Friendship

Articles on all types of friendship and friendship issues.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – My Friend Exhibits Hurtful, Toxic Behavior. Can I Help Her?

By / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Meg the Muse’ Asked: Dear Dr. Zoe, My friend of 17 years behaves in strange, hurtful ways and I don’t know whether these things could indicate some sort of personality disorder or trauma. She gives the silent treatment, pushes her friends away, accuses other people of being out to get her or of disrespecting her boundaries without saying what those boundaries are, love bombs people and then cuts them off, holds grudges, cries and is embarrassed easily, has unrealistic standards and won’t accept criticism. This has been a pattern for many years now. She still lives with her parents, hasn’t dated in 5 years and refuses to step out of her comfort zone even a little bit. I love her and want […]

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Do You Know Your Purpose? It May Surprise You! - 193

Do You Know Your Purpose? It May Surprise You! – 193

By / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreStudies have proven that we’re more productive, live longer, and laugh more when we spend time with others. It only makes sense, then, that our relationships are significant to our existence—and that the most important purpose we can have is pouring into the lives of others. On this week’s podcast, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss how to do just that. They lay out a framework for how to show unconditional love to friends and family that have made both small and serious mistakes; they share stories of the women who invested in them and changed the trajectory of their lives; and they encourage us

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True Purpose Is Found in How We Care for Others

By / Purpose, Life & Culture

I watch as a woman I dearly treasure is overtaken by the stronghold of dementia, and I resign to the fact that none of us has control or the ability to change this course. Repeated stories and angry outbursts, followed by confusion—this has become the norm for this strong, kind, and loving lady. While these are not the actions of the aunt who has impacted my life so significantly, it’s where she finds herself in the twilight of her life. But my heart doesn’t stay where she is today. Instead, it leads me to the actions throughout her life. The deep and constant investment she made in mine. These will always be part of my treasured memories, keeping residence in my heart.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do You Make Friends as an Adult?

By / Ask Dr. Zoe, Relationships

‘Taylor’ Asked: How do you make friends as an adult? Dr. Zoe Answered: No one tells us that it’s so much harder to make friends as an adult than when you were a kid. Rest assured, you and a trillion other adults have the same problem. In adulthood, friendships tend to be pocketed, consisting of different circles of interest. And then there are those that stand the test of time, which can be few and far between. Making new friends really isn’t much different than dating. I know dating can be nerve-wracking, so let’s go with a shopping metaphor instead. If you want to find a new BFF, you have to first put yourself out there and then be willing to try

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How do I Connect with Friends when I Feel Alone? with Katie Cress – 165

By / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | More Friendships are incredibly valuable to our lives and our well-being, but they take work. Just like marriage, different seasons of life will require our attention and complicate these relationships. We might find that the dynamic has changed, or the frequency of communication has dwindled. In this episode, Grit and Grace Life writer and counselor Katie Cress joins Darlene Brock and Julie Bender to share the steps she took to connect with friends after a cross-country move left her feeling lonely and withdrawn. In order to maintain healthy friendships—or restore frayed ones—we need to put in the time and effort to connect. If this sounds

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for shirley, the wonderful neighbor who made everyone feel special

For Shirley, the Wonderful Neighbor Who Made Everyone Feel Special

By / Relationships

The air on the porch was heavy and the cicadas chanted their morning prayers. I peered past the redwood fence separating our yard from that of the most wonderful neighbor. Katie concentrated, brushing her Barbie’s tresses. “Did you hear anything?” I asked my sister. “Nope,” she responded. I wondered how much longer it would be. “We’re so hot, Mom,” I yelled into the kitchen. “It’s not even 10:00,” said Mom. “Not yet.” Clink. The pool gate, a sure sign that it was time. My heart raced a bit. I was 9 years old, and it was time to go swimming. Past the pool towels that danced, long and loose on the clothes line, popped a sun-glassed head. “You girls wanna swim?” she

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Ask Dr. Zoe – How Do I Stop Being a People Pleaser?

By / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Paranoid and anxious’ Asked: Dr. Zoe, HELP ME! I know that this question, not even a question really, may seem bizarre and a no-brainier, but to me, it’s my life and I hate it! I’m such a people pleaser, always wanting to help someone out even if it means spreading myself far too thin. I’m always worried if someone doesn’t text me back, want to hang out, like my post on Facebook or return my phone calls that they are mad at me, secretly hate me, or they are laughing behind my back. I’m constantly paranoid about my friendships and even sometimes with my marriage. My anxiety will be so bad that I take it out on my husband and children. At

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This Grit & Grace Life Podcast Preview – Episode 150 Friendship

By / Relationships

Friendships are one of our most treasured gifts, but the truth of the matter is that some are lifelong and others are not. So how are we prioritizing these important relationships? Are we building up the ones that matter, or are we investing time and energy into a friendship that’s reached the end of its season? In this podcast episode, Darlene and Julie share the signs of a friendship that’s ended and how to move on in a healthy way. Like romantic relationships, a broken friendship is painful at first. But over time you’ll discover that you’ve made room to invest in the ones that here to stay. And for those special friendships that are rooted for life, the ladies explain how

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Episode 96 grace filled friend

This Grit and Grace Life Podcast Preview – Episode 96 How to Be a Grace-Filled Friend in Hard Times

By / Relationships

When we have a friend or family member going through a difficult season, our instinct is to make them feel better, as quickly as we know how. While we want to be available for our loved ones during tough times, they may not want our consolation or advice. Often, these friends want more than words: They want our support, our love and assurance that we’ll be around when they’re ready to open up. In this podcast episode, Darlene and Julie discuss practical ways that we can offer grace and show up during our loved ones’ toughest times.

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This Grit and Grace Life Podcast

How Strong Women Can Have Healthy Friendships – 150

By / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | Email | TuneIn | RSS | MoreDo women really need friends? Do they need female friendships? What does it take to create a bond that flourishes? How do you know when a friendship should end because the harm outweighs the good, bringing hurt instead of joy? Can women have long-term friendships? Can they be “just friends” with men? These are just a few of the issues that co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender consider while unpacking how to deepen relationships with friends who are safe, those you can trust. Also, they’ll discuss how to cut off a bond that has turned toxic. It takes both grit and grace to have quality

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what do you do when bearing their burdens breaks you

What Can You Do When Bearing Their Burden Breaks You?

By / Faith

We all know someone carrying a burden. A friend on Facebook who recently got divorced, a family member in a bad relationship, a coworker with a wayward child, a mom friend who lost her husband. We don’t have to look too far to find someone in need because we live in a broken world. And if you’re like me, you see a loved one in distress, and it might as well be a giant Batgirl signal blaring brightly in the dead of night. You grab your cape from your closet, ready to jump into action and bear the burden of another. You are armed with a checkbook, and a hand mixer is your sword to whip up some breakfast bread. You buy

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This Is What I Learned About People Who Ghost You

By / Relationships

Remember in high school when your life revolved around your friends? Oh, the drama! Who was talking to whom, who was crushing on which guy, who was talking behind someone else’s back? After all, we had nothing else to keep us occupied; no jobs, no kids, no husbands. In a lot of ways, it was a relief when we moved past that part of our life. When you become an adult, your relationships change. They become deeper, richer, and often more authentic. As adults, we can support each other through the dark valleys of life and celebrate the times we are at the top of the mountain. Over the years and throughout the stages of a woman’s life, friendships bring an intense

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This Is How a Good Friend Prays

By / Faith

There’s a story in the Bible about four men who brought their paralytic friend to Jesus to be healed. So many people were gathered to listen to Jesus teach that the men could not get their friend into the house to see him. Even though the doors were blocked and the crowd was in the way, it didn’t stop them from getting the man to Jesus. In fact, they went to the roof. These men not only took time to bring their friend to Jesus, but now they were digging a hole in the roof to lower him down right to the Lord. Can you imagine? What did Jesus do when he saw their faith? He met the man’s immediate need for

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Is It Wrong for a Married Mom to Want More Time With Friends?

By / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Needing Girl Time’ Asked: I want to make more time for friendships this year but I feel guilty leaving my husband and kids to do so—is it wrong to make regular girl time happen? How can I explain that I need it to my family without making them feel neglected? Dr. Zoe Answered: What do your kids do for fun? Ask them how important their playtime is. Ask them to imagine if they couldn’t have playtime anymore. Explain to them that moms need playtime too. Tell them that spending time with your friends is your playtime. That’s pretty simple, but oh, that darn guilt! We can barely mention the word motherhood without talking about guilt. After all, once we become mothers (if

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To my single friends

Dear Single Friends: What I See When I Look at You

By / Relationships

I have watched you, Single Friends. I have seen your days of discouragement, your seasons of loneliness. I have hurt when you hurt and desired for you all that you desire. Your road may be one without a partner, or you may be alone because the one you had left you behind. I have seen you feel so very alone. Then I look past those moments to see how you have lived, how you have loved. How you have filled the voids in life that others of us have no means to fill. You have stayed late to hold another’s grief in your arms when many of us go home. You have guided that niece when her mother is desperate for another

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What Your Grieving Friend Really Wants You to Know (video)

By / Relationships

Nothing embodies “grit and grace” quite like a grief journey—and this is true whether the person grieving is you or someone you love. Grief brings about a rollercoaster of emotions that vary with each individual. No one grief journey is the same as someone else’s. And because of that, it’s important to be sensitive to someone’s emotions and the memory of the person they lost. This is often difficult, and, if we’re being honest, a bit awkward. Our natural instinct is to reach out and shoulder some of the pain for our friend, to erase some of the sadness that has infiltrated her life. But in doing so, we stumble over our words, offer empty phrases intended to be encouraging, or try

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5 Words All Good Friends Need to Know How to Say

5 Words All Good Friends Need to Know How to Say

By / Relationships

If I asked you to describe good friends, I bet the answer your picture would paint would look a lot like mine. The canvas would fill with kindness and caring. We would see laughter and loyalty. There would be space for trust and room for adventure. Our hearts would add fun and maybe a bit of silliness so we would long to come back for more and gaze with appreciation and a smile. And I believe as we put down our brushes we would see that right in the center of our masterpiece beats a heart that longs to know our own beating heart. If we find even one friend who matches our portrait, we have found treasure. Maybe a more difficult

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