Ask Dr Zoe | Grit and Grace Life

Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Start Dating After Divorce?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Ready to Date Again’ Asked: After a 20 year marriage failed, almost 10 years of counseling and working on myself, I’m ready to date again. But how do I trust again? How do I get out there to find the “right” guy? I thought it would happen naturally, but it hasn’t. Dr. Zoe Answered: Congratulations!! You have done the hard work, and now comes the fun (and a little more work). “Meeting naturally” is an interesting idea. Plenty of people assume that if they meet purposefully then somehow there is something less natural about their beginning. I call that hogwash. You can naturally meet plenty of people who are not relationship material. And you can purposefully meet your soulmate if you are […]

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Find the Right Therapist for My Needs?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Liz’ Asked: How do you find the right therapist? I know I need one, and I also know the value of a good therapist. I’ve tried faith-based counseling in my area- found it to be very surface level and frankly kind of sexist. I’ve tried finding one through my healthcare network and even through an app. It’s just hard to find the right fit. I want someone who shares my faith, but also someone who has experience with serious mental health issues, which are a part of my story. Dr. Zoe Answered: Hi Liz, this is such a great question. Finding a good therapist is much like dating. Sometimes frustrating, but when you’ve found “the one,” you’ve found gold. I suggest that

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Choose the Right Man in My Love Triangle?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Texas Tangled’ Asked: This might end up sounding like a terrible romance movie…I am a 30 year old divorcee (I was married young in a military marriage that ended when I was 24). I was in a long-term relationship with *Travis for two years, in which we had great chemistry, lots of fun, good teamwork, and just solid, simple country life. But as our relationship progressed, he had issues with commitment and couldn’t get to the next step or even talk about it. We would go through these cycles of everything being fine, then a build to a huge fight and then fine again. Finally, it began to really wear the closer to 2 years we got, and he broke up with

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Should I Finish My Degree or Change My Career Path?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Still Not Graduated’ Asked: I have been very blessed that my parents have been able to financially support me as I seek higher education. The problem is I don’t know what I want from this education. I recently realized that I am extremely unhappy pursuing my current degree, but I do not want to change course and begin working on a different degree. However, since I never did any internships in school, I have no experience and cannot find employment. I feel that my parents have invested so much money in me, and I have nothing to show them in return. Should I finish my degree and try to gain experience? I am at a loss for what to do now. Dr.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Stop Being a People Pleaser?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Paranoid and anxious’ Asked: Dr. Zoe, HELP ME! I know that this question, not even a question really, may seem bizarre and a no-brainier, but to me, it’s my life and I hate it! I’m such a people pleaser, always wanting to help someone out even if it means spreading myself far too thin. I’m always worried if someone doesn’t text me back, want to hang out, like my post on Facebook or return my phone calls that they are mad at me, secretly hate me, or they are laughing behind my back. I’m constantly paranoid about my friendships and even sometimes with my marriage. My anxiety will be so bad that I take it out on my husband and children. At

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Ask Dr. Zoe – My Husband Is Having an Affair. What Do I Do Now?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Judith Ann’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, I am heartbroken because I recently learned my husband of 22 years has been engaged in an emotional affair (with some physical closeness but claiming not sex) with a woman client (he’s a contractor) I introduced him to. The woman’s marriage was bad when they began their business relationship, but it soon turned towards more personal interactions…attention, compliments, shared interests, shared marital problems, and unhappiness, and it has spiraled into more romantic connections, nights out meeting one another in secret, etc. I am exhausted and overwhelmed with emotions. I am 65 and retired and that income is not enough to support myself on my own, and my husband’s income isn’t as good as it used to

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Does My Boyfriend’s Grief Mean My Life’s on Hold?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Jen. B’ Asked: Hi Dr. Zoe, I hope this email finds you well! Last year […] my boyfriend’s younger sister (who is a twin) died suddenly. It has been just a little over a year now, and that was one of the hardest years on our relationship. Not only did she pass late Christmas night (which has made it incredibly hard for his family), my younger sister was also her best friend and with both of the twins when she died. My sister and his other younger sister no longer speak. Just wanted to give you a bit of the background, and all the stress factors that have gone into this past year. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3

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Ask Dr. Zoe – When Do I Introduce My New Man to My Kids?

By Dr. Zoe Shaw / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Dating Diva’ Asked: I’m a single mom with a young son. What’s the best way to introduce my child to someone I’m dating? When do I do it? And how? What are some things to avoid him getting hurt? Dating Diva Dr. Zoe Answered: With so much conflicting information out there, it’s easy to feel confused, fearful and guilty when it comes to dating life and your kids. So here’s what I know. You’re probably taking this introduction part way too seriously. Yes, I know this is serious stuff—relationships, parenting—all wrapped in one. But this is a long haul type of thing. The introduction part is just the tip of the iceberg. So take a deep breath. There are certainly ways to

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Deal with a Very Toxic Relationship with My Father?

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

Any toxic relationship will be emotionally and mentally trying, but the pressure is compounded when the person on the other end is a family member, or someone that you want to trust. A reader asked about finding clarity amid a toxic relationship with her father and the guilt she felt toward putting a distance between them. Dr. Zoe Shaw responds with a discussion on the boundary you must set for yourself and your relationship with those who hurt you, even when you want to keep them close.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Are You Stuck In a Relationship Phase? (video)

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

A relationship can get frustrating when you’re expecting a proposal or deciding on a wedding date, but your man doesn’t appear to be in any hurry to move to the next step. Although this often exposes the man’s fear of commitment, you may have also played a role by prematurely giving him the benefits of a fiance or wife. Dr. Zoe outlines each phase of a relationship so you can know what to expect—and how much you’re supposed to give—at every level.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – 6 Steps to Transform Your Self-Talk (video)

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Purpose

If you’ve ever criticized yourself about the things you’ve done, or the things that others have done to you, then you are rooting yourself in a destructive habit, my friend! Would you tell a dear friend that they are ugly or stupid? Of course not! Because you recognize their innate value. It’s time for you to recognize your own! We all make mistakes, and many times, people disappoint us. But directing the shame and hurt inward will curb our growth and misinform the way we see the world. In this video, psychotherapist Dr. Zoe Shaw review six steps for recognizing, monitoring and transforming the way we speak to ourselves. It’s a process that takes time and persistence, she says, but the results

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Deal with a Narcissist?

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

Dealing with a narcissist isn’t always as simple as being around someone who thinks highly of themself. True narcissism is a mental health disorder that makes any relationship difficult and often toxic. If a family member or coworker is a narcissistic person, then maintaining healthy boundaries is extremely important for you both. Psychotherapist Dr. Zoe Shaw breaks down why narcissists often react the way they do, and how you can navigate the relationship without compromising your values.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Co-parent with a Toxic Ex?

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

This is a tough situation. You and the person you had once believed would be a part of your forever are no longer on good terms—they’re toxic, selfish and manipulative. And to make the situation more difficult, you share a child (or children) together. So how do you successfully co-parent with someone who you’re not sure you can trust? Dr. Zoe Shaw, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach, shares the truth behind your expectations and how you can still create a healthy, thriving environment to raise your children.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Want Your Kids’ Dad to Be More Involved? Do This!

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

As a momma, maybe you haven’t been too pleased watching your husband’s relationship with your kids. He doesn’t strive to be as intentionally involved with them as you’d like him to be, and you don’t want your kids growing up without fond memories or respect for him. Although it may seem out of your hands, it’s not! Dr. Zoe Shaw, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach, shares five ways you can encourage him to partake in activities and meaningful conversations with your children—and be a great father.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – What Helps My Relationship With His Ex? Signed, Struggling Stepmom

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

Being a stepmom is an extremely important, yet difficult, job. There are little ones to care for, but this often involves maintaining some sort of relationship with the children’s mother—and this can be trying in itself. Maybe there’s baby mama drama, or the children’s mother resents you for the new role you’re playing in her kids’ lives that she has no control over. Licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach Dr. Zoe Shaw explains how honesty and good communication are key factors in repairing your relationship with the mother of your stepchildren.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Vague Promises of Commitment…What Do I Do?

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

Have you been dating your boyfriend for years, with no sign of a ring in sight? Then you already stayed too long, according to psychotherapist Dr. Zoe Shaw. In this video, Dr. Zoe explains why your boyfriend gets upset at the prospect of an engagement, and how your actions might contribute to his resentful behavior.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Reconnect with My Disconnected Husband?

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

It’s worrisome when your husband seems to have checked out—without an interest in explaining what’s on his mind. As a wife, you immediately want to know how to help without pushing him further away. Psychotherapist and relationship coach Dr. Zoe Shaw explains that allowing him the distance to process on his own time is an important first step. Tune into the video to learn what else you can do during that time to remind your husband that he has your support, no matter what.

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