If you spent more than five minutes in the church growing up, you’ve probably been asked or have asked yourself what your calling is. You might have even taken a survey or a quiz. And if you’re anything like me, then you might have spent a great deal of time searching for your calling and wondering when the heck you would figure it out. Do I have a call? Did I miss it?
I used to think that one day the skies would open up and a loud voice from heaven would tell me what on earth I was here for. Okay, maybe I am being a bit dramatic, but I did live my life with an expectancy that, at some point along the way, I should figure it out.
I Longed to Know What My Purpose Was
I had this deep desire to know what my purpose on earth was. If I knew, then maybe I could really focus and make a real difference in the world. I envied the worship leaders at church who could sing, because it seemed so obvious for them. If you can sing, you’re probably called to worship. I can’t sing, so scratch that one off the list. If I am being completely honest though, the whole thing kept me up at night sometimes. What on earth was my purpose?!
I knew I wanted to serve the Lord. I knew I wanted my life to have meaning. I just didn’t feel like the school drop offs, the late-night practices, and the Amazon returns were doing it for me. Don’t get me wrong—I was not totally hopeless. I knew my life mattered and I loved every part of it. I just had this deep, innate feeling that there had to be more. Like somehow the mediocre and the mundane were just hiccups along the road to more important things.
I already knew the capital C church things. I knew that I was called to love the Lord with all my heart, to make disciples, to serve others, and to bear fruit. I passed Sunday school with an A+, so I got it, but other people’s “callings” seemed so obvious to them. If I did have a call, I must’ve screwed it up along the way.
We all long for our lives to have meaning and purpose. All of us, regardless of our race, ethnicity, or religious views, know deep down inside we aren’t just merely here. We all have a deep desire to leave a legacy behind and to find value in what we put our hands to. We have all been wired for more.
Is Ministry Work the Only Way to Live With Purpose?
So, where does that leave me? Am I supposed to sit around and wait for the skies to open up? The obvious answer is no, but sadly it’s kind of the way that I had been living. And as sad as it is for me to say, I know I am not the only one.
The “church” has done a great job of conditioning me over the years to “find my calling.” People love to say, “I’ve been called to lead worship,” or “I am called to preach”, and while these aren’t bad things to say, and I know the intent behind it is good, I can’t help but wonder if it subconsciously creates a mental barrier between those in ministry and those “on the sidelines”?
Does it unintentionally encourage those not in ministry to feel as though ministry is the only avenue that can make a real difference in the kingdom?
Honestly, it took my life being completely rearranged and turned upside down to start really reflecting on it all and I started to wonder if this mentality might cause us to miss the point.
When our family gave away everything we owned, and moved to the States, God began to reveal things in me I hadn’t seen before. I remember sitting in an empty house, in a new place, with no friends, and thinking, Why am I here Lord? And what’s the point? I think it took God removing all my distractions for me to be able to hear him.
Ministry mentality Laila was all I could hear. Over and over and over again.
Ministry mentality.
Then I Had a Vision That Changed Everything
I had a vision. It was a beautiful sunny day, and I was walking down a dirt path. There was grass growing along both sides and there was nothing but soil straight ahead for as far as I could see.
My hands were full of seeds, and as I walked, I began to sprinkle seeds along the way. The seeds began to sprout behind me, and beautiful wildflowers and gardens began to grow. It was an incredible scene.
In that moment, the Lord said to me, “Laila, the path represents your everyday life. Each day I give you seeds, and as you sprinkle them, I am growing a garden.” The seeds represented all the opportunities the Lord had given me that day. Opportunities, large or small, that would grow into a beautiful garden He was planting.
Did I pray for the school in the car line instead of doom-scrolling on TikTok? Did I spend time with my children instead of hiding away? Instead of isolating myself on my phone in the grocery checkout, did I look around at the people God placed in my path? Did I notice the opportunities to invest in relationships that might one day open the door to share Jesus? Was I being intentional with the people God placed in my path?
Did I let someone go ahead of me in line or pay for someone’s coffee in the drive-thru? Did I worship on my way to work? What did I do with the seeds I had been given?
See, when you realize that God has given each of us our own measure of seeds each day, and it’s up to us to decide how to sprinkle them, every moment becomes holy. God is weaving together a tapestry that spans across multitudes and generations, and we get to play a part in it every day.
David was anointed to become king, but before he ever wore a crown. he faithfully served as a shepherd, musician, warrior, son, husband, and father.
Esther wasn’t just a queen. She was a daughter, a wife, an intercessor, an advocate, a courageous leader, and God used every one of those roles for His glory.
I believe that God has specific assignments for us in different seasons, but our everyday calling is the same. We must faithfully steward every opportunity He places before us.
We are vessels. We are filled with the Holy Spirit, and we carry it with us everywhere we go. It’s not the “churches” responsibility to do the ministry, it’s ours. We are the church.
If the Holy Spirit lives in me, then every conversation, every grocery store trip, every school pickup, every meeting, and every ordinary Tuesday becomes an opportunity to reflect Christ.
If You’re Searching for Your Calling, You Might Be Asking the Wrong Questions
I spent years searching for my calling, but I was asking the wrong question.
Maybe, instead of asking, “Lord, what is my calling?” perhaps we should ask, “Lord, what would You have me do with the seed You’ve given me today?”
Our calling isn’t hidden somewhere in the future waiting to be discovered. It is found in our daily obedience. It is found in the posture of our heart. Scatter your seeds. Love the people in front of you and trust God with the harvest.
“Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.” Ecclesiastes 11:6
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