrities of any type are not generally known for their ability to begin, build, and maintain healthy relationships. However, the year I heard that one couple was celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary in the midst of headlining a major tour, I had to find out more. Success for a unique couple living in an unusual world. Enter John and Korey Cooper of the rock band, Skillet. In order to discover how they made it to this marriage landmark, I had the opportunity to speak to Korey. She gave me some insight into their unusual pairing, living in an unusual

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A Woman of Grit Without a Hard Heart

By Darlene Brock / Purpose, Life & Culture

The ability to push through, face hardships, and confront challenges requires a quality we refer to as grit. We’re not talking about the irritating piece of something that gets in your eye or the type that is on sandpaper to wear down or smooth out a piece of wood. Grit is courage, fortitude, and determination. How do we take on life challenges without hardening the heart? How can one master what’s ahead without becoming that difficult, worn-down kind of person? Therein lies the battle. Here are five things you should never forget when life requires grit: 1. Grit does not mean aggression. The strongest ladies possess quiet, confident strength—picking up the gloves only when necessary. 2. Move forward. Proceed with calm thoughtfulness, never quick reactions.

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7 Things to Look for in a Man

By Darlene Brock / Relationships

I recently read an article listing the top seven characteristics you should look for when hiring an employee. As I read through them, it occurred to me that these are exactly the things every girl seeking a life-long relationship should want. They are the qualities that make a marriage work, will build a healthy partnership, and can weather the storms of life. It made me wonder why we don’t take the same well thought out, purposeful approach in finding marriage material as we do when hiring our next assistant. So let me just share with you these seven qualities that make a great employee and are equally important in the arena of dating relationships. Not cuteness, a great car, or fun on

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The Bachelorette: A Romantic Culture in a Feminist World

By Darlene Brock / Life & Culture, Relationships

This is my first season watching The Bachelorette. Yes, I know, I’m behind the curve. I haven’t watched any season of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, determining it had nothing to do with lasting relationships, choosing to use the space on my DVR for something else. The goal of finding a man who desires a lifelong marriage commitment and is willing to propose at exactly the right moment on camera, well you understand my skepticism. But recently my daughter was visiting when the new season began. She, along with my other daughter and the girls who work with me, are ardent viewers of this series. Convincing me to grab my bottle of water and sit down with her on the sectional, I decided to

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Can Female Bosses Be Nice and Successful?

How to Be a Nice and Successful Girl Boss

By Darlene Brock / Work & Money

Young career ladies often commiserate that it is an impossible task, dealing with difficult issues, while being nice. Success comes through strength not weakness and nice is interpreted as weak. Often pining that when you try to offer words of instruction or reprimand in the same manner as your male counterpart you gain a new title… You know what it is. This does at times happen but I really don’t believe it has to be true. I know from real life experience you can have healthy relationships and be considered a caring human even if you are the boss. It may require a little more pre-planning as a lady, but it is completely worth the effort. Here are a few tips for all

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What to Do if Plan A Looks like Plan F!

By Darlene Brock / Life & Culture

You’ve finally landed your dream job, adopted that foster child you knew was meant to be yours, moved to the big city leaving the small town behind, or finally made your way into the college of your choice. Plan A has been achieved and all is well. Or maybe not… The thing in life about Plan A, if you’re so fortunate to find it, is that it does not answer all of life’s woes. There is very little in life that lives up to our expectations. Yes, I had to say that… Now, before you jump off that proverbial bridge of defeat realize this: whatever follows the failure of Plan A can often become so much better than what you had hoped for in the

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How Can We Be the Bridge to This Great Divide?

By Darlene Brock / Life & Culture

My heart continues to hurt because of the weeks we recently suffered; for the loss of life—all lives. I have never understood the lens that views humanity and focuses on our differences. Why do some individuals want to divide us, to pit us against one another? I don’t understand any of it today. I know we are unique; our life experience defines much of who we are and how we think… Yet I believe that creates an opportunity for us to offer a wonderful, rich perspective to one another. Yes, we do live in neighborhoods that are different from one another, with cultures uniquely our own, but in the uniqueness of our worlds there is a true treasure to be shared. What I do not believe is that

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Do Women Need to Be "Empowered" in Order to Display Strength?

Do Women Need to Be “Empowered” to Display Strength?

By Darlene Brock / Life & Culture, Purpose

When speaking to the world of women’s issues, one of my least favorite words in the entire world is empowerment. Not only do I find it entirely overused, but I believe our gender already has within us an enormous amount of innate power. However, I don’t think we always understand what that means, and I certainly don’t think we draw from it as often as we should. When discussing the second movie installment in the Fifty Shades trilogy, Dakota Johnson (the actress playing the role of Ana Steele), was asked by Entertainment Tonight what she did to prepare for the sex scenes. Her reply, “ shot of whiskey… mints.” She also said, “He does pushups and I just like lay there and drink whiskey.” As

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The Gift of Accepting a Pardon

By Darlene Brock / Faith

What good is forgiveness if we don’t accept it? In 1829, George Wilson was found guilty of murder in a court of law and given a death sentence. But Wilson had some friends who believed he should escape the penalty he was given and petitioned President Andrew Jackson for a pardon. Jackson granted the pardon, which was brought to the prison and given to Wilson. To everyone’s surprise, Wilson said, “I am going to hang.” Never before had someone refused a pardon, so the courts didn’t know what to do. Discussion went all the way to the Supreme Court, where Justice John Marshall gave this ruling: “A pardon is a piece of paper, the value of which depends upon the acceptance by the

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Parenting Adult Children—The Great Shift of Motherhood

By Darlene Brock / Motherhood

There is a seismic shift that occurs somewhere between high school graduation and the “pay your own rent” season in every parent and child’s life. This human, who went from underfoot toddler to challenging teen, is suddenly out the door, certain they are equipped with everything they need to be a “grown-up.” As you watch them confidently stride forward, you realize they have no idea that you’re still trying to figure that one out! But you have spent the last 18+ years getting them ready for this transition, so they are, probably, equipped well enough. The mother-child roles are changing, and it’s a good thing. Walking alongside a healthy, productive adult, who was once that baby in your arms, is a joyful,

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5 Tips on How to Make a Change the Right Way

By Darlene Brock / Purpose, Life & Culture

Are you facing a life obstacle? Career not going as planned? In need of financial help because your spending always outweighs your income? Are you stuck in a bad relationship that needs some work (mother, sibling, friend, boyfriend or husband)? Have circumstances in your life forced a change that you weren’t prepared for and now you have to figure out a new path? Change is a good thing. Yes, I do mean that. We don’t grow or gain strength and character if we remain unchanged. We also will miss countless opportunities and discoveries about what we are both capable of and good at. But how to do it well? Now that is a challenge. Here are 5 tips on making a change the right way: 1. Review. Look

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Do All Strong Women Hate Men?

By Darlene Brock / Life & Culture

I am so very weary of the notion that the sure sign of a strong woman is that she is angry with men. Outspoken or implied, this utter nonsense is everywhere. I’m not saying I’m not angry with some men. Those who think faithfulness is selective, the men who have their tail ends glued to the sofa while constantly playing video games, or the men who make promises they optionally keep … I can be really angry with those guys. But I am certainly not angry just because they have a Y chromosome that makes them what they are: men. Men really are pretty great! A few days ago I was in the grocery store parking lot searching my purse for my keys when

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Can a Setback in Life Be Turned Around for Good?

By Darlene Brock / Faith

I am a “ponderer.” I see the tough things in my life, the lives around me, and the world at large and try to figure out why. Why is it so difficult? Why do we suffer injustice? Why is there so much heartache? Then I continue a mental debate that can span hours. It often creates a complete sadness that ends in me wishing for the day when this earth as it is would end. It really is a bit of a worthless exercise. I then have to accept that all of life’s answers aren’t mine and choose to surrender to one of the anchors of my faith, which is hope. But there were years when my choice of hope was laced with a vague

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