5 Tips for Mending Fences in Your Relationships

It’s a great time to begin mending fences. Not the ones in the back 40 of the ranch where very few of us currently live; I’m talking about the fences that require repair between us. We all experience damaged or broken relationships. Admittedly, some relationships are beyond repair, but most of the time, that’s not the case.

So ask yourself, do you really want to be 90 years old, comfortable in your lift chair, and remember a relationship you once had? Pondering the friend you lost because of anger over something you can no longer recall? The sibling rivalry you never outgrew? Or the parent you walked away from? Probably not. So, how do you manage this repair process before the knees give out and the memory fades?

Here are the 5 Steps to begin mending fences.

1. Remember the Good.

Quit focusing on what went wrong. Instead, focus on the good things, the good times, and the relationship that was. You had a relationship before. One that had great moments, heartwarming memories, shared laughter and probably shared heartbreak. Those can be created again so let those memories lead the way.

2. Reach Out.

Don’t let pride tell you they must make the first move. It may never happen, and it’s too important not to be the one who steps up. It will take courage, humility, and even embedded in a good dose of fear to re-engage. But put all of those emotions aside and be the one to take that step.

Now’s the time to start mending the fences that are in need of repair between us. The damaged or broken relationships we all experience.

3. Apologize.

Yep, you may not have been the initiator or the difficult one, but you can’t say you did everything right. No one does. So tell them you’re sorry! There is always something you can be sorry about, so be willing to acknowledge it.

4. Talk.

About the problem if need be, about the good times, about the future. Starting these conversations usually brings trepidation. What if? Leads your thoughts. They may not want to engage, relive, or review the past. They may reject you, with no interest in building toward the future. Or they may not. Beginning a new conversation is the only way you will find out and imperative to rebuilding your relationship.

5. Follow Up.

Relationship rebuilding will take time, attention, and commitment. A relationship that needs mending, much like mending fences, takes time, materials, and effort. It’s not one-and-done. Nor should it be. Know that as you take the steps toward healing, it’s worth the investment, so make it.

Reach out today. Reach out next week. Work up the courage and reach out. Each relationship repaired will be an added treasure refined, polished, and perfected in this thing we call life. And in this season of life, that kind of treasure is one of the most valuable things in our lives.