“I’m bored!”
Does this complaint from your kids hit you like a splash of cold water, causing your body to tense and your cortisol to rise?
If so, you’re not alone. We live in a world that constantly tells us we must shield our children from boredom at all costs. Our attention is seen as a profitable commodity, so companies fiercely compete for it.
Naturally, these corporations send the subtle message that boredom is a dirty word—something we should never subject ourselves to, much less our children. This corporate narrative dovetails perfectly with a cultural moment where kids are often put on a pedestal; their every dopamine craving—cleverly exploited by these companies—must be instantly satisfied: another reel, another video game, another toy, another snack.
But what if we have it all upside down? What if our kids are capable of far more patience, more resilience, and more boredom than we often give them credit for? And what if boredom, rather than limiting our children, is actually a vehicle that boosts their creativity?
The Benefits of Boredom
Studies show that if we allow our kids to be bored, we make room for them to develop new forms of play, reflection, and self-entertainment.¹ By giving this space for boredom, we directly help our kids cultivate creativity, imagination, and resourcefulness.
When I think back to my childhood, I can clearly remember how I handled dull moments. Waiting at the doctor’s office became an opportunity to dream up a story; long car rides were a chance to invent a new game; and free afternoons offered me time to read a long book.
I wonder, was it the same for you?
If so, I’d love to share five guidelines for successfully building unstructured time into our children’s lives. While some of these guidelines are practical “how-tos,” others are crucial steps toward understanding why we sometimes overfill our children’s schedules instead of giving them the free time they need so much.
5 Ways to Build More Unstructured Time Into Your Child’s Day
1. Examine current rhythms and rethink expectations.
This will vary depending on our children’s ages and our family context.
For example, a homeschooling family with children who finish schoolwork by noon might easily manage numerous extracurriculars, voluntary work, and regular church commitments while still having plenty of free time. On the other hand, for a family whose children attend a state school and finish classes in the late afternoon, adding daily extracurriculars, homework, chores, and other commitments will likely result in almost zero free time.
The important thing, therefore, is for you to be honest about your family situation and be willing to do things differently from other families in order to prioritize and protect your children’s unstructured time
2. Evaluate motives and family vision.
Often, our children have little unstructured time because we impose overwhelming expectations on them: excelling in school, mastering an instrument, participating in team sports, learning languages, attending art classes, and so on.
These expectations sometimes stem from the fear that our children won’t be as successful as their peers if we fail to enroll them in these activities. At other times, however, our motivation is simply pride—we seek their accomplishments as a reflection of our own success. Both stances highlight our bias towards externally validated pursuits over unstructured creative time; however, the deeper issue is our distorted perspective.
As followers of Jesus, we are called to find our identity in Him, not in the amount of activities, medals, or accolades our children possess. Therefore, we must guide our children’s use of time based on faith, never on fear or pride.
When we encourage our children to excel in schoolwork and be involved in activities with the motive of glorifying God, spreading the Gospel, and acting in obedience to Him, we find peace. Conversely, if our motive is merely to keep up appearances or seek external recognition for their potential, we’ll experience dissatisfaction and endlessly pursue the next activity, the next award.
That’s why it’s essential that you prayerfully establish a family vision, using God’s mission for you as the ultimate filter for how each family member uses their time.
3. Rethink leisure and embrace boredom.
To foster our children’s ability to rest, imagine, and create, we must actively model restful and creative leisure time and ensure they have ample unstructured time themselves. Though they may initially complain of boredom, consistently providing this space will help them overcome their reliance on passive entertainment and external stimulation. Our ultimate aim is to cultivate intrinsic motivation so that they actively engage with the world.
When given unstructured time, my children naturally gravitate toward creative, active pursuits: building with LEGOs, crafting, reading, writing stories, or inventing their own games. It’s such a blessing to see them glorifying God with their creativity.
I’d like to encourage you to watch your children during their unstructured time: observe where their intrinsic motivation leads them. What do they do with this space? How do they choose to express their God-given creativity?
4. Make time for leisure during the week.
Daily unstructured time is vital for our children to rest, play, think, imagine, and create, regardless of whether they are homeschooled or attend a state school. Whether it’s an hour after lunch or a couple of hours in the evening, as parents we need to ensure our children get unstructured time every single day.
Often, achieving this requires being willing to let a few things go. If your child’s schedule is packed, you’ll need to remove some commitments. To start, involve your child in the decision-making. Ask your child to choose their favorite few activities to focus on this season. Let them know this isn’t necessarily a permanent goodbye, but a way to enjoy the chosen ones more fully, and they can revisit the others later. This selection process won’t always be easy, so ask the Lord for discernment on how to handle it well.
You might also get pushback from others when you do this. Some interpret making time for rest and recreation as ‘being lazy,’ rather than seeing it for what it truly is: being a good steward of our lives.
5. Make time for leisure as a family.
Creating space for family leisure is key to positioning our children to grow in rest and creativity.
This doesn’t need to be complex. It might involve a nature walk together, lingering over a long dinner while reading the Bible, listening to a book read aloud, or simply being in the same room while each person chooses their own restful activity.
Dismiss the initial thought that this is simply not feasible. Yes, this dedicated time for rest may sound idyllic, but the trick is to take small, manageable steps. Start by setting aside just one hour a week, then add to it gradually. For some families, the weekend is the only window for this kind of unstructured time; for others, it might be a few weekday evenings. Either approach works. The key is to persevere, remembering that the more we prioritize rest as a family, the better our children will be able to engage in it themselves.
For our family, dedicating Saturdays to this has been transformational. We usually start the day with breakfast together, followed by a nature walk, a trip to the park, or a visit to a new place. Kicking off the weekend with this collective, unhurried time not only strengthens our family ties but also frees our minds to relax, imagine, and create for the rest of the week.
A Prayer to Conclude
Heavenly Father, I come to you, acknowledging the pressure of a world that constantly demands my children’s attention. Forgive me for the times I’ve acted out of fear or pride, sacrificing my children’s rest, joy, and growth by seeking external validation.
I thank You for my family, Lord, and I pray You would show us Your vision for us. Please give us the courage to examine our hurried schedules and remove the activities that don’t align with Your mission. May Your purpose be the ultimate filter for how we spend our time.
I pray You would give me the wisdom to see boredom not as a problem, but as an invitation for my children to encounter and glorify You by using their creativity. Teach me to trust in You in every quiet moment.
Help me to model and prioritize true rest—active rest that nurtures the soul and honors You. May our family leisure time strengthen our bonds and become a beautiful way to glorify You with the unique gifts You have given us.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
