5 Things You Need to Quit Right Now

I was scrolling through Instagram the other day and came across a quote that said:

5 Things to Quit Right Now:

1. Trying to please everyone.
2. Fearing change.
3. Living in the past.
4. Putting yourself down.
5. Overthinking.

That’s actually pretty good advice, I thought. So I took a screenshot of it and decided to take it to heart.

Here’s why I think we should quit each thing on that list:

1. Trying to please everyone.

It’s simply impossible, and if you live your life seriously trying to accomplish this goal, you’ll run yourself ragged… And probably feel like a failure, because it’s simply unachievable. Don’t do that to yourself. Be kind, respectful, and do your best to love your neighbor as yourself—be a good person. If you follow those guidelines, you’ll have done all you can.

2. Fearing change.

Change can most certainly be scary—no doubt about it! But oftentimes once we get past the (usually irrational) fear, we’ll find opportunities that would have never come about otherwise. Leaving your friends and family and moving to a new city can be intimidating, but it just might open your eyes to how big the world actually is—there’s so much out there! Leaving a job you aren’t happy in might involve risks, but pursuing a dream or passion can feel similar to falling in love—everything suddenly becomes technicolor. Plus, seeing yourself disregard fear, overcome obstacles, and thrive is quite honestly sometimes better than falling in love.

3. Living in the past.

There is value in recognizing errors, learning from mistakes, and making amends for things you’ve done wrong—it’s called being a responsible, mature person. However, dwelling on those mistakes is a whole different topic. Dwelling doesn’t fix or change anything. It doesn’t heal the hearts we’ve broken or restore friendships. It just makes us miserable. Don’t go there. Do what you can to redeem what you can, then trust that what is supposed to happen will… And that you’ve done all you can to have a clear conscience. Don’t hold yourself in a prison of regret—live in freedom.

4. Putting yourself down.

We all do it. Sometimes it’s because we really don’t like ourselves; sometimes it’s to make others (and ourselves) laugh. Being able to laugh at yourself is one thing—it’s attractive to be comfortable enough in who you are to let things go. Don’t take yourself so seriously. However, telling yourself that you’re stupid when you make a mistake or blaming yourself when someone else has clearly wronged you is not healthy. If you are chronically speaking unkind words to yourself, you can do some serious damage. After all, we hear our own thoughts more than anything else throughout the day. Let’s learn to give ourselves grace. (And don’t miss our article, 3 Ways Positive Self-Talk Can Improve Your Life.)

5. Overthinking.

This goes along with #3, living in the past, but it also applies to the present. We become so consumed with trying to say things perfectly, explaining what “we really meant” when we said you-fill-in-the-blank to so-and-so, and we end up oh so weary from all of the overthinking. Many times, what we are actually doing is trying to manage what other people think about us—circling back to #1.

But why do we worry so much about what other people think? Could it have something to do with #4—putting ourselves down? If we don’t like ourselves, then it’s hard to believe that anyone else does.

When I was in college, one of the textbooks I was reading said that we often worry so much about what other people are thinking about us, yet they aren’t thinking about us at all. We are selfish people, and we think about ourselves more than anyone else—so chances are, that person you are worrying about is probably worrying about themselves or simply thinking about the things that are going on in their own life. That’s kind of a relief, huh?

So, to all of the women living their lives with grit and grace, let’s quit these five things right now! We will certainly fall back into old ways from time to time, but remember, offer yourself grace upon grace upon grace.
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