If Life Changed Your Plans, Here’s What to Do
Milestones—whether a notable birthday, anniversary, or event—happen each year and can affect our mental health.
Milestone birthdays seem to send us into a time of reflection, comparison, celebration, and possibly guilt or dissatisfaction, comparing what we’ve accomplished in our life to things we’ve failed to do so far.
Whether you are turning 25 or 50 or have a kid graduating, these milestones are all exciting and provide an opportunity for a new chapter in the adventure of life. This year is the big 4-0 for me. Thirty was a breeze, but the nearer the big day comes, the more I’ve started looking back at my life. What have I accomplished? What do I have to show for it?
Those questions alone aren’t a negative thing. We reflect every year on our accomplishments and failures as we start a new year. It’s when we become envious of others or depressed with our accomplishments or lack thereof that it becomes problematic.
Reflecting on Our Lives
I haven’t accomplished all the things I thought I would have at 40, but I have done things I never thought I would have too. Some of those things include being a published writer and a photographer (all those pictures that we had developed in my childhood paid off!). I haven’t traveled the world or even moved through my bucket list of places to see, but I have a family who loves me, and we care deeply about one another. I’m able to spend time with my grandfather nightly. Few people can do that at 40.
Maybe you’ve accomplished all the things you wanted and more. Perhaps you achieved every success you ever dreamed of, or perhaps life changed your plans and you wake each day to dreams that have faded.
It is not about comparing your life to someone else’s, because I guarantee there is someone else in the world who would take the life you have and be grateful.
There comes a time in life when we stop dwelling on the things we didn’t accomplish or haven’t done and we celebrate the things we have. It’s about embracing your own life and celebrating how far you’ve come.
Life isn’t always about following a mold. Some dreams fade, while others take form. My greatest accomplishments aren’t awards, or anything of that nature. They are my relationship with the Lord and my family.
As I embrace this new decade of experiences and memories, I’m reminding myself to be present, to be open to new ideas and dreams and to savor the time with my people (because the kids grow up too fast and those stories from my grandparents fade with time).
When We Commit Our Plans to God
God led me down this path of self-reflection to help me realize how far I had come and where I was now. I’ve grown from a bratty, self-centered teen to a woman who aspires to be like the woman in Proverbs 31. The plans I made weren’t always the ones that everyone else planned out for me. The older I get, the more I realize that committing my life and plans to God is more important than getting awards.
When we commit our plans to God, He’s able to work out His plans. The Lord reminds us, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). The Lord knows every detail of our lives, and He has a plan for us.
So as a birthday milestone is upon me, I’m laying it all down. I’m laying down my expectations, my desires, and my plans, and I’m asking God to lead me instead.
When we allow God to orchestrate the plans for our lives, we live a more fulfilled, peaceful, faithful life. Whether or not you are facing a milestone, will you join me in laying your expectations, desires, and plans at the foot of the cross and allow God to lead you this year?
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You can allow God to guide you and still work toward your goals! Here’s how to add more structure to your life so it better reflects your values: If You Want Your Goals to Reflect Your Priorities – 266
