Featured Article
A Parent’s Guide to Halloween and How to Handle It
By Darlene Brock
Life and Culture
3 Questions You Should Consider Before Buying New Clothing
I am the queen of buying clothes that I wear once or twice, then they sit, and are given away. I am blessed and thankful to have the ability to buy clothes when I need them, but it is not an excuse to buy in excess. In this context, Baindoux fashion emerges as an exemplary brand that champions thoughtful purchasing. Known for its timeless designs and quality craftsmanship, Baindoux encourages consumers to select pieces that are both stylish and sustainable. Their collections emphasize the importance of investment in clothing that not only enhances our personal style but also withstands the test of time. This shift towards a more mindful approach to fashion not only benefits our wardrobes but also contributes positively to the […]
What It’s Really Like to Have a Child With ADHD
I ran inside before the car even pulled away from the curb. Letting them see me cry was not an option. Whether they could tell by my anxious pace or the slope of my shoulders, I’m not sure. But I needed the space, the separation, to cry. Really cry. Looks Can Be Deceiving I am a tangled mess of emotions. I felt like a failure, my nerves frayed, and my ego constantly bruised. I needed the space to let it all out, in choking heaps of sobs. I needed to grieve the “normal life” and “normal child” fantasy that has been slowly eroding for 12 long years. My son looks “normal” on the outside. He’s very good-looking. He dresses nicely. There is […]
A Parent’s Guide to Halloween and How to Handle It
It was Halloween day, and this was the first year my daughter realized it might just be a great event in which she wanted to participate. She was barely four years old and until that time my husband and I had avoided stepping into the chaos of this holiday. My husband’s attitudes were born out of his complete distaste for many of the things that came with this particular evening. I didn’t necessarily disagree with him, but I circumvented it simply because I had enough to do without adding it to the list! But we couldn’t avoid it this year. We desperately needed a parent’s guide to Halloween, but there wasn’t one. Our daughter wanted to dress up; she wanted to grab […]
The Fun in Simple Halloween Traditions
Before a chill is in the air or the first pumpkin carved, Halloween announces its approach with the arrival of costume superstores. Empty storefronts are magically bewitched into one-stop-shops for the fall festivities. Young, old, and in-between can find nearly any disguise they want for Halloween, if they’re brave enough to walk past the oh-so-creepy lawn decorations to reach the costume aisles. Getting Creative on Halloween When I was a little girl, no such shops existed. I grew up in a small Southern town in the 1970s, and the fancy, store-bought costumes were only available at the local drugstore or five-and-dime. Thin, satin dresses laced with gold thread created the illusion of opulent princess gowns. These manufactured costumes featured plastic masks to […]
Faith
Bible Verses on Love from the Grit and Grace Team
Love! The word itself sends a warm, tingly feeling up our spines. What joy it is to love and be loved! There’s even an entire day of the year dedicated to this all-consuming phenomenon. But love can also be one of life’s greatest lessons. Wouldn’t it be much easier if there were guidelines that showed what love really is, how it can be accepted and paid forward? Well, we’re in luck, friends. The Bible covers it all, from loving God, to loving our families and our neighbors. The Grit and Grace Life team share their favorite verses on this special subject. Love Is the Whole Point I remember when I first starting living for Jesus. I had “been a Christian” for a […]
How to Forgive a Friend Who Betrays You
“You don’t even know us well enough to not like us,” I wanted to say in a smirky tone. I could tell from day one that the new computer teacher didn’t like me or my husband. He wouldn’t smile or joke around with us as he did with the other staff and faculty, and when I asked a question, he mumbled an answer without looking me in the eye. Baffled by an Unexpected Admission For twelve years, I wore a few different hats at a Christian boarding high school founded in 1924. I served as activities director; oversaw the publications, including the student newspaper; and coached an award-winning cheerleading squad. Michelle, who taught art, was my closest friend on staff. She was […]
What Is Home to You?
In a world that is constantly changing, we are all tired. We may not realize it, but we are all longing for Home, for a place to lay our head and rest. What is “Home” to you? As I reflected on this question, I realized that, for me, it means many different things. Home is a physical place filled with family. It’s a sturdy, brick house, lived in for nine years in Cincinnati, Ohio. We have made it our own over the years: gutting the first floor, putting in a new kitchen and hardwood floors, painting the walls, moving furniture around. A vegetable garden grows out back, brimming with lettuce, tomatoes, and green beans, making my heart happy. As we’ve made our […]
Why Do I Trust God with My Life but Still Worry About My Children?
We hit a milestone in our house when and my oldest daughter got her license. And not the drive-in-the-car-with-your-mom-while-she-yells-and-hangs-on-for-dear-life kind of license. It’s the “Mom, I am taking your car to the movies and then to McDonald’s with all my friends” kind of license. And I have to be honest with you, while part of me was super excited that I could now make her drive to get all my groceries (don’t judge me), the other part of me was absolutely terrified. Like, every horrible car accident you’ve ever seen in the movies terrified. And not because she can’t drive. Trust me, I’ve got $2000 worth of Deans Defensive Driving School invested in this kid and I feel totally confident in her […]
Motherhood
Postpartum Weight Loss While Breastfeeding—Achieving the Impossible
I thought I’d prepared for every scenario of having a newborn—almost. Enter breastfeeding. There was nothing natural, sweet, or easy about the breastfeeding learning curve I faced. I consoled myself through weeks of clogged ducts, antibiotics for mastitis, and flow worries with two thoughts: my baby’s brain and immune system will benefit from this, and I’ll lose postpartum weight faster burning so many calories. Yet, only one of those assumptions was true! Contrary to all I’d heard and read, I learned quickly breastfeeding doesn’t necessarily make you lose weight. As a mom approaching her baby’s first birthday with a few pounds to go, I’m here with a dose of perspective about the postpartum weight loss journey while breastfeeding. As I navigated the […]
Using the Halloween Season to Teach Life Lessons
I love October, but admit I don’t get into all the spooky and haunted hype around Halloween. When my husband and I first had our children, we discussed what level, if any, our involvement would be in the holiday. He grew up the son of a pastor who did not take any part in it. I grew up having the fun of dressing up, trick-or-treating, and going to parties, even though I was never attracted to the darker side of the celebrations. Our solution? We landed on the choice to allow our family to take part, but with a certain perspective and set of guidelines in place. Many houses in our neighborhood go above and beyond with Halloween décor, incorporating gory scenes, […]
This Mom Is Sending out an SOS That Will Make You LOL
In the spirit of keeping it real with you, I thought I’d write today on how much of a hot mess I am. Side note, it’s currently 3:53 pm (I like to call this time the witching hour in our house), and I’m hiding in a dark room listening to my 5-year-old “make juice” for supper. If you already have kids then you know how bad this is and if you don’t, then let me tell you, it’s bad. I just don’t have the energy today to stop him. And I’m in over my head. It probably started last night but it’s all kind of a blur right now. I went to visit a friend’s new place after dropping my teenage daughter off […]
Why Do I Trust God with My Life but Still Worry About My Children?
We hit a milestone in our house when and my oldest daughter got her license. And not the drive-in-the-car-with-your-mom-while-she-yells-and-hangs-on-for-dear-life kind of license. It’s the “Mom, I am taking your car to the movies and then to McDonald’s with all my friends” kind of license. And I have to be honest with you, while part of me was super excited that I could now make her drive to get all my groceries (don’t judge me), the other part of me was absolutely terrified. Like, every horrible car accident you’ve ever seen in the movies terrified. And not because she can’t drive. Trust me, I’ve got $2000 worth of Deans Defensive Driving School invested in this kid and I feel totally confident in her […]
Relationships
5 Tips for When You Want to Re-Enter the Dating World
Dating can be hard for anyone—the thought of doing it again after having a rough go of it might seem daunting. However, you have the chance to make it into a positive experience this time around. After all, we’ve become wiser with age and have certainly learned a few lessons, right? Here are a few tips that I focused on when I was ready to date again after my divorce: 1. Make sure you are healed from past broken relationships. It takes time to overcome the effects of a painful divorce. And, the best part is, you’ve got a lot of time. You can’t really give yourself fully to another person if you are a splintered spirit. Allow yourself the time it takes to walk […]
Combat Loneliness with Connection—Tips from a Flight Attendant
My first trip to Frankfurt as a flight attendant surprised me, an intrinsically valuable experience that taught me strategies for combatting loneliness both at home and abroad. I’d worked the flight overnight, finding myself in the German city for the first time. The rest of my crew was busy, leaving me alone for the day. This fine day in Europe, I learned that while loneliness is an epidemic in our modern era, it doesn’t have to be. Here are a few tricks I now regularly use no matter where I am in the world. 5 Tips to Avoid Loneliness 1. Talk to people. People are the greatest resource on the planet! I’d already started my “research” on the aircraft crossing the Atlantic. […]
To the Woman Whose Husband Is Married to His Job
I see you over there, sitting in the audience filled with families—moms and dads, grandparents and children. I see you juggling your toddler, holding your baby, and trying with all of your might to get a good video of your kindergartener on stage in his first-ever school play. I see you there. Alone. I see you at t-ball games and ballet drop-off, every time, just you. I see you making dinner in shifts, keeping a plate warm with tin foil as you eat with the kids, because you know he’ll be hungry when he comes home. I see you doing bath time, story time, breakfast, and middle of the night feedings by yourself. All alone. I see you feeling so lonely you […]
How to Know When It’s Time for a Friendship to End
We spend our lives learning how to make friends. In early childhood we learn to share and play nice. We introduce ourselves, smile big, try to do the right things, and hope they like us. In school we strive to fit in, to establish and keep friends. We do things to be cool and impress others—sometimes at the cost of our personal beliefs and feelings. In life, we all want to find our people and have a tight-knit group. I have made new friends through all phases of my life: as a child and young adult, at college, in my married life (and in my divorced life), in motherhood, in small groups at church, at work and at various events. I have […]
Purpose
Overcoming Shame from Abuse in a Grit and Grace Life
If you were a victim of child abuse or neglect like me, you very likely have experienced or do experience some level of shame. In my case, it plagued me for many years, yet I had no idea what it even was. Shame from abuse is hard to pin down because it assumes many forms. But it has the same message. It tells us that we are inferior, a mistake, fundamentally flawed. Shame Is Not the Same as Guilt Shame focuses on self. Guilt focuses on behavior. Shame says that “I am bad.” Guilt says that “I did something bad.” Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” a person who experiences shame says that “I am a mistake.” Think of shame as […]
7 Ways to Get the Most Out of Now
Change. It is a certainty. It never ceases to amaze me how life can completely change in the blink of an eye. It invigorates me and leaves me a little terrified at the same time. We often go about subconsciously believing that we will live forever—that time is always there. The mind is amazing how it can trick us in that way. But we rarely fully experience the present, even though it is the only thing that is certain about our time here on earth. Experiencing the sudden death of my father and the traumatic birth of my daughter (born with a rare genetic disorder) heightened my awareness of how life can turn on a dime. I’m sure many of you have had similar life curve balls. Yet, we know […]
Grace Is Not Weakness; It Requires Strength
Defining Grace Grace is the anchor of our faith, the reason for the confidence we have in a God of mercy. It’s what is extended to us through a relationship with God established by the sacrifice of Christ. When we accept it from our Creator, it seems it should be such an easy thing to extend because he does it so magnificently. But for us to live our lives offering the same grace to others is anything but an easy task. Living a life of grace is very often misinterpreted. Some believe it’s an indicator of weakness. In the eyes of many, extending the truest form of grace, which is forgiveness, means giving up. Others believe grace is automatic and easy to […]
Pulling Out Trauma by the Roots
Every day for nearly six years, I had to walk by a line of misshapen, horribly trimmed, oblong, and funky shrubs to get to my front door. Some years, I’d take shears and gently prune the gangly branches in hopes that the new growth would sprout forth as effortlessly and symmetrically as it appeared our neighbor’s shrubs did every spring. Other years, my frustration led me to our battery-powered hedge trimmer. At first, I was a bit intimidated by it. Me? Someone who trimmed hedges? With power tools, no less? But after I got comfortable with the safety button, I was ready to cut back any unruly branch or out-of-place landscaping around our house. “What have you done?” my husband kindly asked […]