I read through the newsletter and my heart wilted like a flower without water as I took in each accomplishment a well-known Christian mom author had achieved in the last month. Podcast appearances, books read, writing gigs, amazing parent/child activities, new workout regimes.
How had she managed to do so much? Why couldn’t I achieve as much with my time? The problem was my circumstances, I concluded. I didn’t know the right people. I didn’t have the time freedom I’d like to have.
The greatest tragedy brought about by the digital revolution is that we have gained a superficial view of other people’s lives. We see their highlights and accomplishments, but we know nothing of their battles or weaknesses.
This false perception leads us to believe that ultimate joy is out there, being achieved by others. At first, we may feel a stroke of inspiration. But then, as we contemplate more of the curated lives of others, we often fall into a downward spiral of discontent with our lot in life. If only we lived where salaries were higher. If only our work hours weren’t so long. If only…
The enemy will whisper to us that what others are achieving is where life is at. We need to earn more. We need to pursue more. We’ll be happier if we do more.
The Age of Comparison
The objects of our comparison are usually superficial—we place people on a pedestal based on what we perceive from the outside. But if we took a deep dive into the idolized lives of those we envy, we’d see it’s not all roses.
Take the author I mentioned at the beginning. Yes, she is wonderfully gifted, but she also raises children with special needs and lives with chronic pain herself, a fact I only discovered months after reading that newsletter.
In the West, we’re seeing levels of wealth that are unimaginable in many other parts of the world. Yet that is not the message we get pumped with every day on our devices. Modern marketing presents us with the false promise that accumulation equals happiness. It sells us the idea that we’ll be happier once we have X, Y, and Z. But once we possess it, we’re soon exposed to a new product, with the subliminal suggestion that what we just bought still isn’t enough.
Simple living is not only rare in the Western mindset but something to be looked down upon. Yet in the upside-down Kingdom, simplicity is not passivity. It’s organizing our lives according to what matters most—God, community, family—and finding joy and contentment in simple pursuits.
Is Simple Living the Way of Jesus?
Hustling to buy things to gain happiness, and hurrying to do things to gain worth, deny the Gospel to the core—they deny that all joy and fulfillment come from the Father.
Jesus calls us to find our worth in Him, not in our career accomplishments. He calls us to steward what He has set before us, not to pine for other people’s lives. He calls us to find pleasure in His gifts in the present, not to crave accumulation in the future.
While He lived on earth, Jesus didn’t wait for the next thing to feel like His life mattered—He was fully present to the person in front of Him and the moment He was given. He engaged with and enjoyed God’s gifts in the present, rather than reaching past them for something more.
Why You Compare Yourself and Desire More
Discontent and restlessness are rooted in desire. Yet the problem with discontent is not desire itself, but disordered desire — craving what cannot satisfy, instead of turning to the only One who can.
The greatest tragedy brought about by the digital revolution is that we have gained a superficial view of other people’s lives. We see their highlights and accomplishments, but we know nothing of their battles or weaknesses.
Dallas Willard put it this way: “Desire is infinite partly because we were made by God, made for God, made to need God, and made to run on God… the desire for the infinite remains, but it is displaced upon things that will certainly lead to destruction.”
How to Find True Contentment
Deep, long-lasting contentment is not possible in our flesh—we can’t be truly content if we haven’t first found our soul’s satisfaction in God.
Contentment isn’t just about buying less stuff or embracing a simple lifestyle. (Even the pagans can do that.) Rather, it’s a heart posture of love for and trust in God, which leads to a simple and joyful life.
When we’re content, God enables us to notice the good and beautiful all around us: the pattern of rain showering the ground on a cold autumn day, the scent of our lavender flowers wafting up in the morning breeze, the intricate beauty of a butterfly’s wings.
When we’re content, we’re able to delight in things we don’t own, but we get to use: books from the library, a beautiful park in our city, our best friend’s log fire. We accept them all as gifts from our Good Father because we know that even what we own does not ultimately belong to us. We were born with nothing, and we will leave with nothing. This is what it means to hold gifts lightly, yet treasure them fully.
Practicing Simplicity
This contentment in simplicity has less to do with trendy minimalism and more to do with generosity toward God and others. It’s a life where we buy less, yet enjoy more. A life where we’re less busy, yet more fulfilled.
As humans, we are limited—by our need to rest, our need to eat, our incapacity to do all things well, all the time. Yet as women, we feel the pressure to cook homemade meals, develop our careers, ferry our children to endless activities, keep pristine homes, serve in church ministry, start small businesses. No wonder so many of us feel like a candle burning at both ends.
What’s the answer? Prioritize, with no guilty feelings—and let the Holy Spirit, not the internet, tell you what a full life is supposed to look like.
One Christmas, a couple of years ago, God led me to do exactly that. Between my teaching work, writing, housework, hosting, church events, and childcare, I sensed I would have little time left for my author platform work—namely my podcast, blog, and newsletter. So I relinquished them for a season. Looking back, I really don’t know how I would have coped had I not done so. It was God’s grace through and through.
So here are my questions for you: Whose highlight reel are you measuring your life against right now? What might change if you asked God what’s actually yours to carry this season?
