Ashley Vancil | The Grit and Grace Project

How to Know When It’s Time for a Friendship to End

We spend our lives learning how to make friends. In early childhood we learn to share and play nice. We introduce ourselves, smile big, try to do the right things, and hope they like us. In school we strive to fit in, to establish and keep friends. We do things to be cool and impress others—sometimes at the cost of our personal beliefs and feelings. In life, we all want to find our people and have a tight-knit group. I have made new friends through all phases of my life: as a child and young adult, at college, in my married life (and in my divorced life), in motherhood, in small groups at church, at work and at various events. I have […]

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How to Avoid the Wrong Guy: A Checklist for Strong Women

By Ashley Vancil / Relationships, HerStory

Dating isn’t how I remember it before I was married. I don’t have any idea when things changed so drastically, but man have they. Even though I haven’t figured all of that out yet, one thing I do know that stays the same is for some unknown reason girls tend to go for the emotionally unavailable man and we detour from the sweet guy. Every female in the history of forever has done this. Women are always talking about it, so I know we are in the same boat. “Why do I always end up with the wrong guy?” “How do I always end up with the guy with 100 issues?” “What do I do wrong when it comes to men?” I

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Trapped in a Past Relationship? Here’s the Best Way to Move On

By Ashley Vancil / Relationships

Treading the waters of the “single” world and learning to move on from a past relationship can be tough. I never imagined that I would be in my mid-30s, divorced and single. Let us throw in dating as a single mama of three. It seemed like such a daunting, impossible task. Until one day it wasn’t. I’ve spent the majority of the past few years focusing on my health, mental healing, and doing some deep soul work in order to grow. I realized that it’s hard to break away from a relationship because humans, by nature, are not meant to be alone. The pain we feel coming out of a relationship is often the result of looking to someone else to feel

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4 Simple Ways to Care for Kids After Divorce

By Ashley Vancil / Motherhood

One of the hardest parts about divorce with children is trying to stay on level ground. Let’s be real, divorce is never easy, but when there are children involved it makes things a lot more complicated. The thing we need to remember, though, is that our kids aren’t divorcing when we do. They didn’t choose this path. It is where they were placed and finding a way to make that transition easier for them should be the main goal for everyone involved. Having young children, I have realized that through this process they crave and need the same things from both sides: security, communication, and love. Pretty simple, you would think, but so many factors play into making it happen. Going between

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This Single Mom Bought a Pop-Up Camper and This Is What Happened…

By Ashley Vancil / Motherhood

Have you ever gone through so much in one year you just know something big, grand, and wonderful is waiting for you next year? I am pretty sure I woke up on January 1 saying, “Hello, you beautiful new blessed year; let’s do this thing!” Then all the things start happening in life that aren’t the things you planned to happen and before you know it it’s halfway through the year and you go into panic mode. Maybe this isn’t your year at all, and things haven’t fallen beautifully into place. I suppose I am grateful that for me they have not. I know that may sound a little insane and honestly, I hope you realize just how sane it really is.

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This Is Why You Need to Start Your Day With Intent and Purpose

By Ashley Vancil / Purpose

One of my main goals at the start of this year was to begin each day with intent and purpose. I am so glad that I stuck with it; it has allowed me to appreciate every day and helped me focus on what’s important. My year has been full of setbacks, triumphs, accomplished goals, and shattered dreams. Without it all, I wouldn’t have been able to see that I can focus on my purpose every day no matter what is going on. In order to achieve my main goal of living with purpose, I must focus on being intentional with my time and energy. There are small and simple ways of doing so, and I think everyone could benefit from some of them.

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This Is How I’m Growing Through Divorce

By Ashley Vancil / Relationships

Let me be frank here, I never expected to join the “Divorced Women Club” but it’s a thing, and here I am. (Logo designs coming soon…kidding.) Learning how to be a single mom, not a crazy ex-wife, and a decent human being is trying. I feel like I should be getting a part-time paycheck for the work my mind is putting into this. If you haven’t been here, it is hard. The crappy thing is that there is no right way to do it because everyone’s situation is so different. I will not lie and say I am holding it all together and doing it all right. However, I am gracefully learning from my mistakes, apologizing even when I don’t feel like

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9 Fitness Accessories That You Need to Try Now

By Ashley Vancil / Health & Beauty

Over the years, working out has become something that I love and look forward to doing, but it has taken me a very long time to get to that point. There have been lots of fad programs, bandwagon diets, and doing all the things everyone around me was doing. I would quit quickly and then be ready to try the next best thing once I inevitably gained some weight back. One day I decided to simply do the things I wanted to do when I wanted to do them. Once I began to follow that line of thinking, working out became enjoyable for me. Now, I look forward to it. It’s my little bit of personal improvement, and it’s not just for me

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What This Strong Woman Did When Her Husband Left

By Ashley Vancil / Relationships

“I don’t love you, and I haven’t for a long time. I don’t think we should be together.” Words I never imagined hearing from my husband, much less a little over a month before our third son was due. We had a plan. I knew we were both stressed; that we were fighting more than normal, but I never thought things were that bad. I was a good mom, I kept up with everything at the house, and I always made sure dinner was prepared when he got home. We weren’t great, but we were okay. I spent the next few weeks begging for forgiveness. “Don’t do this! Don’t separate our family! We love each other; we can get through this!” After a

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Struggling to Balance It All? 3 Helpful Tweaks for Moms

By Ashley Vancil / Motherhood

In a world where you are always needed and on the go, finding a way to balance life and not lose yourself is crucial. The hard part is finding a way to do that. It’s the balancing act that is key here. Allotting the right amount of time for everything that requires your attention. Being a working mother to three boys under the age of six is demanding enough. Once you add in wife, housework, pets, cooking, doctors appointments, working out, meal planning, grocery shopping, bill paying, and giving everyone the amount of attention they need, we forget ourselves. We are drained and depleted. Most of the time running on fumes just trying to make it day to day. Where is the joy in that? How are

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This Is How to Work Hard and Still Be a Great Mom

By Ashley Vancil / Motherhood, Work & Money

It is possible to be a successful working mom and to still be a good mom. I have been the stay-at-home mom, but I am currently the mom who works full-time. Let me tell you, both are hard work and it is true: a mother’s work is never done. We are always on call. Here is how I have been able to get things done and still be present for my family when I am home. Planning is key! I have always been the person who must write everything down. It helps me to process and focus. If I know what I have coming up with work events, appointments, and meetings then I can compare and plan. I make sure I am

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