| The Grit and Grace Project

what do you do when bearing their burdens breaks you

What Can You Do When Bearing Their Burden Breaks You?

We all know someone carrying a burden. A friend on Facebook who recently got divorced, a family member in a bad relationship, a coworker with a wayward child, a mom friend who lost her husband. We don’t have to look too far to find someone in need because we live in a broken world. And if you’re like me, you see a loved one in distress, and it might as well be a giant Batgirl signal blaring brightly in the dead of night. You grab your cape from your closet, ready to jump into action and bear the burden of another. You are armed with a checkbook, and a hand mixer is your sword to whip up some breakfast bread. You buy […]

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This Is How a Good Friend Prays

By Joy Hogben / Faith

There’s a story in the Bible about four men who brought their paralytic friend to Jesus to be healed. So many people were gathered to listen to Jesus teach that the men could not get their friend into the house to see him. Even though the doors were blocked and the crowd was in the way, it didn’t stop them from getting the man to Jesus. In fact, they went to the roof. These men not only took time to bring their friend to Jesus, but now they were digging a hole in the roof to lower him down right to the Lord. Can you imagine? What did Jesus do when he saw their faith? He met the man’s immediate need for

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Is It Wrong for a Married Mom to Want More Time With Friends?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Needing Girl Time’ Asked: I want to make more time for friendships this year but I feel guilty leaving my husband and kids to do so—is it wrong to make regular girl time happen? How can I explain that I need it to my family without making them feel neglected? Dr. Zoe Answered: What do your kids do for fun? Ask them how important their playtime is. Ask them to imagine if they couldn’t have playtime anymore. Explain to them that moms need playtime too. Tell them that spending time with your friends is your playtime. That’s pretty simple, but oh, that darn guilt! We can barely mention the word motherhood without talking about guilt. After all, once we become mothers (if

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Dear Single Friends: What I See When I Look at You

By Darlene Brock / Relationships

I have watched you, Single Friends. I have seen your days of discouragement, your seasons of loneliness. I have hurt when you hurt and desired for you all that you desire. Your road may be one without a partner, or you may be alone because the one you had left you behind. I have seen you feel so very alone. Then I look past those moments to see how you have lived, how you have loved. How you have filled the voids in life that others of us have no means to fill. You have stayed late to hold another’s grief in your arms when many of us go home. You have guided that niece when her mother is desperate for another

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What Your Grieving Friend Really Wants You to Know (video)

By Our Grit and Grace Life Videos / Relationships

Nothing embodies “grit and grace” quite like a grief journey—and this is true whether the person grieving is you or someone you love. Grief brings about a rollercoaster of emotions that vary with each individual. No one grief journey is the same as someone else’s. And because of that, it’s important to be sensitive to someone’s emotions and the memory of the person they lost. This is often difficult, and, if we’re being honest, a bit awkward. Our natural instinct is to reach out and shoulder some of the pain for our friend, to erase some of the sadness that has infiltrated her life. But in doing so, we stumble over our words, offer empty phrases intended to be encouraging, or try

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5 Words All Good Friends Need to Know How to Say

By Cherie Shaw / Relationships

If I asked you to describe good friends, I bet the answer your picture would paint would look a lot like mine. The canvas would fill with kindness and caring. We would see laughter and loyalty. There would be space for trust and room for adventure. Our hearts would add fun and maybe a bit of silliness so we would long to come back for more and gaze with appreciation and a smile. And I believe as we put down our brushes we would see that right in the center of our masterpiece beats a heart that longs to know our own beating heart. If we find even one friend who matches our portrait, we have found treasure. Maybe a more difficult

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Doubt Your Influence? We Don’t and Here’s Why – 124

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | More Women have incredible influence. Whether we realize it or not, embrace it or not, or even like it or not, we have the power to affect others’ lives for good or for bad. Our life impacts those closest to us, in our homes and our social circles. We even influence across the internet, which reaches all around the world. This fact shouldn’t scare us (although some healthy fear could be appropriate here). Instead, it should inspire us to live a life worthy of imitation in all things—from family to faith to what we do for fun. In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, Co-Hosts Darlene Brock

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Do You Expect More From Women Than Men? Should You? – 118

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | More As women, have you ever noticed how we hold men and women to different standards? In This Grit and Grace Life podcast episode, hosts Darlene and Julie have an insightful and thought-provoking conversation on the different expectations we have for each gender. When it comes to our relationships with women, we often tend to be way more “judgy” and condescending, are quick to hold grudges, and dwell on what they did or didn’t do. If they don’t stand by us, show up, and be the support system we would like them to be, we cut them off in a heartbeat without thinking twice. But

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Why You Need to Support Other Women and 5 Ways to Start

By Sheena Jeffers / Relationships

She sat across from me on the floor, on a multi-colored pillow. We were in a room full of women who were there for one reason: to replenish one another. This may seem odd or unfamiliar. It was to me at first. I had grown accustomed to petty competition that seeps into the pores of women, holding us back, keeping us on edge. What started in elementary school as girl-on-girl crime developed, blossomed, and bloomed into women throw-down tear-downs in the adult world. How did this happen? Gossip. Betrayal. Envy. Language. In our world, women compete for partners, jobs, best in motherhood, in sexiness, in meal preparation, in parties, in got-it-all-togetherness. Within this competition you’ll find eye-rolling, cutting other women down with words, whispers,

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9 Qualities You Need in a Good Friend

By Ashley Johnson / Relationships

I drove upstate to visit my best friend from college this past weekend because she just had her first baby. I couldn’t help but ponder the milestones we’ve shared: graduations, weddings, fur-babies, careers, buying and selling homes, and now…motherhood! Our friendship has felt pretty special from the start, so it got me thinking about what it is that makes our relationship so life-giving… 9 Qualities That Make a Good Friend: 1. Someone who helps carry your load, but doesn’t make you feel like a burden. 2. Someone who knows your worst, but only sees your best. 3. Someone who never makes you feel small, no matter how big they are. 4. Someone who doesn’t flaunt, especially when they know you’re hurting. 5.

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Ask Dr. Zoe – Are My Expectations Too High?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Faith Over Fear’ Asked: I have been asked by several of my girlfriends who have watched me struggle, and somehow survive, “How do you deal with disappointment?” I don’t have the answers. And if I did, I would be selling it online in mass quantities for all my fellow stressed out warrior women out there. I struggle. It’s human. I would like to think I am secure and confident enough to admit it. One of the largest weaknesses I have is how sensitive I am to other people and their inability to step up and be better people. I want nothing more than for all of us to strive for better character. If the quote goes, “Be the change you wish to see

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Want to Be a Strong Woman? Set Healthy Boundaries – 103

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | More Healthy relationships require healthy boundaries. But do you struggle to know what they are? Whether we’re talking with a friend, significant other, family member, or stranger, boundaries matter! And sadly, healthy ones are not taught; most often, we learn that we need them when the relationships we find ourselves in begin to hurt us. Having pondered this, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Graham discuss why boundaries are important. They focus on four types you need and how to begin implementing them in your life. Setting these boundaries will require grit and grace, but take heart; you can do it! This episode will serve you well in all

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Do You Know Why You Need the Kindness of a Touch?

By Jodi Shultz / Faith

Imagine living in isolation, deprivation, and depression. Completely cut off from family and friends yet knowing they are out there, living and going on without you. Deep within, there is a longing for connection—to greet with a handshake or embrace, to sit down together for a meal, to be close enough to rub shoulders and laugh over a snarky remark. But you can’t, because no one can come near you, and even if they could, they couldn’t stand the stench… Such was the life and longing of a person with leprosy. We can read a powerful story about this in the Gospel of Mark 1:40-42. Now, before you check out on me thinking that this story has nothing to do with you,

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Non-Creepy Ways to Get to Know Your Neighbor

Easy Ways to Get to Know Your Neighbor

By Joyell Nevins / Relationships

One of the great commandments is “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). That works a lot better when you actually know who your neighbors are. Even though Jesus was talking about people beyond your physical next-door neighbor, next door is still a good place to start. But long gone are the days when it was common to bake a plate of cookies and show up on someone’s doorstep to welcome them to the neighborhood or apartment building. Although sweet treats can be a great inroad (I still make something yummy for my students’ last day!), what if your baking skills ended at the Easy-Bake Oven? Or you’d rather not risk that possibly awkward scene at the front door where you shove

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Ask Dr. Zoe – When Is a Friendship Toxic?

By Dr. Zoe / Ask Dr. Zoe

‘Frazzled Florida Friend’ Asked: Friends come and go and we all know that, but, how do I know when it’s time for me to let a friend go? What are my signs that this may be a toxic friendship that I need to let go of? Should I just let us “grow apart” or have a conversation with her? Dr. Zoe Answered: At the same time, you asked me how to know if you need to let her go, you also asked me what is the best method to end the friendship, which tells me that you probably answered your own first question. A change needs to happen in your relationship and deep down, you know this. The hard part is determining

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How to Be a Grace-Filled Friend in Hard Times – 096

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreDo you want to be a friend who doesn’t run when life gets messy? The person who stays, offering her time, support, and love—sometimes without saying a word. This life is full of ups and downs. We all have our share of challenges, and when disappointment, disaster, or disruption happens, what we need most is a grace-filled friend. Off mic, Darlene and Julie have had these conversations when people they love need them. Knowing what to do or say when a friend or a family member is facing hard things like divorce, loneliness, betrayal, addiction, job loss, grief, singleness, and even doubting their faith. In this episode,

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What Are the Unexpected Gifts of Depression? With Melissa Maimone – 095

By Smart Living with Grit and Grace / Podcast

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | Android | TuneIn | RSS | MoreCan depression be a gift? Is there something to be gained from those dark and hard places in life? If you or someone you love live with this battle, you’ve probably also felt the shame that seems to accompany the intense pain and feelings of hopelessness. The current estimates state that 15% of adults will experience this growing challenge—depression—at some point in their lives. With this in mind, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Graham interview Melissa Maimone, author of The Radiant Midnight: Depression, Grace and the Gifts of a Dark Place. Her transparency is refreshing as she shares her struggle, even admitting that for her, depression has

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